Thursday, June 21, 2007 Rant Archive
What do you get when you mix 14 chefs, a barbecue challenge and a hot summer day? A recipe for boredom.
After a creative and interesting start last week, this episode of TOP CHEF found the contestants doing something I have seen so many times, I could have predicted what they were going to make. I almost fell asleep.
The high level at which these chefs are cooking actually kind of hurts the show, because there is no dish that was obviously untasty, or as we say in the vernacular, “nasty.” Sometimes, to keep things entertaining, you need the foolish person who has no idea what s/he is doing.
For the first half of the episode, the burgeoning competition between Tre and Hung kept me hooked. So far, I am rooting for Tre, just because his dishes always look really good — even that peachy salmon thing the chefs said was too salty. Hung seems to have the goods, but he hasn’t really turned into the nemesis he promised to be last week. Instead, he comes off as more of a hyperactive child than a bad guy like TOP CHEF 2 runner-up Marcel (who I always thought bore more then a passing resemblance to Syndrome in THE INCREDIBLES). But, that’s OK.
As we move further into the fourth season of RESCUE ME, the plotlines are quickly falling into two distinct categories: worthwhile drama that’s at the peak of quality television, and crap I couldn’t care less about.
Example: Poor Tommy getting exploited by crazy Sheila into incorrectly admitting he couldn’t, um, please her as a reason for the beach house fire at the end of last season (and subsequent $2 million insurance policy that’s on the line). That’s an interesting story — if for no other reason than we don’t want our dear protagonist going out like that.
But, there’s a whole lot that I fear won’t be able to hold our attention for much longer this season — such as Teddy getting out of jail and quickly leaving his little lady by ditching her at a coffee shop. Yeah, that’ll work out. Is he just gonna skip out of town and hope she never looks for him? (Come on. I’ve tried to ditch plenty of chicks in my day, and I’ll tell you for sure that the ol’ climb-out-the-bathroom-window plan never works. Just trust me on this one.)
Or the whole Mike and his dying mother thing. Yeah, not gonna care about that one. I mean, she asked you to put her out of her misery, Mikey. Here’s a pillow. Make it happen and quit wasting our time.
Dear Agony Aunt,
Last night my new boyfriend’s mom saw me in my underwear. You see, I impulsively decided to get naked at his house after our first date, not knowing that she lived there too. My question is: Do you think it’s a good idea to wear a T-shirt as a dress when delivering the apology flowers? It’s my most conservative outfit, and I don’t want her calling me a slapper. I just need advice! Please help!
Best regards,
Shannon, an ex and future FOOTBALLERS WIFE
Dear Shannon,
Please feel free to wear whatever you want. I would counsel you to wear a conservative suit, or at least some trousers, but it’s just not your personality to do that. If Mum is ever to get to know you and love you, like we do, she should see you in all your semi-clothed glory. Just don’t expect diabetic Mum to like it very much. She seems as manipulative as the rest of the lot. And, her imitation of your accent is pretty funny. If I were you, I would stay away from the underage boys and ask Lucy what’s up. She might be able to lend you that fantastic T-shirt/denim skirt ensemble. I am sure Diabetic Mum would like you immediately if she saw you in that. It would remind her of her youth, in 1985, when she was a Duran Duran groupie. Especially the Nagel painting on the tee.