By Sabrina Cognata
Everyone knows I hate PRIVATE PRACTICE. At this point I am pretty sure Shonda Rhimes and Kate Walsh have both been informed of my disdain for the entire show. I don’t see the point of keeping it a secret, but it’s a poorly executed rip off of every medical drama ever. Although I firmly believe this to be a fact I cannot help but admit that this is the first episode of PRIVATE PRACTICE that I’ve ever had to watch that didn’t thrust me into the arms of suicide. It’s a monumental occasion indeed.
Judging by the title of this week’s episode In Which Addison Finds a Showerhead you might think it’s about bathroom remodeling, but you’d be wrong. It’s about Addison (Kate Walsh) nurturing her fantasies for Pete with a good old fashioned go at herself with the shower massager. For those of you that need me to break it down, this week Addison learns how to masturbate. I enjoy how Addison tells Naomi (Audra McDonald) and Violet (Amy Brenneman) that she doesn’t diddle herself because she’s from Connecticut and apparently people there look at sex as a two player game or something. Regardless, by the end of the episode Addison runs home chanting that Pete’s (Tim Daly) a cowboy or a gladiator so she can marinate in the shower, or whatever.
Violet tells us her fantasy is Bill Clinton, which leads Naomi to accuse Violet of finally being over her ex, Allan. Actually, she’s bragging this to love sick Cooper (Paul Adelstein) when Allan shows up and wants to talk. So much for actually having a spine, right Violet? She agrees to having coffee with Allan & Cooper knows this will end in disaster so he shows up at her house after the meeting only to be confronted with the fact that Allan’s at Violet’s house and he’s sick of being her shoulder to lean on. Today Cooper is officially a man. Now Violet thinks she can be friends with Allan. Everyone knows will end in disaster and it does when Allan tells Violet that he’s trying to have a baby with his new wife. Violet cries a lot and then goes to see Cooper to ask him why he didn’t come and pick up her pieces sooner and he ushers her into his apartment. I hope he screws her in there so I can start respecting him cause nothing cause respect like taking advantage of the female friend you’re in love with when she’s crushed from another relationship.
Addison actually has her hands full this episode and if you think I mean full of vagina, you’d be right, only because she is a gynecologist, duh. Naomi & Sam’s daughter, Maya, comes to her and tells her she’s been having sex (she’s 13) and she suspects she has gonorrhea. Underage sluts unite. After examining & testing Maya it turns out she’s disease free. Still, Addison wonders how to deal with things as she is in conflict over the fact that Naomi is her best friend, but she is obligated as a doctor to keep Maya’s medical information confidential. Eventually, the truth comes out when Maya calls Addison in a panic and tells her she needs her help. Maya’s friend is bleeding out. The girl has a bad case of gonorrhea & an ectopic pregnancy, and nearly bleeds to death. Naomi finds out and has words with Addison saying that Addison’s obligation should have been to their friendship. The two make up and Naomi decides to brush up on her parenting skills.
Despite the fact that I’ve seen all these storylines on GREY’S ANATOMY & ER in the past couple of years I sort of liked them anyways. I just hope that producers have something up their sleeve that’s new before I kill myself from boredom, wouldn’t you agree?