Heroes — "How to Stop an Exploding Man"

By: Brandon Nolta

 

Finale, thy name is anticlimax. After a season of twists, turns, more family surprises than a six-pack of soap operas (Hiro’s dad is Sulu?!?) and superpowers galore, HEROES ties it all together with a massive “feh.” Sure, the serial drama structure and dictates of the comic book genre require a few loose ends, but one of the things that made Tim Kring’s baby interesting was how he approached familiar material. People with superpowers probably wouldn’t buy long underwear and flit around helping old ladies, and that knowledge is one of the show’s dramatic strengths. But, in the pursuit of ratings, Kring et al went for the familiar instead of the interesting. It shows.

 

The fun begins with everybody in New York City. Linderman (Malcolm McDowell) is dead, thanks to a skull full of phase-shifted fist á la D.L. (Leonard Roberts). Niki (Ali Larter) is trying to keep D.L. from sliding off into the undiscovered country while looking for Micah (Noah Gray-Cabey). There’s a Mexican standoff between Suresh (Sendhil Ramamurthy) and Mr. Bennet (Jack Coleman) over a little girl who can track other superpowered humans. Hiro (Masi Oka) has finished sword training with Dad (George Takei) and is off to rescue Ando (James Kyson Lee). Peter (Milo Ventimiglia) and Claire (Hayden Panettiere) are trying to get outta town. Nathan (Adrian Pasdar) is watching himself on TV and marveling over what a handsome devil he is. Finally, Sylar (Zachary Quinto) — who is doing everything but foaming at the mouth and sporting a “Look, I’m the Legion of Doom all by myself” sign — is painting the future. The clock is ticking, and there are hard choices ahead.

 

Yet, once the threads start coming together, the tension starts to seep out. Viewers weaned on years of TV dramas know they’re not going to see the Big Apple roasted on a nuclear spit in prime time, so the proceedings feel like a shell game, trying to disguise which hero will save millions and which one(s) won’t be back next season. Up to now, HEROES could be relied upon to pull viewers over gaps of disbelief through skillful acting and character development. Not this time; the acting here feels rote, especially when last week’s clips remind us those actors, vets like Eric Roberts and McDowell, were awash with magnetism. Even Jack Coleman, normally reliable as the enigmatic Mr. Bennet, lost the steam in his stride; the resolve he showed against Suresh was gone ten minutes in. Only Adrian Pasdar, who can do this kind of thing unconscious (remember PROFIT?), and Richard Roundtree in a too-brief return, show any kind of fire for the good guys.

 
Then again, when you cram everything in, it’s hard to keep track of it all. Masi Oka, Ali Larter and Greg Grunberg, as Officer Parkman, make a three-way tie for Most Overlooked in a Season Finale, and just who the hell let Milo Ventimiglia in the room? Milo is not a bad actor — unlike Quinto, who has two speeds as Sylar: socially retarded and just mental — but he brings all the starch of overcooked spaghetti to his role. Somebody should have suggested Pasdar and Ventimiglia switch places; they could have played the characters exactly the same and it still would have worked better.
 
 
This part of the review is where all the spoilers are; if you don’t want to know what happened, go away. For heaven’s sake, Peter’s the Superman of this half-cocked gang, and what does he do in his climactic battle with Sylar? Fisticuffs! Not superpowered fisticuffs (didn’t he get some of Niki’s brawn?), but the regular kind, against a guy who fillets people with telekinesis. Why didn’t Peter do that? How come Hiro had to step in and skewer Sylar? Why did Nathan decide to fly his brother way the hell up in the sky to blow up instead of suggesting Peter do it himself? Did Peter forget he could fly? Sure, they saved New York, and it only cost them the most interesting hero and every freaking satellite within range of the EMP. Wonder if that side effect will make it into next season?
 
 
Arrgh; why am I asking these questions? Because the finale dropped the ball. Through ham-handed plot juggling, phoned-in acting and a blasé wrap-up to a scenario Alan Moore should sue over — tell me the basic idea wasn’t lifted from WATCHMEN — the season finale of HEROES ended with a definite whimper. Not even Hiro jaunting back to 17th-century Japan cleared away the taste of missed opportunities. And who was surprised to see Sylar’s blood leading into the sewers? I’ll give the season finale this much: The last shot of the cockroach crawling over the bloody manhole cover was a nice touch. Here’s hoping Tim and his crew get their groove back for round two.

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