Tuesday, June 12, 2007 Rant Archive
By now we all know what to expect from Clooney’s gang of slick, sophisticated bandits: a thin plot built on style, hip music and the inside joke that they are actually these high-living, high-flying characters — albeit without the risk of prison. The fun is that they let us go along for the ride, so at least for two hours we’re in on the action.
In THIRTEEN, the whole crew returns, except for Julia Roberts and Catherine Zeta-Jones. Thank God for that! Roberts is horrible. The second she appeared in OCEAN’S TWELVE, the movie took a nosedive and never recovered.
While Zeta-Jones is great to look at, she served no real purpose. So, when Danny Ocean (Clooney) tells Rusty Ryan (Pitt), “It’s not their fight,” I almost yelled, “You go Daddy-O!” Danny’s crew are all guys, like it should be. Can you imagine Frank and Dean dragging along a dame to the
Big Score?
HBO’s BIG LOVE has a unique look which makes it instantly inviting. The show is shot in bright, hot whites and dazzling colors — making its setting, Utah, seem like a big, shiny, clean place. It is a vision of the American dream; of immaculate, just-built homes near wide-aisled shopping centers and gleaming new cars for everyone.
Maybe it is telling, then, that Barb (Jeanne Tripplehorn) the first wife in the Henrickson clan, drives an old wood-paneled station wagon. In this episode, the reality of her situation seems to cave in on her. She chose polygamy to please her husband, Bill, and not because of any religious beliefs; as a result she feels all wrong. The car is a talisman of the life she knew before — of 12 monogamous years and traditionally-accepted values. Barb flees, looking for answers, in that very car.
What do you call a sweaty, 300 lb. Chinese cowboy with an anxiety disorder who’s prone to crying fits? A man born to be on reality TV. Contestant Aaron is destined for infamy for being a colossal clown. As HELL’S KITCHEN’s Chef Ramsay would say, “Are you all right, Big Boy?” No, Chef. Not even a little bit.
The only real problem with HELL’S KITCHEN is the over-hype. Since this is FOX, there are certain things a viewer must put up with. (Hey, RESCUE ME starts its new season June 13. It was mentioned once or twice.) But, the spin has got to stop. Tonight’s episode was billed as “The most shocking HELL’S KITCHEN ever!!” Spoiler alert! … It wasn’t that shocking. Next week, however, it looks like someone is going to the hospital. I’m guessing it’s a nut allergy poisoning or Aaron passes out again, keels over and crushes another contestant. But, see that? I’m already buying into the hype and the actual show will never live up to the overdone expectations.