By Buzz Byrne

Last week I was promised “THE MOST SHOCKING WEIGH-IN IN BIGGEST LOSER HISTORY!” by that gravely voiced siren that cuts the promos and bumpers for the show.

I hate that guy.

This episode started with the teams getting blown up. With twelve remaining potential losers, there would now be four teams of three and the power to pick teams was up to a poker game where the wagering was in calories. They played with chips…chocolate chips, wafers, cheese in red wax, crackers and peanut butter cups. The catch was that what was bet had to be eaten by the bettor and there would be only one winner. It meant a lot of consumed, vacant calories.

I mean if NBC is going to all the trouble of making these people lose the weight, I think they have every right to break their spirit once in a while. “I was prepared to eat everything on that table,” said Hollie of the challenge. We know that Hollie. Everybody knows that.

When it came time to ante up Kae was the only one who wouldn’t play. She knew better than to engage in this foolishness. And I’m saying it right now, she has a legitimate shot as being the first woman to win this thing despite being so (relatively) tiny.


Some players just wanted to chow down under the guise of “bluffing,” while others felt they were playing for their future in the game. We did get to see the joyous wave flow through the group as they tossed down the junk food. It was close to a food orgy.

Jez won and divided the former Blues, Reds and Blacks up fairly evenly, putting himself on a team with the biggest threat in the men (Neil) and the biggest threat in the women (Isabeau).

Amy decided to break up with her trainer, Kim, and float under the shadow of Jillian’s flared nostrils of power. Much crying and accusations followed as Hollie and Isabeau felt she took Jillian’s focused nostrils away from them. Bowflex and Quaker Oats got in some meaningful product placement and very little was actually settled.

But when it came to the much anticipated weigh-in, it was fairly mundane to start with. Most put up modest numbers. Amy scored a flat zero. Smart move switching trainers. Former Blue team member Ryan hoisted up a mighty 1. Not one pound lost but one gained.

Now this has happened before so this couldn’t have been the big shocker. The shocker came when the final trio of Isabeau, Jez and Neil weighed in last. Isabeau lost four pounds, Jez lost six and Neil?

He gained seventeen pounds.

After it being so obvious, he later admitted to throwing the weigh-in to keep his old Blue team in the game. Trainer Bob’s response was, “Seventeen (bleep)-ing pounds? Are you (bleep)-ing kidding me?”


No, Bob, he’s not (bleep)-ing kidding you. He’s playing the game like a dirtbag and because of it Jez wasn’t as safe as he thought he would be. Jez was sent home.

Since his involvement with the show, Jez lost an amazing one hundred and three pounds. Great job, Jez. Keep it up.

Next week I’m sure the campus dorms blow up from Neil’s deceit. Just imagine a very deep voice saying that and it is a lot more exciting.