By Curt Schleier
   
I've reached a very important decision about HBO’s JOHN FROM CINCINNATI: This is a show probably best watched on drugs. Massive amounts of drugs. I figure under the haze of hallucinogens, the convoluted story lines may start to make sense.
   
(As a quick aside to the DEA, I of course do not use drugs — in part the reason I have been unable to figure out what’s going on here. Nor do I recommend the use of drugs — except for medicinal purposes and occasionally to figure out what David Milch is up to.)
   
We are now in episode three, the latter stages of Day Two. What have we discovered?
   
Mitch Yost (Bruce Greenwood), patriarch of the troubled surfing family, has levitated twice. We do not know why.
   
Young Shaun Yost (Greyson Fletcher), who was diagnosed with a broken spine and absolutely no brain wave activity, is miraculously cured when Zippy, a pet bird, kisses him. We do not know why.
   
Title character John (Austin Nichols) continues to talk in riddles and proclaim that the end is near. Only one person has figured out that something is wrong. Kai (Keala Kennelly), who works in the Yosts’ surf shop, asks him, “Has anyone called you slow, challenged?” But of course that isn’t the problem. There’s something else going on, but we still don’t know what.
   
What we do know is that the show contains a number of Milch trademarks. As in DEADWOOD, there is an inordinate amount of cussing. As anyone who has seen my reaction to the morons on the road when I drive, I’m not necessarily opposed to cursing. But only when there is a distinct purpose — for example, to inform another driver that his mother was a dog in heat and that he is illegitimate.
   
But, Milch just seems to throw in curses for the sake of cursing, and that diminishes him and his work, damn it!!
   
And, even when they’re not cursing, Milch’s characters speak funny. “I seek no confrontation with what I found within,” says one. Who talks like that?
   
I’ve watched Milch’s work for some time, going back to before NYPD BLUE. He’s always been a critical darling, but the truth is I never got it. So, I kept watching to see what I was missing. Is it possible that the rest of the world is wrong about Milch and I am right?
   
Yes it is. I am right. Milch is overrated and he owes me three hours of my life back.