By Sabrina Cognata

For a show about to get cancelled I cannot see why I’m even writing reviews for it anymore.  If BIG SHOTS gets the green light for another season, I’ll give up completely, turn into Mary Sunshine & join a convent.  Since I know none of this is a possibility I am not going to bother even breaking into a sweat over anything.  I guess we should get up-to-date with these four sissies and their lame personal dramas.

Duncan (Dylan McDermott) brings more heat to the fearful foursome as Dontrelle’s address book was confiscated by the police after he/she was arrested.  The thing that Duncan hasn’t told anyone yet is the name he gave Dontrelle when he met him/her in the bathroom stall in Yonkers, was that he gave out Brody’s (Christopher Titus) name.  If that black book comes to light Duncan isn’t going to be the only one with a shattered career.  I mean, if you’re going down in a blaze of transsexual glory you might as well take as many of your friends down with you. Brody uses a contact in the police station to try and get the address book out of police custody.  The cop agrees to get that black book in exchange for his daughter becoming the new face of Duncan’s cosmetic line.  Too bad this girl makes Ugly Betty look glamorous.  If that isn’t enough Duncan decides that he’s still in love with Lizabeth, his ex-wife and he wants to try dating her again. 


James (Michael Vartan) might be the world’s worst bachelor and because his friends are made of money and I guess this is what you do when you have more money than god—they get together and lease him a Ferrari.  Goodbye married life, hello mid-life crisis.  James drives up to his children’s school in his brand spanking new pussy wagon and meets a nice divorcee immediately.  She guesses he is recently divorced and tells him to give her ajingle if he ever needs anyone to talk to about it as she’s gone through it all before.  DO I SMELL FORESHADOWING?

Turns out, Karl continues to be both the geekiest of the four and the reaper of the most women problems.  I’ve decided that Karl wins this award and not Duncan because at least Karl is banging two women at once—Duncan’s biggest problem is with a man that poses as a woman.  Brilliant.  Wendy, Karl’s wife, has hired a private investigator and tells Marla that there are shocking photos in the zip drive the investigator gave her.  Marla panics and tells Wendy to really think about what she’s saying.  Wendy says she isn’t ready to find out what is on that drive and that she’s going to put it in her special hiding place.  Marla finds that place and Karl gives the drive to Brody to have the photos of Karl & his secretary doctored so that Marla does not get jealous and tell Wendy what went on between herself and Karl just to spite him. 

Even though Duncan’s got more problems than a Special Education kid he manages to find the time to throw James a re-bachelor party.  Basically, it is like a coming out party for a fifteen-year-old girl.  Welcome to dating James, you are 38-years-old, man up and stop acting like that fifteen-year-old girl.  James ends up leaving the party with a cute blonde and when they get to her place she tells him that he can come up and screw her, but he has to be fast cause she has an early day tomorrow.  HILARITY, IS THAT WOMAN RELATED TO ME?  Anyways, having this happen to himself, James questions his friends as to the rapid evolving of womankind.  The best the shows writer’s can come up with is that women have had to compete with men for so long they’ve become us.  Good one geniuses. 


To wrap things up, the photos that Brody has doctored for Karl end up making Wendy think that Karl is having a gay affair.  The police officer tells Brody & Duncan that Dontrelle’s black book is missing from the evidence room.  James has started hanging out with the divorcee and he likes her a lot.  And back to Duncan, cause clearly the world revolves around him, he goes to Lizabeth and gets her to agree to going on a date with him because he wants more from her than just sex.  Pathetic.  Maybe I will get word that this show is finished by next week so I never have to waste another 800 or so words explaining a show that makes men look like dummies.