Tuesday, October 09, 2007 Rant Archive
Here is the problem with this movie, it is so incredibly pretentious in the creative sense that I am not sure if Wes Anderson got the memo that he should not take himself seriously due to the fact that he wears glasses that look like they were bought from the young girls section of the local J.C. Penny’s. That being said, The Darjeeling Limited maintains a tongue-in-cheek integrity in a film tied together with themes about humanity, perseverance & family. I almost feel like Wes Anderson finally watched Life Aquatic, realized what a bombastic, self-indulgent load of dung it was and wrote a movie exactly the opposite of it. I am not even kidding.
The Darjeeling Limited tells the story of three estranged brothers that meet in order to reestablish their bonds via the enlightenment of take a spiritual journey. That doesn’t sound pretentious at all, does it? Well it isn’t not at first. The dialogue is all snap, crackle and pop. Lean, clever writing that zips off the page and rings in the ears. The script glows and actually saves the film entirely. The problem becomes Wes Anderson and the creative process he uses in order to make his movie happen. His insane ability to pay attention to every last detail has spiraled out of control from clever to annoying. I’m sorry, but the film loses credibility when I find myself having to break away from it to critique the stupid knickknacks in the background. It’s in my lame opinion that the film actually suffers from this because the viewer is forced on a frequent basis to acknowledge the fact that everything going on is fictional.
The three brothers Jack, Francis & Peter Whitman (Jason Schwartzman, Owen Wilson & Adrien Brody respectively) come together for a journey through India on the Darjeeling Limited, a train. The brother’s total inability to relate to one another without trust is highlighted almost immediately as Francis shows up with his face maimed and his brother’s questioning his competence and reliance behind his back. Peter’s wife, Alice is pregnant. Jack is breaking into his ex-girlfriend’s voicemails and has a secret ticket to use to get back to Italy. The two share these secrets with one another, leaving Francis out of the loop intentionally. In the same way, Francis hides the fact that the actual nature of this journey is not just a spiritual awakening, but to track down and visit with their mother (Angelica Huston) whom none of them have seen since before their father’s funeral.
This movie is a pile of ... well, you know. Here’s the problem, it’s based on a book. In the book they took the time to explain how everything is tied together and in that way the book works and makes complete sense. Then Hollywood got wind of this book and threw it in the lap of some schmuck screenwriter and told him to get it together for film. Somewhere in this process the integrity of the story ends up being compromised (surprise, surprise) and what you end up with is a something that looks like it was thrown together last minute with tons of special effects to make up for the fact that it was lame as hell. The premise of the movie is not all that bad it’s just poorly executed. I know some eighth graders that could tell a better story.
That being said, The Seeker is the story of Will Stanton, a hyper awkward 14-year-old boy that has to save the world from the Dark using his magical powers to defend and save the Light. If you had to reread that last sentence I will forgive you, but basically this is the age old tale of Light versus Dark.
On Will’s 14th birthday a group called the Old Ones (Ian McShane, Frances Conroy) takes him aside and tells him that he’s the 7th son of a 7th son and it is up to him to find & collect six signs to defend the & save the integrity of the light. Will must bend time in order to collect the first five signs, but the sixth sign we’re told is something he will not find in the past because it is with him all along.
As Will hunts through time for these signs he will be chased by the Rider (Christpher Eccleston). The Rider’s power will increase exponentially each day for five days and on the sixth day his power will reach its maximum. The Old Ones tell Will to trust no one and depend on the nature of his abilities to help him save the world, his family & moreover himself.
I love HEROES. I have to preempt with that because I’m going to complain about this week’s episode.
I enjoyed it enough, but I’m ready for something to happen! First week—Mr. Nakamura (George Takei) is pushed from a building, but that didn’t happen until the last two minutes of the show. Second week—Mrs. Patrelli (Cristine Rose) gets attacked, and Claire (Hayden Penettiere) cuts off her toe. Once again, that didn’t make up for most of the episode.
I was so excited this week because Sylar (Zachary Quinto) was returning, and I always look forward to seeing Hiro (Masi Oka) do his thing. I have to say, though, I was a little disappointed. There was a whole lot of character development, but not a lot of character action. Heck, even on its worst week, HEROES is better than most of the stuff on television.
The universe is slightly off kilter. Things are going well for Hank Moody (David Duchovny). How can that be?
Moody’s descent into hell has been at the center of CALIFORNIACATION. The success novel he worked so hard on was made into a crummy film “starring Tom and Katie.” His relationship with Karen (Natascha McElhone) ended. And he developed a writing block that kept him from doing anything he considered meaningful.
