Thursday, August 23, 2007 Rant Archive
TV Guide broke the news that Paul Reubens, of Pee Wee Herman fame, will have a possible recurring role as “a traveling homeopathic antidepressant representative/salesman" Pushing Daisies is a new ABC Fantasy, comedy, romance show airing this fall. The concept involves a “young man with a very special gift … the ability to return someone dead briefly back to life with a simple touch.” The show was created by Barry Sonnenfeld, of Get Shorty and Men in Black fame. Writer-Producer Bryan Fuller comes from Heroes, Wonderfalls, and Dead Like Me.
It will be great to see Reubens back. He’s a great talent and has been off the radar for far too long.
The Trailer for “I’m Not There” is finally out, and worth viewing. I first caught a glimse of Cate Blanchett as Bob Dylan a couple of months ago when I viewed a scene of Dylan with Alan Ginsberg, who is played by David Cross, from HBO’s Mr. Show and Arrested Development. Ok, Blanchett as Dylan, I get it. Great marketing.
But Cross is as Ginsberg is what caught my eye. I love his comedy and was a big fan of Arrested Development. I have to say he actually seems to pull it off, and keeps is weird too.
Check out Blancett as Dylan and Cross as Ginsberg.
Reality TV can be fun, aggravating and compelling especially if the “Human drama” that it lies and tells us is real is framed nicely enough around something the audience can relate to. ANCHORWOMAN is silly, self-aware and mildly fun. If we are resting our hopes of restating and committing the media to true journalistic standards on a reality TV show, well, all hope is gone and not even a “Barker’s Beauty” is going to bring it back.
Former WWE Diva and bit player on LAST CALL WITH CARSON DALY, Lauren Jones is changing professions. She is giving up life as a hot chick to now be a hot chick on a reality TV show where she pretends to want to be an anchorwoman for a local news station in Tyler, Texas.
Jones tells us she always wanted to be a journalist and quickly it becomes apparent her view of the scope of that job is being pretty for the camera and saying serious things. Much like dramatic acting only you don’t have to memorize the lines or cry on command. And while it is obvious we are to laugh at her dimness, her assessment isn’t that far off the mark. When News Director Dan and Anchor/Reporter/Producer Annalisa start tossing out their litany of self-important words (“Integrity” “Credibility” and “Standard”) you need only remember that they share show credit with “Stormy the Weather Dog.” And that is before Lauren arrives in Tyler.
See, this is why recovering alcoholics are so lame. They get all high and mighty and start believing in God and all that crap. Oh, and they’re no fun at all at parties. The Gavin family is no different, as they discuss their spirituality at the first family Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. Of course, that ends in a big family brawl, but I guess that’s to be expected with this clan. They certainly set the bar low in terms of family values.
And you know Tommy’s gotta get his two cents in, as he does so eloquently in a classic Tommy diatribe to the boys at the house. “There ain’t enough God to go around here,” he laments. He’s got a point – it ain’t easy to be a life-saver. But you don’t see God going around complaining about it, do you?
But I digress. And so does Tommy, as he ends up sitting on the other side of a confession booth as he tries to find some clarity at church. His advice to a wayward young lady who has unknowingly confessed her sins to an alcoholic firefighter (and not a priest): Say a Hail Mary – but only the last part. He never could remember the last couple lines.
As if we weren’t feeling pious enough, the big man upstairs comes into play even more as Lou barely avoids a falling piece of burning building, just as he tells Tommy, “May God strike me down.” Good timing, Lou.
Well, tonight we got a “second helping” of the restaurant wars. The contestants did such a poor job last week that they were all given a second chance to prove themselves worthy of the title Top Chef this week. I don’t know if I would want that on my resume, but then again, they were only given 24 hours – and in some cases – less than enthusiastic restaurant partners to create magic, so I guess we can’t expect miracles. That being said, it seemed as if the food wasn’t even up to par. At this point in the competition, I would expect to see the judges salivating at all the tantalizing treats put before them. At one point, it seemed as if somebody put a raw tarantula in front of Ted and forced him to eat it.
