By Buzz Byrne

The one positive I take from America’s Weasely Doofus Player Eric staying in the game is that I don’t have to follow through on switching my TV affections from Jen to Daniele.

BIG BROTHER is garlic slathered, fresh herb encrusted, perfectly prepared tripe and it proved this week why it is such fun-to-eat innards. Dick and Daniele figured out that America’s Doofus was the weasel in the game so they set about getting him out despite needing to flip to their side one more member of the LNC (Late Night Crew- and by the way, any group that comes up with a cool nickname for their dumb alliance needs to be sent back to Elementary School to learn some social skills). Their first target was Jessica and it looked like the worst play they could make because she immediately ran to her weasel buddy and spilled the plan.

But Evel Dick brought my dopey shnook-ums into the fold and got her to confirm, be the second source for the rumors he was sending out. Jessica started to sway. But her LNCers were steadfast that Eric was not the double dealing voter. Dustin and Jameka especially. They knew this was their chance to strike back at Daniele and Dick while they still had the numbers. This was going to be the chief factor in decision making that culminated with the least masculine celebration in the history of TV. With Jameka, Jessica, Eric and Dustin hopping around about a victory, the closest thing to a Y chromosome in the bunch is one of Amber’s imagined baby boys.

Jessica wasn’t the only avenue Dick worked to flip a LNC member. Fresh off of promising to vote out Kail on the life of her daughter, Dick caught up with Amber between mood swings and doled out a tidbit that Eric shared during week one. Amber, coming down from some medication withdrawal, confided in the Doofus that she was less than truthful with her boyfriend about a few pregnancies. Heavy stuff. Doofus told Dick he had this amazing dirt on Amber and was keeping it in his back pocket. Dick shared this strategy with Amber and she quickly hit the upside of manic depression.

First she went to her puppeteer/ally Dustin and said he had to get rid of Eric, what with her having sworn on her daughter’s life and God being a take-it-or-leave-it guy, she wasn’t about to renege to him so it was up to Dustin to get the weasel gone. Dustin disagreed, then agreed, and then went back to practicing saying “Girlfriend!” the way he imagined Jameka would say it. Anything to get Amber and her Wellbutrin spawned frothing out of his face.

Amber wasn’t satisfied and blew the whole thing up in front everybody. She questioned Eric’s ownership of male genitalia, she called him the devil and nobody left free of spittle. At least Amber’s not crying anymore.

So now I am giddy, drunk with the backbiting and ready for the Doofus to get his comeuppance. But then the producers stick in the obligatory fluff piece on Dick and his Hollywood rock scene pals. It isn’t until minute thirty three of tonight’s episode when they finally let Eric speak. He is making his appeal before the live vote and something in the way he’s talking suggests he is humble and ready to make amends.

Hmmm. Not the tone of someone who is going home with a leather boot stuck in his keister. The votes come down. Jessica votes to evict Kail. Okay, so they didn’t flip her. Jameka votes to evict Kail. Alright, she’s close to God like Amber is close to pity parties and that whole “Evel Dick” thing has always bothered her. Dustin votes to evict Kail and now I am up and swearing at the TV. “You promised to vote him out, you liar!” I scream, sounding more like Amber the louder I get. “I pulled off the highway and rented a hotel room so I could watch Eric get evicted and then gloat about it on the internet and you losers are not making me happy!”

My wife threatens to get another room. I tell her criticsrant will probably be more than happy to spring for it, just keep the kids out of the minibar.

When Julie Chen told the houseguests that Kail was evicted, Dick just walked away. He was stunned and had been double crossed. So was I, Dick, so was I. At least you’re not in a Clarion outside of Buffalo.

The question remains whether Dustin told Amber the deal. This might fracture their bond and the sturdy numbers of the LNC might not be so strong. I still have my Jen in the game and it is way too early to count Daniele out. Dick may be sent packing this week and that would be too bad but Dustin can’t remain strong when one of his main allies has to sit out HOH competitions.

Tripe is always going to be cow guts but that doesn’t mean it can’t be the tastiest thing on the menu.