I realized something while watching the Atlanta auditions on Thursday’s SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE, and it had nothing to do with the dancers: Mary Murphy is a human nutcracker doll. Her jaw drops and rises as she speaks (or lets out a Crazy Mary scream), while the rest of her face stays entirely motionless. Tell me you have noticed this. Should we be concerned?
My Mary revelation is probably indicative of how uneventful the Atlanta auditions were. For a city with the nickname “Hotlanta,” the talent just wasn’t all that hot. There were some standout dancers, but very few impressed the judges enough to make it straight through to Vegas. Rather, they were sent to SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE audition purgatory, better known as the choreography round.
As an amateur chef and budding sociopath, I naturally gravitated to the character of Hannibal the Cannibal in 1986. With whom else could I argue the nuances of the finer points of pancreas vs. thalamus sweetbreads, whilst eviscerating the proletariat with my Spyderco?
Alas, this love –- like a wine grape left too long on the vine –- withered away with each passing movie. Perhaps Michael Mann didn’t realize the Pandora’s box he was opening when he directed MANHUNTER. Perhaps Brian Cox and Anthony Hopkins thought they were just having a bit of fun as Hannibal Lecter. Or, maybe screenwriter Thomas Harris saw all that money rolling in and realized that recycling was the easiest and most profitable way to go (hey, if works for Michael Crichton it should work for anyone).
This latest installment of the Lecter series purports to reveal the storied and near-mythical origins of the most charmingly evil flesh-ripper ever. I couldn’t wait for this movie to come out. I got goose bumps when I saw pre-release stills of the young Hannibal (the quite sexy Gaspard Ulliel). Male friends were equally drooling over his aunt, the Lady Murasaki (Gong Li –- last seen as the Ice Geisha in MEMOIRS OF A GEISHA). Then, the film hit screens and displeasure ensued.