By Buzz Byrne

In the classic archetype of “Goofus and Gallant,” SURVIVOR has done its part to add this dynamic to popular culture. Author Tami Cowden tells us, “The word "archetype" was coined by Carl Jung, who theorized that humans have a collective unconscious,  "deposits of the constantly repeated experiences of humanity.... a kind of readiness to reproduce over and over again the same or similar mythical ideas....”

With that in mind, it seems that each season of SURVIVOR has one chugging team; a group that fights and churns and works and, most importantly, wins. And then there is the other team that can’t help but defecate in their crosstrainers while their fire burns out as they lose reward and immunity challenge after reward and immunity challenge.

So has it been, so is it now, so shall it be.

After booting “Chicken” last week for having not just a stupid nickname but a dull one, team Zhan Hu needed a leader. Former model turned flabby control freak Dave stepped forward. His reign was peaceful and prosperous for all of twenty three minutes. That’s when he decided the team should spend three days building a fire pit instead of eating or sleeping dryly.


The only problem at Fei Long was that poker player Jean-Robert was taking too many naps for alpha dog/surfer Aaron’s liking. Jean-Robert claims this is his strategy, and good luck to him; at least he’s guaranteed to work hard in the immunity challenge. He better hope they don’t lose before some other whackjob steps up and goes loopy from the stress and the tribe sends them packing, because his strategy puts a target on his back during a point in the game when most players are hanging back. Not that it looks like Fei Long is going to lose a challenge …ever.

They walked over Zhan Hu in the reward challenge; a sort of full contact, giant wooden ball mud soccer. This game featured blood, boobs and buttcracks. Fei Long got fishing gear and a boat. And host Jeff Probst introduced the Exile Island replacement gimmick: kidnapping. The winning team picked a member of the losing tribe to come live with them until the next challenge. The victim was given a secret clue to the whereabouts of the hidden immunity idol that they had to give to one member of their temporary tribe.

Jaime was the victim and she gave her clue to who she thought was the weakest- Hi Leslie! She in turn shared her only hope of staying in the game long term with soon-to-be-Uber-weasel Todd. Nice move.

The concept of the kidnapping is to get people interacting as opposed to what Exile Island did. Seems useless right now, just another way to facilitate the hidden immunity idol. Ho-hum. If the producers are really going to figure out how to adjust the game to reverse the sagging ratings, this doesn’t seem like the way.


After hauling most of the stones for his “Inferno,” Dave nearly passed out in the middle of the immunity challenge from exhaustion. This certainly didn’t help Zhan Hu win, but it did help them lose. Again. He set himself up nicely to get the axe but the vote came down to him and WWE wrestler Ashley. As a side note, why that tribe couldn’t rest away from the rain under her prodigious and gravity defying chest is beyond me. She even has tarpaulin fasteners in her lips! Despite her pluses and Dave’s minuses, the tribe stuck with their man and Ashley got the boot. Who knew a WWE wrestler would be a pain in the ass to live with? They seem well adjusted.

The enjoyable part of the “winning tribe versus the constantly losing tribe” setup is that it usually takes one trip to tribal council to even things up and rattle the cocky (always winning) group. That’s fun to watch. I say if Fei Long takes one good punch to the mouth, they are coming apart.