By Matthew Wood

Here’s the list of things you need to know about marriage, according to Tommy Gavin: Listening, hugging, buying furniture, spooning. That’s it. That’s the list.

At least, that’s what he tells Franco, who is thinking of popping the question to his beloved Natalie (the poor bastard). Well, Franco, I’ve got some advice for you: Don’t listen to Tommy Gavin.

Yes, this is the same Tommy Gavin who is currently living with his ex-wife Janet — well, sleeping on the floor — to help bring up a son that may or may not be his. He’s also the same guy who is trying to get back with said ex, even though they have more baggage than O’Hare on Christmas Eve. He’s the same guy who has twice been out with the crazy man-chick who allegedly saved his life. And yes, he’s the same guy who can’t get it up for either of them.

Advice from this guy? Good luck with that one.

You can’t blame Tommy for trying to help. After the Chief’s untimely suicide, Tommy has become the de facto leader of the house, and he proves it by delivering a baby from a woman trapped in the latest fiery hellhole the boys are thrown into.

I like the leadership Tommy shows, but really, how cliché is the baby delivery in a desperate situation? They should’ve just gone the extra mile and had her trapped in an elevator with a crazy bomber trying to kill them or something. I’ll admit I’ve never actually delivered a baby before — let alone in a smoky building — but that lil’ fella sure came out easy.  I mean, really, she didn’t even have to push!

But, I digress. Franco’s not the only one with emotions running high. Poor Mikey’s still dealing with the death of his mother, and the boys show him some respect by holding off on the gay jokes (at least until tomorrow), and everyone is still in shock from Jerry’s unexpected self-inflicted bullet to the head, which is definitely adding undue stress to the entire house. They all deal with it in different ways, but it’s pretty clear that Tommy is the one everyone is looking up to, more than ever.

You can’t help but root for him to make it, too. He’s trying to do the right things. He took the first step in rebuilding a relationship with his daughter — even if it was through bribery. He even went to therapy with Janet, showing he really does want to try to make things work again.

But Tommy, buddy, you gotta do something to get it up before it’s too late. I don’t know much about the ladies, but I do know that they have certain needs — and those needs can’t be satisfied by furniture and spooning alone.