By Sabrina Cognata

Storyline wise, GOSSIP GIRL has to be the most overrated thing on television since the last crappy, big deal on television.  The dialogue is trite and overdone.  Moreover the storyline is the same high school crap we dealt with in DAWSON’S CREEK, FELEICTY & BEVERLY HILLS 91210.  The ultimate sense of fashion & wardrobe changes going on with each & every character would be the one and only redeeming quality of this show.  Fashionistas unite!  I cannot even begin to tell you how impressed I was with the ultimate sense of attire flashing before my very eyes.  It was like Christmas for the style inclined. 

Anyways, this episode reads exactly like anything ever written or depicted about high school.  The narrator is anonymous (Kristin Bell) and known as Gossip Girl.  God, that’s brilliant, why didn’t I think of it?  So the shoe’s about this clan of ridiculously social elite high school students that do whatever they want and use their parent’s money and power to stay out of trouble.  It sounds exactly like my high school experience.  I guess that is why I am writing reviews of television shows nightly and not a power lawyer, or is it because I like to spend all my other waking hours partying?  WHO KNOWS FOR SURE. 

This week, Dan Humphrey (Penn Badgley) casts his lifestyle of simple means away and finally asks glamorous Serena van der Woodsen (Blake Lively) on a date.  Dan makes a big deal out of it, telling his dad, Rufus (Matthew Settle) that he’s going to spend every last penny he has to make this the sort of date worthy of Serena.  Too bad Dan didn’t get the memo that Serena doesn’t want the five star service.


While Dan’s busy counting his pennies, Serena’s brother Eric (Connor Paolo) wants to spend the weekend at home and away from the rehab facility he’s forced to live in because he suffers from severe depression and has suicidal tendencies.  You know, because living in a fancy institution will help you feel more loved and more accepted than living at home with the people you hate that love you even though you’re an adolescent twit, right?  Their mother, Darla (Kelly Rutherford) reluctantly agrees, but after speaking with Eric’s therapist reneges on her agreement saying the therapist thinks it’s a bad idea at this point in Eric’s recovery. 

Meanwhile, Blair Waldorf (Leighton Meester), queen bee and total bitch decides to hold her annual sleepover.  This works as a hazing for anyone looking to be worthy of her friendship.  Blair brings it up to Serena in front of Jenny (Taylor Momsen), Dan’s sister, but Serena says she cannot go because she has a date with Dan.  This gives Jenny the opportunity to self-invite, and expose herself to the hell that is popularity.  Oh the joy. 

Dan & Serena’s date starts off on the wrong foot.  Serena thinks Dan’s rented a Vespa, but it turns out he got a limo with a driver, disappointing her.  Then Dan takes her to one of the best, not to mention most expensive restaurants in Manhattan where he realizes he can barely pay the bill.  While he’s calculating the tab in his head, Serena slips off to the bathroom and pays for the meal with her mother’s credit card.  She then confesses she wishes that Dan had given her the real deal—the sort of date she cannot afford herself, SLUMMISH FUN!  Then Dan admits he was trying to impress her with fancy-schmancy stuff and gives her the real deal, POVERTY STRICKEN FUN.  Serena is totally in love.

In the middle of this, Blair dares Jenny to break Eric out of the nuthouse.  Eric excitedly leaves and Blair and the wonder twits decide to go to one of Manhattan’s hottest clubs.  Darla gets a call from the hospital and tries tracking down her daughter to help her locate her son.  The only way she can do this is to call Rufus, her old high school flame, and ask him for his son’s number.  Rufus is having wife trouble and let’s this effect him and he hangs up with Darla in a huff.  After reviewing the situation he feels like a jackass and calls up his son and tells him to check up on Eric.  In the interim, Darla shows up at Rufus’s place and the two wait to hear what’s going on with Eric and subsequently rekindle their feelings for one another.  I NEVER SAW THAT COMING. 

Serena collects Eric, and he tells her that he came on his own and not to be mad at anyone.  Serena takes Eric and goes to walk him back to the nuthouse.  Dan, on the other hand, is having words with his sister, telling her she’s acting like someone she isn’t.  Jenny relents and tells him just because she’s hanging out with Blair doesn’t mean she’s like Blair.  Dan allows Jenny to stay and catches up with Serena to walk her and Eric back to the looney bin.  After they drop off Eric they finally kiss.  I guess this is supposed to be a big deal for the characters, but it’s sort of anti-climactic. 


Back to Jenny, Blair has one final dare for her—she hands Jenny the keys to her mother’s store and tells her to go inside and take a jacket on display.  Jenny is apprehensive, but she relents and does it to prove herself to the group.  While she’s turned around Blair and the other girls run off as the alarm sounds in the background.  Jenny, being a middle class minx talks her way out of trouble with the cops and shows up at Blair’s house, saying she’s keeping the jacket and throwing the keys at Blair.  Jenny proves herself to Blair, and maybe better than Blair.  This show is a waste of time, but I like looking at the pretty clothes on pretty people.  Sue me.