August 2007 Entries
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It’s hard to put into words just how stupid BALLS OF FURY truly is. From all appearances, this movie probably sprung into being after the creators smoked a bale of weed and overdosed on chop-socky flicks, up to and including ENTER THE DRAGON. If Uma hadn’t already stolen the yellow suit for KILL BILL, it probably would have shown up here. I would guess the pitch to the studio must have also involved getting baked.
This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. There is a place in any film lover’s heart for gloriously idiotic films, especially when made by smart people who are gleefully aware how insane their material is. BALLS OF FURY definitely falls into this category; the fact that a good chunk of the creative team is involved with RENO 911 should give you a rough idea where the humor is pitched.
Still, if you’re going to go this route, you need to really have the courage of your convictions and go for broke. The real problem with BALLS OF FURY is that it’s too tame. Whether this is a side effect of the studio wanting to keep the golden PG-13 or just that half the script was illegible when the writers sobered up, it’s tough to say. My guess is it’s mostly the writers’ fault, as many of the supposed one-liners seemed a little pale, but given the pucker factor of most Hollywood studios anymore, I wouldn’t bet against the “rewrite by committee” option.
MAD MEN is a difficult show to get a grip on. I don’t mean that in the sense that I don’t understand what’s going on. It’s more that the plot is less important then the subtle changes in tone and dialogue. Everyday things happen, but some tiny tidbit is revealed and relations between characters roll forward towards clarity or backwards away from it, just a little bit. It’s pretty deep stuff, and makes the show more of a grower then a show-er.
We are used to shows that offer a lot of bang; LOST, HEROES, even THE SOPRANOS, which is what Matthew Weiner, the creator of MAD MEN cut his teeth on. It’s not that there weren’t subtleties in THE SOPRANOS; there were: The home décor at casa de la Soprano, Carmela’s condescending greeting, “What’s going on your little part of the world?” come to mind. But there was usually a bang. Of course there was - it was a show about the mafia.
I sit before you confused. The only conclusion I can draw about the current state of BIG BROTHER Season 8 is that it has finally crossed into postmodern territory. French philosopher Jean-Francois Lyotard defined postmodernism when, “The narrative function is losing its functors, its great hero, its great dangers, its great voyages, its great goal. It is being dispersed in clouds of narrative language elements--narrative, but also denotative, prescriptive, descriptive, and so on...Where, after the metanarratives, can legitimacy reside?”
Like you, I don’t know what most of that means but to me it feels like I watch BIG BROTHER now and I’m sure someone is having a laugh at my expense and I can’t catch the joke. Nobody is likable. All remaining contestants are sloppy excuses for human beings and yet I watch…three times a week. I realized I’m rooting for a giant meteor to come and wipe out the whole production. And then the meteor will get up and go after the creators and producers who green lit this show along the way. And then the meteor will come and get me.
Just when you thought they wouldn't really do it ... they did. That's right, ALIENS VS. PREDATOR 2. Or rather, ALIENS VS. PREDATOR: REQUIEM, as it's now called.
You can check out the trailer at Bloody Disgusting (which is appropriately named, let me tell you) and head back here to rant about it. Tell us what you thought. What you liked, and didn't like. Personally, I noticed a whole bunch of Ripley/Newt moments going on with that one woman and her kid. She even sort of looks like Sigourney Weaver from the first movie. Coincidence? Probably not.
Let's compare notes: In the first movie, the crew hears a distress signal and goes to check it out. In this one, a spaceship crash lands on earth and they go to check it out. So, people meddling where they shouldn't be? Check. Next, you've got inexperienced people running around like crazy and getting picked off one by one. Only this time it's not only by Aliens, it's by the Predators as well. But, this is an Aliens vs. Predator movie, so you've probably come to expect all that.
The Beckham’s American invasion continues.
ABC has confirmed the widely circulated rumor that Victoria, Posh Spice, Beckham will make an appearance on this season’s UGLY BETTY. Mrs. Beckham will be playing herself as a bridesmaid in Wilhelmina’s (Vanessa Williams) upcoming wedding. This is perfect casting, if you ask me. American’s have already gotten a taste of soccer star, David Beckham’s, wife, with her brief stint in Reality TV earlier this summer, and from what I saw, she’s funny enough, wacky enough and overly glamorous enough to keep up with UGLY BETTY’S crazy, character driven cast. It looks as if Victoria wants to make sure she’s as well known to us yanks as her famous husband is.
Of course, anybody who was into pop music in the 90s, knows exactly who this songbird is. Victoria was the posh in the Spice Girls sensation of the early and mid 1990s. Perhaps this stint on American TV is her way of putting the group back into the consciousness of the people, as they are planning a reunion tour sometime this winter. Whatever her reasons may be, Victoria is getting almost more airtime than her husband, who has injured himself again, and may not be able to play for The Galaxy for a couple of months.
Man, I love the Gavin family. Who else would start their own Alcoholics Anonymous group, then start cheating off each other while going through the steps? That’s some good ol’ dysfunctional family fun.
