Friday, October 26, 2007 Rant Archive
Ok, so maybe you’re not embarrassed to watch any film. Maybe you’re proud to admit that you watch POKEMON, THE MOVIE twice a week. I on the other hand have a modicum of self respect and would like to go to my death without the entire world knowing that I get Van Damme fever because his movies maintain a level of hilarious that never gets old.
Regardless of the fact that these are some of the most entertaining movies around, they’re not movie titles you throw around when you are with your posh film buff friends for fear of them shunning you for your terrible taste. These people are usually boring and worthless friends anyways. Here I’ve compiled a list of 6 movies that can stop me in my tracks and make me late for work if I see they’re on. Amazing.
Last season on SCRUBS, after learning Kim (Elizabeth Banks) was still pregnant; J.D. (Zach Braff) decides to give the relationship another try. But, just like with every relationship he’s ever been in, he can’t stay committed and ends up lying in a small cot next to Elliot (Sarah Chalke). As the music swells, and the credits roll, the two go in for a kiss.
Tonight, Elliot and J.D. continue to inch towards one another and the familiar sound of J.D.’s voice-over fills the air. They don’t kiss. I’m sorry if I ruined it for anyone, but I knew it wouldn’t happen. Creator Bill Lawrence said a few years back that these two would never get together again, and it’s nice to see him sticking to his word.
This is the last season of one of my favorite shows on television, and it’s nice to see it’s off to a decently funny start. Elliot finally comes to terms with the idea of not marrying Keith (Travis Schuldt), and J.D. decides that he must try not to sabotage himself. Meanwhile, Turk (Donald Faison) and Dr. Cox (John C. McGinley) are trying to figure out what’s wrong with the greatest patient they’ve ever had. Just call him Joe.
There are certain traditions on SURVIVOR. The letters from home episode which has evolved to an actual person from home- this one guarantees a lot of blubbering; the final three players paying homage to their fallen competitors and mustering false levels of sincerity (this one is my favorite, I’m planning a 5000 word opus on this season’s when it comes up); and the episode that launched the rebirth of Joe Rogan’s career and inspired FEAR FACTOR- people forced to eat disgusting things.
But that was tonight’s immunity challenge. The reward challenge came first and the prize was for an afternoon of pampering and product placement in a Chinese tea house. Fei Long won the challenge easily but the interesting moment came when former Zhan Hu member Sherea found herself alone with current Zhan Hu member Peih-Gee and Peih-Gee told her about their throwing of the last immunity challenge to save Sherea and Frosti. Sherea barely acknowledged her. This became important later.
Of all the gin joints in all the world … OK, maybe not, but that’s the first thing one of the support group around Clark (Tom Welling) should have thought when Hollywood came knocking at the Kent farm. Apparently, somebody thought the Kansas plains made a great location to film the Warrior Angel movie, so now Clark and Chloe (Allison Mack) get to watch the magic of movies up close and personal. This is all cool, until the leading lady, Rachel Davenport (Christina Milian), nearly gets killed in a car stunt gone awry. Fortunately, Clark’s there to save her bacon.
Soon after, we see Lois (Erica Durance) get slapped down by her editor for wanting to investigate Lex (Michael Rosenbaum) and his supposed new leaf, we switch to a cabin out in the boonies. Who’s in the cabin, you ask? Why, our friend Lionel (John Glover), looking like hammered crap and twice as pale, who comes out of his coma to find himself in a scene out of MISERY, pinned to a bed with a bear trap on his arm. Ow.
"Why hello there Clarice... tell me, would you like to see a movie which will make your beat? Pit-pat, Clarice, pit-pat, pit-pat... "
Okay, so that’s just my (terrible) rendition of Sir Anthony Hopkins doing Hannibal Lector doing famed suspense film auteur Alfred Hitchcock. In real life the Oscar-winning actor will surely bring a much sharper interpretation of Hitchcock to the screen for a biopic of the master of suspense, tentatively titled ALFRED HITCHCOCK PRESENTS.
The film will pair Hopkins with NIP/TUCK creator Ryan Murphy, who is expected to direct. Hopkins recently sat down with MTV news (see video below) to confirm his role in the project, and even to show-off a bit of his Hitchcock impersonation. All in all it wasn’t too bad. Probably why the man can to sleep with an Oscar in his arms.
‘HITCHCOCK PRESENTS will focus on the filmmaker’s life around the late fifties, at the time when he was jumping through many hoops, trying make what would later become one of his most successful and defining films, the 1960 classic PSYCHO. For those who are not buffs of cinematic history, PSYCHO was largely viewed as a lost cause at the time of its conception. The subject matter -- the exploits of a depraved, cross-dressing serial killer -- was seen as way too dark and violent for audiences, and Hitchcock's choice to brutally kill-off the star of the film (Janet Leigh) 45 minutes into the feature was thought to be box office suicide. Oh if only the studio suits could’ve known then what we all know now: that Hitchcock had struck gold. By guarding the film’s twists closely and doing some clever marketing, Hitchcock made PSYCHO into a phenomenon, which is still an enduring classic, sparking a so-so remake in 1998.
For those of you who were enjoying the longer episodes, that streak came to an end on Thursday as we’re back to the half-hour format for the foreseeable future. I count myself among the crowd that was really digging the double shot of OFFICE humor, but what can you do? It was a hard adjustment, however, after being spoiled for this first month of the season. (It does mean that I get to bed a little earlier though.)
This week’s episode kept the action almost entirely at the Scranton branch, which is pretty unheard of at this point in the series. And I have to say it was a good one, continuing what’s been a stellar start to the fourth season. I’m also happy to report that I should be able to get the summary out of the way much faster than I have in weeks past. Ryan sends a couple creatives from the advertising department down to the office to film a commercial for Dunder Mifflin to be shown on local television and it’s clear that Michael intends to take the reins. Pam has been doing some animation work at art school so she volunteers to handle the logo. As Michael begins to fire off increasingly absurd ideas to the commercial crew, the creatives inform him that the commercial is pretty much all done – they’re just there to get the employees in for a final shot at the end. Naturally, Michael immediately calls up Ryan and complains, and naturally Ryan doesn’t care. He sends the ad people packing and goes over Ryan’s head to request that the Scranton team be given a shot at making their own commercial. He has one day.