But everything changed, ironically, when his father died. He slept with Karen again before he went east for the funeral and he thinks that “knocked something loose.” Whether it was the sex or his belief that the two of them would get back together again is unclear, but Moody started to write. Using his mother’s typewriter he quickly wrote a slender tome and rushed back to California, where more good news awaited him.
The lousy film with Tom & Katie was so big a hit, Hank is entitled to a large check.
He’s come back with an engagement ring for Karen, even though she plans to marry someone else. And Hank wants her to read the manuscript; she’s read everything he’s written and he values her judgment. The two will marry, raise their daughter and perhaps even have more kids.
Can things get any better? Apparently not.
IESB.net is reporting that director Brett Ratner (RUSH HOUR; X-MEN THE LAST STAND) has been brought on by New Line Cinema to direct a remake of the cult-classic film ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK. More specifically Ratner is the appointed replacement for the film’s original director, Len Wiseman (UNDERWORLD.)
Details are sketchy about led to sudden change in directors, but it has been further rumored that Wiseman’s job directing another film for New Line is also hanging precariously in the balance: a live-action adaptation of last year’s blockbuster video game GEARS OF WAR.
It is currently unclear just how much the script for ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK will be altered under the new director. Ratner’s past affinity for big action coupled with hearty (if not hit-or-miss) humor should make him a good fit for the film though, which alternates between over-the-top action sequences and oddball characters.
For those too young (or too sophisticated) to know, ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK was a John Carpenter (HALLOWEEN) B-movie released in 1981. The premise: evildoers kidnap the U.S. President and abscond with him to the most dangerous place on earth, the penal colony of Manhattan. Even the military is scared to go there anymore, so the government sends the biggest badass on earth to save the Pres: unruly prisoner Snake Plissken (Kurt Russell, all angry growls and a pirate eye-patch.) The film became a cult-hit due largely to its ludicrous premise, macabre, demented characters and the hilarious straight-forwardness with which Russell embodied the iconic role of Snake. The film spawned one god-awful sequel, ESCAPE FROM L.A., which was released in 1996.
The Lord works in mysterious ways. Poor Nancy Botwin (Mary-Louise Parker) has to set up a whole new distribution system. She has a lot of grass to get out into the market place and a limited number of buyers. Son Shane (Alexander Gould) has created a website allowing people to place orders on line, but Nancy needs people on the ground.
This brings us to Tara Lindman (Mary-Kate Olsen), the young evangelical who is saving her virginity – but little else for her husband. “The Lord wants me to sell pot and He wants me to buy a new convertible,” Tara explains.
Nancy is not pleased with the idea of bringing an outsider into the operation, and punishes her son Silas (Hunter Parrish), Tara’s beau and the one she is not having sex with in the same way a recent President did not have sex with that girl. He is reassigned from marketing and sales to production, where he is placed in charge of Conrad’s (Romany Malco) scut work raising the crop. Or as they say it more colorfully, he becomes “Conrad’s bitch.”
Meanwhile, Nancy continues to pursue Valerie Scotsman, the former wife of Nancy’s former husband, the murdered DEA agent. And miracle of miracles, they do become friends. Because the Lord works in mysterious ways.
Last time on PRISON BREAK, Lincoln (Dominic Purcell) was slowly walking towards a bloody box in the basement.
This week, we found out what was in that box…
But it wasn’t until around ten minutes into the episode, and, of course, we had to see flashes of last week’s ender God knows how many times before we get a quick flash of the contents. It’s Sara’s head.
When the show’s producers said they were going to come up with creative ways to get around Sarah Wayne Callies not being on the show, I didn’t think they meant killing her. Alas, Michael (Wentworth Miller) has no one waiting for him on the outside, and his big brother Lincoln is extremely smart to keep this bit of information to himself. Michael has enough stress on the inside to worry about.
It’s time for him to get down to business with getting Whistler (Chris Vance) out of Sona. What’s the plan? We don’t really know yet, but it does involve a fake gold cross, a non-electric fence, and the help of a gravedigger.
Michael’s ever-thinking brain comes up with an idea to turn the power off in the prison. Lechero (Robert Wisdom) is so worried about not being able to charge his cell phone battery that he comes looking for the only engineer he knows--Michael. How Michael knew he’d come for him, I have not a clue, but obviously, it was in the script that way. Michael tells Lechero the only way to fix the power is to get outside the gates.
