Thursday, August 30, 2007 Rant Archive
Just when you thought they wouldn't
really do it ... they did. That's right, ALIENS VS. PREDATOR 2. Or rather, ALIENS VS. PREDATOR: REQUIEM, as it's now called.
You can check out the trailer at
Bloody Disgusting (which is appropriately named, let me tell you) and head back here to rant about it. Tell us what you thought. What you liked, and didn't like. Personally, I noticed a whole bunch of Ripley/Newt moments going on with that one woman and her kid. She even sort of looks like Sigourney Weaver from the first movie. Coincidence? Probably not.
Let's compare notes: In the first movie, the crew hears a distress signal and goes to check it out. In this one, a spaceship crash lands on earth and they go to check it out. So, people meddling where they shouldn't be? Check. Next, you've got inexperienced people running around like crazy and getting picked off one by one. Only this time it's not only by Aliens, it's by the Predators as well. But, this is an Aliens vs. Predator movie, so you've probably come to expect all that.
The Beckham’s American invasion continues.
ABC has confirmed the widely circulated rumor that Victoria, Posh Spice, Beckham will make an appearance on this season’s UGLY BETTY. Mrs. Beckham will be playing herself as a bridesmaid in Wilhelmina’s (Vanessa Williams) upcoming wedding. This is perfect casting, if you ask me. American’s have already gotten a taste of soccer star, David Beckham’s, wife, with her brief stint in Reality TV earlier this summer, and from what I saw, she’s funny enough, wacky enough and overly glamorous enough to keep up with UGLY BETTY’S crazy, character driven cast. It looks as if Victoria wants to make sure she’s as well known to us yanks as her famous husband is.
Of course, anybody who was into pop music in the 90s, knows exactly who this songbird is. Victoria was the posh in the Spice Girls sensation of the early and mid 1990s. Perhaps this stint on American TV is her way of putting the group back into the consciousness of the people, as they are planning a reunion tour sometime this winter. Whatever her reasons may be, Victoria is getting almost more airtime than her husband, who has injured himself again, and may not be able to play for The Galaxy for a couple of months.
Man, I love the Gavin family. Who else would start their own Alcoholics Anonymous group, then start cheating off each other while going through the steps? That’s some good ol’ dysfunctional family fun.
But for Tommy Gavin (Denis Leary) that’s just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to messed up relationships. Take his love life, for example. He’s been “dating” two chicks: One is a seriously deranged sex fiend who just now told him her name (Valerie, apparently). The other is the chief’s daughter, a bi-polar mess who is … well, she’s just messed up.
He sees both of them this week, but neither is very fruitful. Poor bastard, he’s just trying to have a normal relationship – or at least some normal sex. Yeah Tommy , don’t we all.
You have to appreciate a simple title like WAR. And while I wouldn’t call this a war movie, the film does live up to its simple yet bad ass label. The antithesis of a chick flick, WAR places Jason Statham as FBI Special Agent Jack Crawford and Jet Li as hitman-for-hire Rogue in the middle of a gangland power struggle in San Francisco. That should be all a man has to know. If you’ve seen any of the TRANSPORTER movies, you know Statham is an especially talented fighter. And further entries such as CRANK and SNATCH have cemented the guy as a true hard ass. He can almost hold his own against Jet Li, which is no small feat in and of itself.
Li is on a level all his own, but since he already fought himself (in a favorite guilty pleasure of mine, 2001’s THE ONE), Statham is at least a competent opponent (Jet Li is 47, after all). This isn’t RUSH HOUR. You won’t be wishing scrawny, annoying Chris Tucker would catch a beating just once instead of improbably keeping pace with his Asian counterpart (okay, Jackie Chan is 53). If the flying and magic of Li’s wuxia films is not your cup of tea, then this is the movie you’ve been waiting for. Instead, WAR is a frothy concoction of guns, swords and double-crosses sure to tide any action fan over for at least a little while. Unfortunately, the film does little to separate itself from the pack.
The title refers to the escalating hostilities between Japanese gangs the Triad and the Yakuza. Rogue, a legendary killer once employed by Triad boss Shiro (Ryo Ishibashi), has just resurfaced in San Francisco after a three-year absence. The last time anyone heard of him, he had murdered Crawford’s partner and his partner’s family. Dead-set on vengeance, Crawford descends into the fray not looking to quash a gang war but to get his hands on Rogue – who for his part has lived up to his name by playing both sides and inciting a full-blown war in the streets. Anyone familiar with Kurosawa’s YOJIMBO (or its 1996 Bruce Willis remake LAST MAN STANDING) knows what I’m talking about. The action is fast and bloody. The plot, though not brilliant, is involved enough to keep your interest through the 103-minute running time. The filmmakers know what’s putting people in the seats and I personally appreciated the old school action feel.