By David Valdes
Every now and then, DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES delivers a rough episode. These are not bad episodes so much as they are uneven in tone and content. On a show famous for its flawless aesthetic and clever way of telling stories that all fit a single overarching theme, episodes like these stick out like a sore thumb. And let me tell you, Sunday's offering - about pests - was definitely one of these episodes.
That’s not to say a lot didn’t happen, though. First off, we were introduced to Bob and Lee, Wisteria’s brand new gay neighbors. While introducing herself, Susan makes so many faux pas it’s almost unbelievable. She tells Lee that she “gets” the whole gay thing because “I watch a lot of cable.” I loved watching Lee become so turned off by Susan’s demeanor and repeated attempts at making them like her. How refreshing that someone finally let her know that her “adorable klutz” shtick is, in fact, not adorable. Even though I can already see the new couple fleeing town by midseason, I hope Bob and Lee stick around for a little while as the voices of reason on Wisteria Lane.
Much to Tom’s enjoyment, Lynette regained her sexual mojo this week. Their first go at lovemaking since Lynette finished off her most recent round of chemotherapy turned sour when Lynette's wig came off. Tom just couldn't stand the sight of her bald head during sex. Would it be wrong to say I don't blame him? There is no use skirting around the fact that cancer isn't sexy. Don't worry about these two, though, because they rekindle things soon after when Lynette comes home as Brandi, a naughty red-headed cheerleader. Things come full circle by episode's end when Tom and Lynette talk it out and have themselves some bald-headed sex. Gotta love those Scavos!
Edie, Carlos, Gaby and Victor spent the episode worrying about crabs. Yes, like the ones that infest people...down there. On the one hand, I applaud HOUSEWIVES for taking a scandalous and trying to make it work. On the other, I'm disappointed by how sorely unamusing the whole ordeal was. You see, Edie contracted the crabs in a tanning bed or something. She then passed them on to Carlos, who gave them to Gaby (with whom he is having an affair), who then gave the crabs to her husband, Victor. Gaby has to rub Victor down with a crabs-killing lotion she tells him is an exotic massage oil. Edie has to comb her down-theres with a fine-tooth crabs-comb. This all has the potential to be splendidly tacky and amusing, but somehow it's just not.
And then there's Bree, whose insistence that the ladies not throw her a baby shower results in - you guessed it - a baby shower. Andrew helps facilitate the party-planning to get back at Bree for not letting him keep a scooter. Somehow, Andrew and Danielle's paternal grandmother gets invited to the party. Which is weird because it's (supposedly) a party for the baby Bree is having with her new husband. Nonetheless, Grandma Rex comes by and party-crashes. She also makes her way upstairs and finds Bree's fake pregnancy pads. Uh oh. We'll see how that develops.
Not much new happened on the Katherine front, other than her dying aunt Lily coming and hinting at information we already know. For instance, Katherine did something awful inside that forbidden bedroom in her house and the covered it up. Dylan knows nothing. The only real development was that Aunt Lily seemed to have to written the truth about what happened on a piece of paper she dropped under the bed before dying.
A lot of people gripe about the Mary Alice narrations. They wonder why DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES feels the need to spell out the week's moral. Personally, I enjoy these wrap-ups. When they work, they make everything feel cohesive. When they don't work, well, you get a forced end-of-episode narration about pests.