But there was more to tonight’s episode of TOP CHEF than sloppy leftovers from last week’s show. The contestants were thrown into a relay race of cooking, in the Quickfire Challenge. Watching Howie continuously be forced to act as a team player is just pure entertainment. I swear he’d have pulled all of his hair out by now, if he had any to begin with. This is one guy that has to be in control, and having to put his fate in his competition’s hands kills him. I know this, because it’s written all over his face week after week. No wonder he sweats so much. It would actually be funny, if it weren’t so gross. Whether Howie wins remains to be seen, but he will definitely be one reality TV personality I remember, if for no other reason than the extra special sauce he adds to all his food.
Life offers many gifts. Sadly, THE ULTIMATE GIFT isn’t one of them. Bring it back to the returns department.
According to THE ULTIMATE GIFT, the most important things anyone can possess are love, family, friendship and an appreciation for hard work. Not to minimize the value of all that, but I truly have THE ULTIMATE GIFT for you, something not even hinted at in the film: time. I will save you two hours of your life. That may not mean much now, but ignore my advice and lying on your death bed, gasping for just a few extra moments, you will say: “I should have heeded that wise man and not bothered to rent the dumb movie.” But then it’s too late. So listen to me now. It’s not just that THE ULTIMATE GIFT has a cliché for a story line and matchstick thin characters. Lots of movies have that. It’s that THE ULTIMATE GIFT doesn’t even make an effort. It’s a stupid film that insults your intelligence and won’t stand up to the scrutiny of a five-year old.
Then to add insult to intellectual injury, the producers use one of the DVD’s features to sell THE ULTIMATE GIFT gift set. How mercenary can you get? THE ULTIMATE GIFT is a product of Fox Faith. That’s a new faith-based production company formed in the aftermath of The Passion of the Christ largely in the correct belief that Evangelicals go to movies and the incorrect if-you-build-it-they-will-come belief that all you have to do is mention Jesus and say you’re against abortion and you have a winning film.
Do not rent this film if you are a government employee, particularly if you work at the DMV. But for the rest of us who can appreciate the occasional stupid joke in a stupid film, KICKIN’ IT OLD SKOOL will provide more than a few belly laughs.
There may be some of you out there too young to remember that time before there was an Internet, when you actually had to go to a video store to get porn. Not that I ever did, of course. But people tell me that to keep anyone from seeing what they were renting, they’d cover Boudoir Baby with a legitimate film, preferably something by Bergman.
This came to mind when considering KICKIN’ IT OLD SKOOL. If I were renting this DVD today, I’d probably cover it with porn. Frankly, I’d prefer people see me with Lickin’ It Old Skool rather than a stupid film about break dancing that was released just four months ago. Break dancing, do you believe it? In 2007? I’m here to tell you I was partially wrong. Oh this movie is stupid, all right. But it is funny stupid, a guilty pleasure. Please don’t tell anyone.
Twelve-year-old Justin Schumacher (Alexander Calvert) leads a break dance group called the Funky Fresh Boyz. He has a crush on classmate Jennifer Stone and competition (in both break dancing and matters of the heart) from an obnoxious Kip Unger. To assure victory, Justin does a difficult move and back flip, but misses the stage. He winds up in a coma. But don’t worry; this is a comedy.
Transformers director Michael Bay has jumped in the middle of the hi-def DVD format wars. As you may know, the backers of Blu-ray and HD-DVD are entrenching themselves by going exclusive with certain studios. Apparently a big payoff of $150 million went to Paramount/Dreamworks for the exclusive use of HD-DVD.
Well, apparently Bay got wind of this from some pals that dig Blu-tay. After s few cocktails Bay, not known for being calm and collected, wrote on his blog (
michaelbay.com) that he was not doing Transformers 2 because it won’t be on Blu-ray.
Then on 8/21, he brushed off his hangover, watched 300 on HD-DVD and fell in love with the format.
“Last night at dinner I was having dinner with three Blu-ray owners, they were pissed about no Transformers Blu-ray and I drank the kool aid hook line and sinker. So at 1:30 in the morning I posted - nothing good ever comes out of early am posts mind you - I over reacted. I heard where Paramount is coming from and the future of HD and players that will be close to the $200 mark which is the magic number. I like what I heard. As a director, I'm all about people seeing films in the best quality possible, and I saw and heard firsthand people upset about a corporate decision. So today I saw 300 on HD, it rocks! So I think I might be back on to do Transformers 2! Michael Bay”