But for Tommy Gavin (Denis Leary) that’s just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to messed up relationships. Take his love life, for example. He’s been “dating” two chicks: One is a seriously deranged sex fiend who just now told him her name (Valerie, apparently). The other is the chief’s daughter, a bi-polar mess who is … well, she’s just messed up.
He sees both of them this week, but neither is very fruitful. Poor bastard, he’s just trying to have a normal relationship – or at least some normal sex. Yeah Tommy , don’t we all.
You have to appreciate a simple title like WAR. And while I wouldn’t call this a war movie, the film does live up to its simple yet bad ass label. The antithesis of a chick flick, WAR places Jason Statham as FBI Special Agent Jack Crawford and Jet Li as hitman-for-hire Rogue in the middle of a gangland power struggle in San Francisco. That should be all a man has to know. If you’ve seen any of the TRANSPORTER movies, you know Statham is an especially talented fighter. And further entries such as CRANK and SNATCH have cemented the guy as a true hard ass. He can almost hold his own against Jet Li, which is no small feat in and of itself.
Li is on a level all his own, but since he already fought himself (in a favorite guilty pleasure of mine, 2001’s THE ONE), Statham is at least a competent opponent (Jet Li is 47, after all). This isn’t RUSH HOUR. You won’t be wishing scrawny, annoying Chris Tucker would catch a beating just once instead of improbably keeping pace with his Asian counterpart (okay, Jackie Chan is 53). If the flying and magic of Li’s wuxia films is not your cup of tea, then this is the movie you’ve been waiting for. Instead, WAR is a frothy concoction of guns, swords and double-crosses sure to tide any action fan over for at least a little while. Unfortunately, the film does little to separate itself from the pack.
The title refers to the escalating hostilities between Japanese gangs the Triad and the Yakuza. Rogue, a legendary killer once employed by Triad boss Shiro (Ryo Ishibashi), has just resurfaced in San Francisco after a three-year absence. The last time anyone heard of him, he had murdered Crawford’s partner and his partner’s family. Dead-set on vengeance, Crawford descends into the fray not looking to quash a gang war but to get his hands on Rogue – who for his part has lived up to his name by playing both sides and inciting a full-blown war in the streets. Anyone familiar with Kurosawa’s YOJIMBO (or its 1996 Bruce Willis remake LAST MAN STANDING) knows what I’m talking about. The action is fast and bloody. The plot, though not brilliant, is involved enough to keep your interest through the 103-minute running time. The filmmakers know what’s putting people in the seats and I personally appreciated the old school action feel.
Jason Alexander is getting a guest shot on Julia Louis-Dreyfus’s THE NEW ADVENTURES OF OLD CHRISTINE. This is clearly a wonderful gesture on the part of Ms. Dreyfus, who sees the rampant unemployment of her former co-workers at SEINFELD, and single-handedly has taken it upon herself to get them off the welfare roles. But her choice of co-star is counter-intuitive.
But first the history: Towards the end of the run of SEINFELD, someone in the cast angered a Gypsy woman. We don’t know what transpired and truth be told we have no absolute proof that anything actually occurred. But how else can you explain the SEINFELD curse, which has become legend in the entertainment industry? It precludes anyone associated with the show from enjoying success. With the exception of the show’s star, who has pretty much become a recluse while working on his new film, BEES, the principal players have become the anti-MIDAS, turning everything they touch into ca-ca.
VERONICA MARS and KEVIN SMITH fans ... you've got something to smile about.
Kristen Bell – who played a perky teenage super sleuth on VERONICA MARS – will be joining the cast of HEROES for a multiepisode arc, this season. This – combined with the recent announcement that Kevin Smith will write and direct an episode of prequel series HEROES: ORIGINS – only makes the anticipation for the upcoming season even more exciting than it already was. We don’t know yet whether Kristen will be on the side of good or evil but, “she’ll play a sexy, intriguing, mysterious young lady named Elle,” according to NBC execs. Adding fresh new blood and talent will help keep this Sci-Fi drama from going stale like some of it’s counterparts. Perhaps this new character will be the alter ego of fan favorite, Claire (Hayden Panettiere.) In fact, this ensemble show has an edge over others – when it comes to adding new characters – because of their theme.
Some years ago, I worked in tech support with a guy who was well-respected within the company as a capable technician, despite his not being terribly interested in computers or geek culture. When asked about his success in the field, he said that because he wasn’t all that experienced or tech-oriented, he always stuck with the basics of troubleshooting, and often ended up solving more issues than the techs who lived and breathed computers. The lesson here seems pretty straightforward, and it’s one that Sheriff Jack Carter (Colin Ferguson) and the rest of Eureka get a taste of this week.
Much to Carter’s dismay, there’s a new scientist in town, a young punk named Zane whose felony record is almost as impressive as his scientific accomplishments. Zane’s arrival in town coincides with an ambitious experiment to recreate the Big Bang in a controlled laboratory environment. Considering the past track record of other experiments, this would seem to be a tremendously bad idea, but progress often flies in the face of common sense, right?