By Matthew Wood

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think I’m actually (kinda, sorta, just a teensy-weensy bit) starting to like the Darling family. God, I feel dirty just writing that, but I just can’t help it. The soap-opera story lines of the richest family in town are tawdry, cliché and … I can’t get enough of them.

This week, we focus on Patrick’s (Billy Baldwin) campaign for Senate, which he plans to announce at a big fundraising party. Chaos of course ensues before the event, as someone tries to blackmail the family with a sex tape; Natalie – Juliet’s sworn enemy and Jeremy’s secret love affair – crashes the party and gets in a catfight on the red carpet with Juliet; and Patrick himself gets wasted and arrested hours before giving his speech because he has to break up with his tranny boy/girlfriend.

Oh, and Nick (Peter Krause) the family lawyer continues to search for his father’s killer – which is kind of the whole point of the show, but I could kind of care less about any of that crap.

Jeez, I can’t believe I prefaced all of that schlocky-bad TV plotline with saying I liked the show, but what are ya gonna do?


I’ve totally fallen for the character of Juliet (Samaire Armstrong), the debutante who gives the impression of being a spoiled, slutty brat – but deep down just wants to contribute to society. She continually has chances to make great lines, but never seems to get them right. In the pilot, she responds to a reporter’s grilling by saying, “Well, you’re poor!” This week, she has a chance to come up with another zinger, but can only muster, “My foot.” Good one, girl. But, silly as they may be, Armstrong delivers the lines in such a way that you can’t help but feel for her.

And her relationship with twin brother Jeremy (Seth Gabel) fascinates me. While they claim they have “twintuition” you can’t help but wonder if they’re going to (or already have) taken things up a notch – if you catch my drift. OK, if they do that, it might just cross the line into too creepy/soapy. Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.

Anyway, the sex tape ends up being about Karen (Natalie Zea) whom I really couldn’t care much less about. But at least it wasn’t the twins. And Patrick delivers the speech of his life, with a little help from the philanthropic-to-a-fault Nick. But he also plans to keep on seeing Carmelita(o) the s/he. I’m no political advisor, but this seems like a bad idea.


And, as everything wraps up, we get the next cliffhanger: The guy who Nick suspects murdered his dad is actually the one who bought the sex tape and saved the family from disgrace. Whew, that’s a relief. But now, what does he know about the death? And who’s the next suspect?

Who cares? Let’s get Juliet back on the screen.