If Dan (Kevin McKidd) thought it was difficult to explain his disappearances to his wife, he aint seen nothing. Tonight Dan gets caught in the worst kind of lie you can tell your spouse. You know the one about swearing you haven’t seen or talked to your ex? Of course this would come as even more of a surprise to Katie (Gretchen Egolf) than it would to the average women, because her husband’s ex is supposed to be dead. She’s already trying to cope with the fact that her husband travels throughout time to help total strangers, and she’s being supportive about it, all things considered. But now she has major suspicions about whom her husband may be meeting up with during his travels. So, instead of meeting up at a sleazy hotel for a little alone time, these two are trying to catch up in-between their trips to the past. At least he has an excuse; I mean he can’t control when and where he goes, and apparently neither can Livia. So you see, it’s not really his fault the love of his life came hurling back into his life. Yeah, I’m sure his wife will understand that.
In tonight’s episode of JOURNEYMAN, Dan’s purpose seems to be to save a man from his own demons, when he goes back to the time of the 1989 San Francisco earthquake. But he faces a bit of a dilemma, when he has a choice to make; either save the man he’s been sent there for, or save a friend. Wow, that’s really putting a guy on the spot. I mean if I didn’t think there would be any repercussions to the future, I’d save the friend hands down. This is the problem, because Dan doesn’t know how or why he has started time traveling, so if he doesn’t accomplish what he has been sent to do he keeps getting sent back. I just hate repeating my work, don’t you?
I’ll give this to “The Big Bang Theory”: the show is definitely finding its niche.
This week offered what I’d say is the best intro segment, a chuckle-worthy look at the nerd-squad engaged in a high-stakes game of World of Warcraft, complete with treachery, greed and some online backstabbing.
The main plotline deals with Leonard (Johnny Galecki) stumbling upon crush Penny (Kaley Cuoco) making out with one of her boy-toys—an injection of reality the show badly needed; up until this point Penny had been virtually asexual.
Lovelorn Leonard is crushed. To win back his confidence he proposes to his friends that he will ask out his lab partner at work. The lab partner is played by Sara Gilbert, Galecki’s on-screen girlfriend from “Rosanne” (Inside joke alert!) Leonard nerdishly requests a date from Gilbert, who in equally nerdish fashion opts to cut right to the kiss. The result: no ‘bio-chemical reaction’; the girl is not interested in him. Leonard is further crushed.
After a period of lamenting (singing emo songs and planning to buy a cat,) Leonard, provoked by Sheldon (Jim Parsons,) does what he should’ve done in the first place: knocks on Penny’s door and asks her out. Well… sort of. Too nervous to confront the issue directly, Leonard leads Penny to believe that their date is actually a group outing with the nerd squad.
LOST creator J.J. Abrams, along with cohorts Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci, is
bringing his new show FRINGE to the Fox network, with a two-hour pilot whose budget is reported to exceed $10 million!
The show will explore the paranormal investigations of a brilliant (possibly crazy) research scientist, his estranged son and a female FBI agent who reunites the two. If it sounds like a rehash of THE X-FILES, it is because Fox is betting that Abrams and co. will successfully tap a similar vein of fandom as the 90’s cult-hit. Even Abrams admits his goal with FRINGE was to emulate THE X-FILES, simultaneously infusing it with “a slight TWILIGHT ZONE vibe.”
“So much of the story is relatable people in extraordinary situations," Abrams said. "The Show is definitely a nod to ‘Altered States’ and ‘Scanners’ and that whole Michael Crichton/Robin Cook world of medicine and science.”
The show will offer mostly self-contained episodes of paranormal exploration, strung together by a few serial storylines between main characters. The tone is expected to be at once spooky and humorous:
“It does the stuff my favorite TV shows and movies do, which is to combine genres that shouldn’t fit together,” Abrams said. “It’s definitely meant to scare the hell out of you, but it’s also meant to make you laugh…”
However, expect FRINGE'S main character, eccentric researcher Walter Bishop, to be less Fox Mulder and more Dr. House, according to Orci:
“He’s someone who has the mental ability to solve so many problems but is so different that communicating with them is almost impossible.”
The road to Hell is paved with good intentions, the old saw goes, and this week’s look into K-VILLE, Fox’s post-Katrina New Orleans drama, illustrates the point quite effectively. Things open up as Officer Trevor Cobb (Cole Hauser) knocks over an abandoned fridge, and pulls out a huge wad of cash from the back. He then cleans up the money and gives it to a pretty young woman, who turns out to be the wife of Cobb’s former cellmate. Sounds real nice, doesn’t it? It was, too, right up until the cash turns out to be marked bills from a bank robbery. Oops.
Our other hero, Officer Marlin Boulet (Anthony Anderson), has his mind on other things at the moment. His old partner, Charlie Pratt (Derek Webster), the one who abandoned Boulet in the days immediately after the hurricane, is applying to get back on the force, and has asked his old buddy Marlin to be a character witness. Boulet is understandably conflicted about this, since he hasn’t yet been able to forgive Charlie for abandoning his post. Throw in a woman murdered in a way that seems to implicate voodoo who turns out to have a secret past, and it’s another day full of violence and fun in the Big Easy.
