By Buzz Byrne
House (Hugh Laurie) has to find three new members for his team but can he narrow the field of forty prospects, save the Air Force Captain who suddenly suffers from synethstesia, and rationalize his sudden visions of his former staff?
Of course he can and if he can’t it’s because no one can. We don’t watch HOUSE M.D. for the suspense or really even the medical drama; that stuff has been covered in the TV landscape. We watch HOUSE M.D. for the superior acting and the writing as it regards human nature as well as the nature of humans…and House.
This Air Force officer wants to be an astronaut. She can’t let NASA know she is “Hearing with her eyes.” So she goes to House, explains her plight and drops a few bricks of cash on his desk to cover the expenses off the record. House turns this over to his forty prospects to see who can pass his ever-changing tests. Some excel, like getting a solid polish on his car, while others flounder (note to self- don’t use a defibrillator in a hyperbolic chamber…BOOM!).
In the midst of this, House catches a fleeting glimpse of fired staffer Chase (Jesse Spencer). He checks with pal Dr. Wilson (Robert Sean Leonard) to see why Chase is roaming the halls, only to be informed that Chase is working in Arizona at the Mayo clinic. Wilson opines that House is suffering guilt for driving his former team away in such a House-like manner.
Paring down his number from forty appears positively arbitrary and much of it is, but House does promise immunity to whoever works up the correct diagnosis. Next week’s preview showed tribal torches. Check out last week’s rant from yours truly to see who predicted the reality TV angle. Thank God somebody is making fun of that genre. See, now I just pulled something patting myself on the back.
The patient, meanwhile, has another onset of synethstesia, freaks out and locks herself in the hospital chapel. Dr. Cuddy (Lisa Edelstein…mrow!) discovers the plot and House catches a glimpse of Dr. Cameron (Jennifer Morrison). Hmm! Is House seeing things? He doesn’t even consider that possibility at this point. They do figure out that there are tumors on the patients lungs and to treat that they have to open her up which would mean scars which would mean the end of her dream of being an astronaut. Whew!
To solve this dilemma they elect to, what else, give her breast implants or “Chesticles” as House so fondly calls them. Good cover story for the scars. They remove the tumors, add the plastic beanbags and find the cause of her problems with the help of Dr.Chase (he really is there!). It is a condition that could reoccur and it will keep her out of the NASA program. House tells her he dropped a dime- dream over. And then of course he sees former protégé Dr. Forman (Omar Epps). Wilson confirms Chase and Cameron being employed by the hospital but insists Forman is in New York.
House finds Cameron working in the ER and figures that she is the one who directed the Captain to him. He tells her she is wasting her time and talents. She says she is doing “good” and gets it out of him that he didn’t rat out the would-be astronaut. Could the light, the pathos of Cameron have affected the cynical logos of House?
Maybe a little. Not enough to go all gushy over but a little bit. I think next week we find out who survives to be on the team. Will it be the old guy? The twins? The guy who played either “Harold” or “Kumar”? Maybe the plastic surgeon who talked the soldier into a boob job? How about the African American Mormon? It should be fun whoever it is.