By Buzz Byrne

This week, the narrator informs us in overly-important intonations, Chef Ramsay does something drastic. DRASTIC! Given the track record of the show blowing the mundane completely out of proportion, I’m guessing it is along the lines of the guy saying “please.”

THIS WEEK ON HELL’S KITCHEN!!
 
We are now at the halfway point in the contest; six chefs have been sent home, and six chefs remain. Reflecting on last week’s eliminated chef, Rock said, “Rock is one person closer to the prize.” Rock is indeed right about Rock, and Rock’s place in the contest. With that sentiment, let’s take a closer look at the remaining contestants.

Jen: Last week, I said this was her game to lose. Despite her weak showing tonight (she blamed Bonnie for a recipe that she, herself, prepared, and she wouldn’t give direction when asked for help by her teammates), I grudgingly agree with my assessment. Jen’s main problem is leadership. She showed big holes in that tonight, but mostly I think she believes this is an individual competition already. That could have hurt her.
 
Bonnie: She has no shot. Zero. Zip. Tonight, she was in charge of checking the supply orders as they came into the restaurant; she accepted salted butter instead of unsalted, snapper with the skin off, and flounder skeletons instead of the fillets. Oh, the humanity! She also tried cooking without her gas on. Bonnie was nominated for elimination, and I told you last week she would be going tonight.
 
Julia: I was sure the clock was striking midnight for this Cinderella; that her inexperience would be her undoing, now that creativity figures so strongly in the competition. In this episode, she got a dish on the menu; it was the most popular and none got sent back. I’m beginning to like the way she is shaping up with an outside chance — that is, if Jen and Rock take each other down.
 
Rock: Rock got called out during the elimination, although not by name. Rock says you should say “Rock” if you are talking about Rock. Rock is an executive chef. Maybe he has always seen Josh for the fraud he is proving to be,  and that is why he has always gone after him. I haven’t seen Rock take control and run his team like Jen did recently. He has hung back and played a defensive game. His skills are top-notch and he has a personality fit to win this.
 
Josh: He is the male Melissa; all bluster and bravado, with nothing to back it up. Josh is a lousy food mechanic. (Rock told him his pan wasn’t hot enough, Josh said it was; it wasn’t, and the result was boiled lamb instead of seared lamb.) He is a useless food artist. In this episode’s reward competition, he made a chicken and pea tendril mess with some sauce that he only described as “highly acidic.” Yum!
 
Brad: I was sure he was the hidden talent — the guy the producers were shying away from. If they focused on him too much, it would be obvious he was the hands-down winner before the game even began. (OK, so I’m not paid for my prediction skills.) Tonight, Chef Ramsay asked Brad if his consommé was flavored. Brad assured him it was. When the dish was sent back, as we knew it would be, Chef sampled it and scolded Brad, saying it tasted like baby vomit. To be fair to Brad, baby vomit is a kind of flavor. Maybe Chef will be more specific in the future, and ask if the dishes are flavored in a way that makes them taste good. When Brad defended himself after being nominated for elimination, he told Chef he was “remotely good.” I think this means that Brad is a fantastic chef, as long as he isn’t in the kitchen.
 
I’ve watched the show. I’ve analyzed the show. For the life of me, I can’t figure out what it was that Chef did in the episode that was “DRASTIC!” That’s the last time I trust an important-sounding voice-over guy. Next week, Julia continues her run of unlikely survival, and it is Josh or Bonnie going home.