By Sabrina Cognata

I guess television executives know what young women want and it’s a super lame nighttime soap opera that does not have enough of the high school student’s doing blow to accurately depict the social scene it’s trying to.  This week we deal with the snotty elitists of the Upper East Side & their social woes—gag me with a spoon.

Dan (Penn Badgley ) & Serena (Blake Lively), sitting in a tree...not exactly.  If you thought they got over their star crossed lover crap last week, well, think again.  Serena isn’t sure if Dan wants to go to Blair’s (Leighton Meester) costume ball with her.  When she finally calls him she hears a girl in the background.  Dan, the quick thinking idiot tells her it’s his sister Jenny.  Too bad Jenny (Taylor Momsen) is over at Blair’s house with Serena.  Serena never asks him and sort of feels betrayed because she is an idiot.  Blair tells some of her ladies in waiting to get Serena a date and get him fast & good looking.  For being a total bitch, Blair is my sort of girl.

Now Nate is slowly piecing together the fact that his father’s financial problems are suspicious.  His father’s working double overtime to land the account of Blair’s mother, Elinor.  This account means mondo buckaroos and would solve the problem for the time being.  Still, when Nate stumbles upon a bag of blow he questions if the money problems aren’t so much from poor financial planning, but from his father trying to snort all of Columbia up his nose.  He tries to call Blair about this, but she’s too busy being popular so he shows up unannounced at Serena’s house and she tells him to confront his father.  He thanks for her help by creepily rubbing her hand as thought he were Mr. Burns from the Simpsons. 


The girl in the background with Dan is his friend Vanessa (Jessica Szohr).  Turns out she moved away a year ago and when she took off Dan confessed his love for her.  Too bad Dan is in love with everyone and is a total girl.  This time around Vanessa’s got it bad for Dan.  Too bad she cannot steal the limelight away from Serena.  Dan makes plans to hangout with Vanessa where she plans to tell him she’s in love with him!  In the meantime, Gossip Girl send Dan a message telling him to be a man and show up to the costume ball.  Dan takes the hint, cancels his plans with Vanessa and goes to the ball.  Everything would have worked out perfectly except for the fact that Vanessa runs into Jenny.

Jenny is heart broken about freshmen not being allowed at the ball.  Vanessa tells her she knows someone that can get her a gown on short notice and she can crash the ball.  Perfect, right?  Wrong.  You see, when Vanessa and Jenny show up, Vanessa accidentally keeps Jenny’s house keys so she sneaks back into the ball and what does her wandering eye spy?  Dan kissing Serena and telling her she is the one for him.  Enter shit storm as Vanessa makes herself known and Dan chases after her to secure his friendship.  Meanwhile, Jenny takes off running through the ball because Nate confuses her for Serena and tries to kiss her.  Blair spots Jenny and also thinks she’s Serena, but a bracelet Jenny’s wearing give away her identity.  DRAMA.


At the end of the night Dan works things out with Vanessa and the two remain friends.  While he also gets a goodnight kiss from Serena.  Turns out women are not all insane.  LIARS.  Poor Nate goes home and is confronted by his mother about the bag of booger sugar he already found.  She found it while looking for a wine cork to celebrate the fact that his father landed Elinor’s account.  Regardless, there is little to celebrate as Daddyo is setting him up to take the fall.  It turns out Daddy’s been a bad, bad boy.  I bet he’ll go to rehab by the end of the season.  Awesome.