I say it every week, but what the hell, I’ll say it again a little plainer: K-VILLE’s a damn good show. I look forward to seeing Anderson and Hauser go head-to-head every Monday night; there are better shows available on the boob tube right now, but there aren’t any better partnerships being featured than this one. Boulet and Cobb are perfect complements, but they don’t seem willing to settle in just yet, and their burgeoning relationship as partners and friends is one of the show’s most potent themes (the rise and fall of New Orleans being the other).
Narrowly pulled from the jaws of cancellation, cult-favorite “Jericho” may be back on TV for its seven-episode second season, sooner than expected. CBS had originally planned to premiere “Jericho” during mid-season, which would fall around 1st quarter 2008. However according to
tvweek.com, CBS execs have a plan that could land the show back on the air well before that time.
The network has hinted that, should any one of their hour-long freshman shows falter in the ratings, “Jericho” could very well be utilized to fill its spot, rather than trying to force-feed the public a tired string of re-runs until midseason rolled around. That means that if (and ONLY if) “Kid Nation,” “Moonlight,” “Cane” or the yet-to-premier “Viva Laughlin” are not up to ratings par, (ahem,) then “Jericho” will most likely get its spot. If you’ve seen any of those aforementioned shows, you know that could be any day now (except you “Kid,” we love you!)
Of course, to downplay any anxieties about its new shows’ performance, the network is thwarting any speculation of “Jericho’s” early return:
“The best thing going for ‘Jericho’ is it’s done and ready to go, [CBS scheduling head Kelly Kahl says.] “But it’s too early to tell what time period is going to available.”
Kahl maintains that CBS’ fall premieres are performing well, and that no opening is guaranteed before mid-season.
This week everyone seems to be asking Chuck where he sees himself in five years…ten years, etc. You get the idea. Big Mike, his go-no-where boss at his go-no-where job asks him. His sister asks him while reminding him of his Stanford background. And as much as Chuck is charming as the aimless, cheery slacker, he does have dreams. And of course we know he is going to turn out to be a better spy than it appears, but we’ll let that develop as it should.
The caper this week is chasing down an ugly painting that men are killing each other for from Tehran to Madrid to Los Angeles. The painting is the only link to an international arms dealer known only as “La Ciudad.” Now, in the class “Generic Plot Twists 101” you learn that when a character has never been identified and no pictures of them exist, they will not be the first one you think they are. And to make it even simpler there will be a racial, gender or age reversal to make it truly a “twist”.
In order to catch “La Ciudad,” Chuck needs to put his pursuit of the Assistant Manager position at Buy More on hold (will he lose the prime promotion to his co-worker/nemesis Harry Tang?). Agent Sarah Walker has to turn in her Wienerlicious lederhosen for an evening gown and bring Chuck, aka Charles Carmichael- his spy name, to the art auction where the awful painting is to be sold. Agent John Casey tells Chuck to learn the tango for his first field assignment. And the man who can do no wrong, Captain Awesome, can teach Chuck the dance. Captain Awesome teaches Chuck to be the woman however. Awesome! Captain Awesome is my current favorite fictional character, beating out long time leader Jeff Probst.
YOU KILL ME is one of those sharp, intelligent and funny independent films that DVDs were made for.
Why? The difference between studio and independent films is less about quality – both are capable of producing extraordinarily great movies and pitiful crap – but about money. Consider this: if you were an executive with a company that distributes films, which would you spent your time and money on the one that costs $2 million or the latest $100 million comic book extravaganza? And if you owned a theater, what would you want on your screen, Fantastic Four and Batman or a smart small film that you know won’t be extensively promoted?
So I say with reasonable certainty that not only did most of you not see You Kill Me, but many probably never even heard of it. But you do know it now, and you have no excuse not to view this darkly delicious comedy.
Frank Falenczyk (Ben Kingsley) is a hit man for a small Polish crime family in Buffalo run by his uncle Roman (Philip Baker Hall). But there’s a problem. Frank is a drunk. For example, as an inducement to clear the snow from his walkway, he throws a bottle of vodka 10 feet ahead of him. He can’t have another sip until he shovels his way there.
Drinking can be a problem for a killer, especially if he falls into a stupor on an assignment as Frank does. So he’s banished to San Francisco and ordered to undergo treatment. He’s met by a friend of the family, a real estate agent named Dave (Bill Pullman) who gets Frank settled into an apartment, a job at a mortuary and a local AA program.