By Buzz Byrne
Chef Ramsay is such an appealing bully. All the swearing, all the humiliation, all the over-the-top theatrics go beyond the normal voyeuristic self-satisfaction of reality TV. He is training these wannabe chefs to be better than they are. He is placing a higher expectation on the poor humps to force them — through his shear willpower and demand for quality — to become efficient gourmet kitchen marshals. And, they still think it is just a game.
This week’s episode of HELL’S KITCHEN has one of the staples of the season: the palate test. Chef Ramsay brought the remaining hopefuls front and center for a team competition where the contestants were blindfolded and ear-plugged and made to identify three simple foods by taste and texture. A strong palate is an essential talent that will carry a lesser chef far in this show, as exampled in Season II by the nominally-gifted Virginia making it all the way to the finals. This week — surprise, surprise — the Blue team lost. They couldn’t buy a reward challenge at this point. Vinnie didn’t know what seared tuna tasted like, and Josh got all three of his samples wrong. You don’t want the fate of your team resting in the hands of the slack-jawed, vacant-staring, frosted-tipped Vinnie from Jersey. How is he supposed to know what seared tuna tastes like? He’s a chef at a Jersey night club. To him, everything must taste like Drakkar, bronzing cream and Aqua Net.
For their reward, the Red team got to dine out in complete darkness at an L.A. gimmick restaurant. The men, meanwhile, had to prep both kitchens for that night’s service. Even the punishment is based on restaurant inevitabilities; after a brutal night, sometimes you have to pull it together for the next day’s catered affair that starts far too early. Oh, and to help improve their palates, the men had to feast on innards, tongues and trotters to gear up for the prep work.
Once the dinner service was underway, we are hit with two more HELL’S KITCHEN unavoidable happenings. First, the Wellington messed up both teams, and second, a customer went directly to Chef Ramsay to complain. The latter happens once every season, and the result is the delicious same each time: Chef hands the complainers their hind ends back to them. This week, he told the maitre d’ to “Show the (bleep)ing giraffe back to her table.” He doesn’t really give a bleep about the customer’s feelings any more than he does about the aspiring chefs’. It’s all about the food and cooking it perfectly and serving it quickly. Now, piss off and do it! How can that not be admired?
Before service was halted, we get the single greatest play-by-play segue from the narrator, who informs us, “As Vinnie struggles with his meat in the Blue kitchen, Bonnie tries to master her meat in the Red kitchen.” I wonder if Vinnie from Jersey is going to hear that repeated to him about 20 times a day for the rest of his life.
Neither team won, so Jen and Rock got nominating duties. Both screwed that up by nominating strategically instead of
looking to strengthen their teams. Chef Ramsay overruled them and put up the weakest from each team. I think the lesson was lost on both Jen and Rock, but the good news is that Rock still talks about Rock in the third person. Buzz likes that. Buzz likes that a lot.
I won’t say who was eliminated, but I will tell you that s/he ambled her/his matronly hips out of HELL’S KITCHEN with an unmistakable regional bravado.
As for predictions, Bonnie is now a constant possibility. She will be gone within two episodes. Look for a surprise elimination next week; I’m thinking possibly Melissa or Rock. Julia is still the underdog, but it is starting to look like they are stacking the deck in her favor for the storyline. Right now, I would bet on Brad as the winner.