By Sabrina Cognata

How’s the saying go ... "What a tangled web we weave when we set out to deceive?"  At any rate, Tommy (Jason Clarke) proves he’s no better than his thug brother and whoring wife this week when he starts schtooping the blonde he met at the bar.  Because Tom rides high on his house up there in perfectsville he has to point out to his new other woman that she is the only other woman he’s ever been with outside of his wife.  Congratulations Tom, you’re a 14-year-old girl.  As he keeps up his visits with her she tells him no more face-to-face sex because she doesn’t want to see the rage in his eyes.  Good going genius, let him know all you want is the thunder—there’s a way to improve things.

Mama Caffee (Fionula Flanagan) does her best to put a rift between the brothers during Sunday dinner.  Could this woman be any more of a controlling, manipulative bitch?  She gets pissed off at Michael (Jason Issacs) for catching him kissing his girlfriend and decides to let Tom sit at the head of the table at dinner, a seat commonly held by Michael, the eldest brother.  Good old cousin Colin does nothing to make matters better as he brings up to Michael how Rose was out of line doing that to him.  Michael’s passive aggressive side gets the better of him and he dumps the body of a mob hit he does on some of Tom’s land.  Doing this screws with the stasis of major financial plans Tom had for the area and moreover, a multi-million dollar investment plan he was in the middle of settling. 


Now another Rose is up to no good entirely.  Mary Rose (Fiona C. Erickson), Tom’s daughter, decides to steal her grandmother’s car and take it to Massachusetts to go to a party.  I guess being a Caffee means you think you can get away with anything cause this little chickadee doesn’t have a license and smashes the hell out of that car.  She goes to her ask her uncle for help, but he’s busy helping Tom commit career suicide and so she has to tell his girlfriend, Mona (Francine Maria Bouska), who calls her mother, Eileen (Annabeth Gish).  Oddly enough, trying to dispose of Rose’s crappy car brings the two women together and establishes a friendship. 

The best storyline going on that isn’t Michael turning into a retard since his brains got bashed in, it’s Declan (Ethan Embry) going rogue as he’s agreed to become a double agent.  Now he’s in the employment of the state of Rhode Island and Freddie Fingers.  This means he’s everyone’s bitch and doing all sorts of nothing that he doesn’t want to do.  Freddie tells Declan to deal with a competing whore house run by some Asians.  Declan tries to be fair and impartial when doing this, but stupid Moe goes crazy and starts shooting the place up.  After this happens, Declan has to reevaluate how he’s doing things and finally switches gears, beating up the Asian pimp telling him not to mess with Freddie Fingers or the Rhode Island State Police.  Hilarity. 


Freddie Fingers loses it when he realizes that Michael’s little body dumping stunt is going to cost him money and work, but mostly the money is the problem.  Freddie takes it up with Michael and tells him he’s messing up all over the place and he’s putting an end to it by taking money out of Michael’s pocket.  Michael starts to argue and then realizes it’s futile to do so and accepts the fact that he screwed up. 

Next week we get to watch the Caffee family further descend into social and economical hell as they all go out of their way to creatively screw themselves over, know what I mean?