Tuesday, September 04, 2007 Rant Archive
As are most horror films, the 2007 adaptation of HALLOWEEN is critic-proof. The type of person who enjoys director Rob Zombie knows what he is in store for: gratuitous violence, rampant sexuality and a general layer of filth smeared over the entire thing. Seriously readers, save time after this one for a long shower because this movie is dirty. But if you are a Rob Zombie fan, you already knew that.
What makes HALLOWEEN interesting is watching how Zombie works in the famous Michael Myers mythology while staying true to his trademark exploitation. The differences between Carpenter’s slasher/thriller and Zombie’s depraved romp are apparent from the get-go.
Where Carpenter's version began with a quick run-through of young Michael's massacre of his family, Zombie dedicates the entire first hour of his film to exploring the little boy's psyche. We get to know his family. His sorry excuse for a father figure is, as expected, an abusive drunk who regularly calls Michael a "faggot." Michael's mother (played by Zombie’s wife, Sheri Moon Zombie) is a weathered-looking stripper who works a lot but is at least a loving parent when she is with her son. Michael's oldest sister, we learn, is little more than a bratty sex-fiend.
The couple that works together stays together. That must be the mantra of newlyweds, Rebecca Romijn and Jerry O’Connell. Jerry, who did a guest spot last season on then fiancé, Rebecca’s, show, UGLY BETTY, is starring in a new comedy this Fall called CARPOOLERS. Word is that his wife, the lovely model turned actress Rebecca, will be returning the favor by appearing in at least
one episode of his show this season. She will be playing – of all things – his ex-wife.
Oddly enough, Jerry played a cad who hit on Alexis (Rebecca Romijn) to win a bet with his equally jerky buddies, on UGLY BETTY. Perhaps the honeymooners are working out their aggression on screen, so they don’t have to at home. Either way, I say bravo. I’m all for nepotism, especially when the parties involved are talented and bring something interesting to the table, as these two do. There’s definite chemistry there, and they both seem to have a quirky side that comes out in their acting, which adds to the flavor of any scene. While working together on a daily basis may not be a wise choice, a guest spot here and there seems healthy enough, and good for the viewers who get a ringside seat to the entertainment. Considering how obvious it is that these two are madly in love with each other in real life, it’s a smart twist to show them portraying the flip side of love on TV.
CALIFORNICATION has gotten better as Hank Moody’s (David Duchovny) mojo returns. In fact, this latest episode blew me away on many levels.
The show’s premise is that Moody, a successful New York novelist moved to California after his book was purchased by a studio. In his mind at least the film that came out of it was a load of crap. Maybe it was the film, maybe it was California, maybe it was losing his longtime girlfriend and their daughter, but somewhere along the way Hank lost his desire and/or ability to write. So he’s been kind of vegetating, compensating by bedding women left and right.
It’s a great idea for a show, but one that could easily go south. At some point, Moody could have transformed from a sympathetic figure to a loser, and who wants to watch a show about a loser? Fortunately that hasn’t happened. While he still isn’t writing novels, Hank has begun to blog and that alone has added a positive aura around him.
It’s important because the success of CALIFORNICATION really rests on Moody’s appeal. And he certainly is appealing. Women find him irresistible. What man hasn’t imagined that happening? I mean you of course. I don’t have to imagine.
He’s a man’s man. When he learns some a-hole called his former girlfriend the “C” word, Hank decks him. What guy hasn’t dreamt of doing that? Again I mean you.
TORCHWOOD is a spin-off of the immensely popular BBC sci-fi drama DOCTOR WHO; so right of the bat, I think I’m at a disadvantage. I’ve never seen DOCTOR WHO, so I don’t know this world, these characters, nothing. After watching the first ten minutes of the pilot, I realized that my supposed disadvantage was really working for me.
The show opens with a murder in Cardiff, and WPC Gwen Cooper (Eve Myles) shows up in the pouring rain to help investigate. All of a sudden, everyone clears out for the “special ops” team Torchwood. Gwen is confused. Who are these people? Why are they messing with the crime scene? Instead of standing by like a good little cop, she goes in for a better look and sees the team resurrect the murder victim with a metal glove that looks straight out of a King Arthur tale. From that point, we follow Gwen as she tries to learn more about Captain Jack Harkness (John Barrowman) and his “special ops” team.
The episode is completely told from Gwen’s point of view, hence my reasoning that my disadvantage became an advantage. I was on the exact same page as Gwen, and honestly, this was the only thing that kept me interested. If I had been an avid DOCTOR WHO fan, I think I may have lost interest after Gwen’s second mysterious encounter with the group. Alas, I knew nothing of the secret organization Torchwood that’s “separate from the government, outside the police and beyond the United Nations,” and every time Gwen got a little closer to finding out more, I got a little more intrigued.
Now that Kyle (Matt Dallas) and Jessi (Jaimie Alexander) have finally figured out they are connected in ways nobody else can understand, they have embarked on a journey to find out who they are and why they were created in the first place. Kyle’s refusal to write Jessi off has hurt and angered his new family, but being the good guy that he is, he can’t turn his back on her, even though it is now common knowledge that it was Jessi who attacked Kyle’s sister, Lori (April Matson.) Meanwhile, the Trager clan is on a mission of their own: They are sifting through everything they know about Kyle, in order to find out who – and what – he really is.
It’s never been a secret that Kyle is different, and the Trager family has had a front-row-seat to his bizarre abilities. But, thanks to Madacorp meddling into their lives, they have come to realize that Kyle may be more than just a sweet kid with a hard-luck past. Honestly, I don’t know why it’s taken them this long to figure out there’s something fishy going on. I mean it’s not normal for somebody to spout off mathematical equations the way he does, least of all a 17-year-old boy. And, getting visions from the dead and nearly dead … not usually a gift most Mensa members have.
Sisterhood is tested, when the coveted title of Omega Chi Sweetheart is at stake. Let’s face it, friends are great, but being named one the hottest fraternity’s sweetheart stays with you for a lifetime. At least that’s what Casey (Spencer Grammer) believes. I mean if she didn’t, she wouldn’t be having such a difficult time going up against one of her closest friends. The best way out of a situation like that is to shine brighter than your opponent, rather than try and take her down, otherwise, you’ll just end up in the dirt with her. But, this is college, and these lessons haven’t been learned as of yet. So, what’s a nice girl to do … spread a nasty rumor perhaps? That doesn’t seem like Casey’s style, but that doesn’t mean she can’t get caught up in the competition anyway. And now that her previously nerdy brother, Rusty (Jacob Zachar), is beginning to get some game, he’s learning how difficult it is to get rid of a clingy friend himself.
This whole being cool things is new to Rusty, so it isn’t exactly in his nature to blow off somebody weaker than himself, especially when you consider the fact that up until now, he has been the weakest link. But, with things looking up in his social life, Rusty needs to cut the dead weight, and sadly, Dale (Clark Duke) has become just that. It isn’t just the fact that Rusty wants to hang out with the cooler kids, he’s a busy guy now what with having a girlfriend and all. Grades have to be upheld, girlfriends have to be satisfied, you can see where the poor guy is coming from. Not to mention, he is starting to get a taste of the wild college life kids dream about. It appears that tonight’s installment of GREEK is all about friendship, and whether or not they are more important than climbing the social ladder. But, this brother and sister team is good at heart, so I have faith they’ll do the right thing in the end.