By Michelle Lerner
The second episode of Mark Burnett and Steven Spielberg’s filmmaking-competition reality show, ON THE LOT, finds the contestants debuting their one-minute comedy shorts. The judges, Carrie Fisher, the venerable Garry Marshall, and DISTURBIA’s D. J.Caruso, are sticklers for plot arcs in the short films, as well they should. The problem is that the show, ON THE LOT, has no arc of it’s own. It yearns for a climax! Carrie and Garry sniping, Paula-and-Simon-style, would have worked beautifully. By the end I was almost asleep, praying that I wouldn’t have to watch anymore short films anytime soon. As for the films, I guess some were OK. Others just sucked. But there is no build at all. I guess they are trying to save some bang for the results show, which airs Tuesday night.
Following the format of AMERICAN IDOL almost identically, ON THE LOT is not compelling enough to sustain two hours on one night, much less three hours over two nights. Singing is a visceral talent. The performer gets up in front of a huge audience, and lets go. Failure is always a high note away. Filmmaking is quite the opposite; it is a collaborative occupation with results that depend on a variety of factors. A film, unless it is obviously terrible, can be uproarious to one person, boring to another and thrilling to a third. (It happens all the time. See opening box office grosses for PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: AT WORLD’S END, which was slammed by the critics, if you don’t believe me.)
As far as presentation goes, showing a film to a room of people doesn’t have quite the same thrill as watching a singer go for broke in front of a studio audience. The producers try to ratchet up the drama by repeatedly announcing how BIG a DEAL it is to WIN this thing, and how AMAZING the opportunity is. But instead of increasing tension, it makes the show feel as self-important as the OSCARS. Yikes.
Bravo seems to have cornered the market on career-making reality shows, with TOP CHEF, and PROJECT RUNWAY. The fascination with those shows is how when each creative type is given the same exact idea, the results they come up with are so different, both wonderful and terrible. ON THE LOT would probably benefit from the same process-orientated treatment. (The first episode did, to some extent.) But this being a Fox show, they are trying to milk the momentum for all the episodes they can. So, after an episode of process, they follow up with a whole show of films, and then a whole show of results. This robs the show of any momentum at all. I don’t really even care who goes home tomorrow night. After the first episode of AMERICAN IDOL, I do.
It is saying something that the highlight of the show is listening to 72-year-old Garry Marshall dispense wisdom and critiques. His advice is dead-on and to the point, and sure, his insistence that women filmmakers stick to women’s themes seems old-fashioned, but he’s right. And he’s funny. Oh yeah, and he really knows what he’s talking about. The man has been around for a long,long time. The contestants are lucky just to have the opportunity to show him their work and hear what he has to say about it.
ON THE LOT desperately needs a Simon Cowell. I had hoped it would be Carrie Fisher. On her talk show, she had the right amount of venom in her bite, but here she seems so enthralled with the directors’ burgeoning talent, she couches everything negative she says by telling they are wonderful filmmakers. She is so intelligent and fascinating, I just want to know what she really thinks.
The hostess, Adrianna Costa, is made up like a drag queen and dressed like it’s 1998, but after an annoying start, she relaxed, and revealed a somewhat appealing presence. And, she went with the one-liners Garry Marshall lobbed at her with aplomb.