By David Valdes
Last week, I griped about how the ladies of Wisteria Lane could be fully dressed in expensive clothes and enjoying their morning cups of coffee together on the sidewalk before the morning paper had even arrived. This week, we watch as Susan, Lynette, Gaby and Bree go through their morning rituals - working out, getting dressed, strapping on a fake pregnancy bump - all while speaking on the phone. It's good to have friends, but these women are flatout codependent.
The subject of their morning phone call was Susan's annual cherades party, a get-together so disliked and unwanted that none of the women skip a beat in making up an excuse to miss it. Until Lynette realizes that a group bonding session, complete with free-flowing wine, might be the best way to uncork new neighbor Katherine's dark secrets. That is, why does her daughter remember nothing of her childhood and why did Katherine slap the girl for inquiring?
Meanwhile Susan decided to take a trip to an obstetrician suggested by Bree. Only thing is, Bree's not pregnant so the doctor whose information she gave Susan was one she randomly selected in the phone book. As you can imagine, this resulted in a very uncomfortable visit to the most shady doctor's office ever. It looked like the waiting room to an inner city brothel. Susan stuck it out though because if Bree suggested it, it must be good. Well, it wasn't and she came home highly suspicious that her doctor took camera phone pictures of her... well, lets move on.
On the Lynette front, it was all about the kick-ass chronic. To help her nauseous daughter reclaim her appetite, Lynette's mother scored some marijuana from - who else? - Andrew Van de Kamp. Lynette nipped the idea in the bud, though, so her wily mother resorted to subterfuge. She convinced Parker, Lynett'e oldest, to guilt his mom into eating a batch of pot brownies. It worked. Was anyone else worried the kid might dip into the brownies himself? The result was a very stoned Lynette making a fool of herself at game night and laughing hysterically at SpongeBob SquarePants.
Gabrielle finds herself in a bit of trouble after tending a little too closely to Katherine's husband after she spilled a drink on him. Katherine sees Gaby wiping the wine off of his shirt and icily remarks, "Would it be too much to ask you to keep your hands off of my husband?" Things get heated when Gaby responds to this by telling Katherine she has a reputation in town for "having a stick up your ass," and Katherine fires back that Gaby had an affair with her teenage gardener. But nothing beats Gaby's school yard tone when she decides to hit below the belt: "Bree saw you slap your daughter!"
Bree's mortified expression as Gaby drags her into the squabble is much like the one she wears when she hears news from the convent Danielle housing Danielle during her pregnancy. Bree's daughter - former president of the abstinence club - took a spill while rollerblading and, thus, had a pregnancy scare. Luckily, it was a false alarm. Bree shared a tender moment with Susan where, for a second, it looked like Bree would tell the truth about her faux-pregnancy. I'm not sure if I'm ready for two new babies on Wisteria Lane. That just seems like a lot of babies. And storylines about babies.
Another thing: I've always felt that the direction and videography on DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES was underrated. Consider the first twenty minutes of the last episode, in which each scene seamlessly transitions into the next by way of smooth camera work, editing and even some choreography by the actors. Kudos to the crew!
What did everyone else think of the episode? How long more do you foresee Gaby's mayor husband sucking the life out of every scene he is in? Is there redemption for Edie or are the writers making her unbearably clingy and annoying so viewers will root for her swift assassination? As much as I don't think Carlos will actually go through with it, I sort of wish he would. (Yeah I went there.) Weigh in!