Tuesday, July 17, 2007 Rant Archive
It’s pledge week, and our boy Rusty is learning some quick lessons in his first month at college. Among them:
— It’s OK to ask your brothers for help when you’re in a jam.
— You can mix schoolwork with fraternity life. It just means sometimes you have to cheat a little.
— Classes are never as hard as they appear, so don’t drop them unless you absolutely have to.
— Lastly, and most important, never fall asleep when all of your fraternity brothers are around. Bad things are gonna happen, man.
In poor Rusty’s case, he ends up with a pair of blue feet, a unibrow and — for reasons I’d rather not speculate about — a couple of holes cut in the butt of his pajamas.
Things could’ve been worse. I (vaguely ) remember guys from my fraternity days getting their mattresses thrown out the window — sometimes with them still on them — and one poor pledge bastard getting hog-tied in the middle of the chapter room. But, those were the old days, and this is ABC Family, so Rusty’s hazing is what it is.
Kyle (Matt Dallas) discovers he can now see into the future — as if he didn’t already have enough to deal with.
Even the guidance of Tom Foss (Nicholas Lea) isn’t enough to prepare Kyle for what lies ahead, so he embarks on a mission to find out more about Adam Bailyn’s (J. Eddie Peck) research. Since Adam’s untimely death, Kyle has been left with more questions than answers, and he has to get a handle on his abilities — and all they entail — if he wants to have a family life with the Tragers, which he does, desperately.
Meanwhile, Emily Hollander’s (Leah Cairns) efforts to disrupt the Trager household are beginning to show their effects.
Before Adam died, he was guiding Kyle through the intricacies of his research and teaching him how to harness and control his abilities. Apparently, being able to memorize the encyclopedia and move water around in a glass is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to this kid's mental prowess. Dealing with a new family, hormones and the difficulties of high school life is overwhelming enough; coming to grips with the fact that he’s not an average teenager sometimes leaves Kyle feeling dazed and confused.
Personally, I’m still not sure about this show adding a second clone. It runs the risk of having convoluted story lines and confusing plot twists. And, come on, how many more abilities is Kyle going to get? I get it, he’s been designed to use more of his brain, but he’s still supposed to be human, isn’t he? And, with Adam dying, are we ever going to know the full scope of what he was trying to achieve by creating Kyle? Hopefully, the vision Kyle had of Adam’s office will begin to unravel this mystery.
The best stories are never about what they seem. In the hands of talented actors and writers, even hoary old genres like police procedurals — Sophocles probably cranked out a few between tragedies — can take on new dimensions. That’s where this week’s episode of THE CLOSER goes — stretching beyond the poisoning angle to become an examination of how the elderly are treated in our society. There’s even a stray observation or two about the nature of loyalty, but don’t worry, this ain’t an AFTER SCHOOL SPECIAL.
Deputy Chief Brenda Johnson (Kyra Sedgwick) gets called away from house-shopping with Fritz (Jon Tenney) on a Sunday to look into a report of an old guy (Orson Bean) pushing a dead guy down Hollywood Boulevard. When Provenza (G.W. Bailey) and Johnson start talking to the guy (the living one; this isn’t MEDIUM), who won’t give his name, he spins a story about friends and fellow residents of a particular residence for the elderly dying off from deliberate poisoning. Chief Johnson isn’t buying it at first, but the more she looks into the man, whose name is Donald Baxter, and his story, the more her spider-sense tingles that something isn’t kosher. Meanwhile, Sgt. Gabriel (Corey Reynolds) has returned from his suspension, but relations with Chief Johnson aren’t quite as unthawed as either of them would like.
Now, many shows like to incorporate relevant issues into their episodes now and then and crank out a “very special episode” (ah, one of the new standard clichés) that makes a point, usually with much sermonizing and enough sanctimony to give Pat Boone a woody. The best TV shows — and THE CLOSER is undoubtedly among this august group — take those issues and graft them organically into the story line. They make the issues real people face every day seem like true events instead of a screenwriter’s contrivance.
This week, the narrator informs us in overly-important intonations, Chef Ramsay does something drastic. DRASTIC! Given the track record of the show blowing the mundane completely out of proportion, I’m guessing it is along the lines of the guy saying “please.”
THIS WEEK ON HELL’S KITCHEN!!
We are now at the halfway point in the contest; six chefs have been sent home, and six chefs remain. Reflecting on last week’s eliminated chef, Rock said, “Rock is one person closer to the prize.” Rock is indeed right about Rock, and Rock’s place in the contest. With that sentiment, let’s take a closer look at the remaining contestants...