By Buzz Byrne

Parting is such sweet sorrow. I don’t believe in giving away endings; too often they are tied to the beginning, and therefore, that knowledge obliterates the journey. Nonetheless, I am about to salute a departing chef from HELL’S KITCHEN, so look away if you must. In this episode, we say goodbye to one of the greatest reality TV stars to come along since Billy from TEMPTATION ISLAND. It pains me to say this, but Chef Aaron is no longer on the show. He sweated his way into my heart and fainted his way out, leaving me with an unfillable void. Where else can I find a Chinese cowboy who cries at the suggestion of pressure, delivers nothing, passes out and then promises next time it will be better? Nowhere, so it’s best if I just move on.
 
But, if I could pause briefly and tell a sad story of the death of a king, I would say that Aaron was endearing to me because he was the nightmarish embodiment of failure. He hit failure like a boxer hits a speed bag; totally in rhythm and with exacting precision. He failed emotionally (“I can’t believe I’m crying!”), he failed physically (“Aaron...?” *THUD!*) and he failed mentally (As the blue team unravels, Chef Ramsay shouts, “What are you doing?” Aaron shouts back, “Nothing!”). He was a celebration of failure. Isn’t there a small part of all of us that would like to weep at any and all responsibility? Isn’t there a corner in our psyches that, when given a chance to regroup and “take a few minutes to pull it together,” would love to curl up and sleep for four-and-a-half hours? It’s freeing and frightening to see someone give over to that, and that’s what made Aaron so compelling. “The ripest fruit first falls,” sayeth the Bard. “Piss off,” sayeth Chef Ramsay.
 
But, Aaron wasn’t the only chef to go. The reward challenge was cooking breakfast for a number of soldiers from the Army and Navy.  Waffle House Julia powered her red team to victory. On the blue team, Aaron got cramps waking up in the morning, and his teammates had to dress him. After burning three omelets and spending the rest of the challenge standing around, Aaron fainted and was rushed away in an ambulance and later told that he could not return to the show for medical reasons. Chef Ramsay delivered the bad news quite tenderly, and as Aaron started to speak a word or two of thanks, Chef hung up on him. Perfect.
 
Then came the dinner service. On this show, beef Wellington has screwed more chefs than a morally flexible gourmand/TV groupie. Last week, the red team took over for the men and completed their dinner service. This week, neither team could get through the entrees. Joanna served rancid crab, Jen fished spaghetti out of the trash to serve, nobody appears capable of sautéing a scallop and Chef Rock occasionally refers to himself in the third person. Someone is filling that kitchen with crazy gas and all the chefs are breathing deeply. When it came to the elimination, the only surprise was that more chefs weren’t kicked out.
 
Julia is still the sentimental one to root for, but Melissa’s experience might win out in the end. Next week, I think Bonnie and Vinny are at the top of the list for most vulnerable. Most lamentable for us, there will be no more Aaron.