By Jennifer Larson

Now that Denny (William Shatner) has a suspicion that the new guy Carl (John Larroquette) is bedding his beloved Shirley (Candice Bergen), he’s on a mission to prove he’s the bigger and better man. And when a cockfighting case finds its way to Crane, Poole and Schmidt, Denny figures it is the perfect opportunity to put his money where his mouth is. Seriously, a cockfighting case; there couldn’t be any better analogy of what’s going on between these two than that. I thought men outgrew that stuff by the time they were 50-years-old. I guess as long as there is any trace of testosterone left in their bodies, they remain a slave to it. But it isn’t all fun and games at BOSTON LEGAL this week, because Alan (James Spader) and his hot to trot coworker Lorraine (Saffron Burrows) had to represent a teenage girl, who is HIV-positive, against her school. And Katie (Tara Summers) and Jerry (Christian Clemenson) have been paired together again on a case involving a women whose husband has committed suicide.

That’s the beauty of BOSTON LEGAL; it doesn’t take itself too seriously, but it doesn’t avoid the heavy subjects either. Yes, now and again the writers have Alan jump up on his soap box and wax poetically about how poorly our country is being run, but even those tirades are balanced by the conservative slant of Denny Crane. That’s why I feel like I’ve watched three shows in one, when I tune in to this show. Not to mention the diversity of the their cases, which can run the gamut from serious cases of murder to the silliness of cockfighting. And speaking of that cockfighting case, Denny and Carl have a much bigger problem on their hands than just trying to defend a wretched human being who pits dog against dog from going to jail, they have to try and get him to speak English during his trial. That’s because, thus far, he only seems to be able to tell his story in Spanish. But you know Denny Crane will do whatever it takes to keep his perfect record.


Meanwhile, Alan has a case that would break even the coldest of hearts. It appears his 15-year-old client wants to sue her school for leaving her ill informed, with regards to sex. Apparently when you go to a religious school their version of sex ed only includes abstinence. Considering the MTV world we live in, I’d say she has a point, especially since she contracted HIV. But this lawsuit will be an uphill battle for this little girl, because her parents aren’t very thrilled at the prospect of their baby being outed – so to speak – in their community. But really, Alan’s worked through stickier situations than this. I think he has more of a problem with the prospect of working with the elevator lolita yet again. Now how is he supposed to give a 15-year-old girl his full attention, when he has a barracuda circling his body? Still, I give Alan higher odds of winning than Denny and Carl.

Katie and Jerry have another juicy case to bite their teeth into as well. The widow of a suicide victim wants to sue the psychiatrist who brought out his repressed memories of childhood sexual abuse. It seems as if the man was happy as a lark, before he realized he’d been defiled, but lost all reason to live after he found out. It sounds reasonable to me; after all, they do say ignorance is bliss. But his widow isn’t content to live in blissful ignorance, she wants answers as to how her husband could have been happy go lucky one day and suicidal the next. Tough case, but putting a non-English speaking defendant on the stand is even worse. As usual, the legal eagles at BOSTON LEGAL find a clever way of getting around the intricacies of their case. In one of the most hysterical scenes I’ve seen in a long time, Denny and Carl got a nun for an interpreter, which meant she had to repeat verbatim the defendant’s pledges of love for his cock, Ronald Reagan. Honestly, you have to see it for yourself to get a full comprehension of how brilliant it was. Suffice it to say, just because you engage in cockfighting doesn’t mean you don’t consider your cock to be part of the family. I guess it boils down to a matter of perspective.


After an impassioned and brilliant closing in the case of the teenager with HIV, Alan won scored a victory against the school board. Amazingly, Carl and Denny managed to win their cockfighting case and not surprisingly, Jerry and Katie got a huge settlement for their client. So everybody at BOSTON LEGAL won … and so did I for getting to watch it all unfold.