By Matthew Wood

Rusty, Rusty, Rusty. You silly little virgin. We need to have a talk. When faced with the opportunity to give your precious gift away to one of the hottest girls on campus, you need to grab the bull by the horns and … well, you know.

Yes, our poor pledge gets his first date ever (!) for the big Kappa Tau party, and the word on the street is Lucy Lawless (or is it Laura … or something that starts with an L) is as sure of a thing as you can get. But, Rusty lets his brain get in the way of his, um, boxers — a cardinal sin for any freshman guy.

Not only is he thinking twice about the first time, but everyone around him is making him think even more — always a bad idea when faced with an opportunity for some sultry sinning.
 
There’s the Bible-toting roommate and his band of merry virgins urging him to take a “purity pledge.” And, he has Casey trying to swoop in to save her little brother from “the Virgin Whisperer,” as she so eloquently puts it.

Of course, Casey might not be the greatest person to give advice about relationships. She continues to try to work things out with cheater beau Evan, but it’s pretty obvious she still has feelings for bad boy Kappa leader Cappie — who just so happens to be Rusty’s mentor.

He’s the one who takes control of Operation Get Rusty Laid after Casey’s failed attempt to clean the kid up and find him a respectable girl. Everyone knows that’s no fun.

But at the end of the day, Rusty makes the right (?) decision and decides to wait. In fact, nobody’s getting any lovin’ this week. Casey and Evan end up cuddling and watching an episode of FRASIER (did anyone else get the reference by Spencer Grammer, who plays Casey, and just happens to be Kelsey Grammer’s daughter?). Zeta sister Ashleigh stays true to her long-distance boyfriend, even though she’s been feeling frisky. And, her new BFF, gay Calvin, isn’t helping matters.

Well, I guess someone’s getting some nookie: The Virgin Whisperer bounces back from Rusty’s rejection quite nicely and takes advantage of some other unsuspecting pledge. Oh, Rusty. That coulda been you.

We’re getting well into the first season, and I must say I’ve been impressed. I really thought the ABC Family element would come out sooner rather than later, rendering it an unrealistic show about unbelievable college characters. But, the risqué levels have been high, and while there are no boob shots or anything, you can’t walk five feet in any of the frat houses without tripping over some couple making out and a lot of heavy petting.

Now, if only our boy Rusty was one of those petters, we would be in business.