By Faith McQuinn

It’s amazing the things you learn on television. Did you know the best way to end a relationship with the woman having your baby is to tell her you will hopefully one day fall in love with her when she’s in the middle of labor? Did you know that the Janitor (Neil Flynn) and Kelso (Ken Jenkins) could be friends, but only at night? Did you also know that Australian singers pop out of wombs just for kicks? No? Then you need to catch up.

Tonight, J.D. (Zach Braff) and Kim (Elizabeth Banks) have their son, but not before ending their doomed relationship. J.D. has been avoiding the L word with Kim for weeks, and now, while she’s in labor, she tells J.D. “I love you.” What’s his answer? “That’s cool.” Way to go, man. On top of breaking her heart, J.D. forgets about the epidural. Kim, in a long tradition of TV labor scenes, has to go through the labor naturally.

Honestly, this is all for the best. Not the pain, but the couple breaking it off. I was actually cringing at the idea of dealing with Kim and J.D. being together for the rest of the season. This way, he can be a dad and still date (well, try to date at least). Far better TV, don’t you think? Maybe now they’re not together, Bill Lawrence can break his promise of keeping Elliot (Sarah Chalke) and J.D. apart.


While J.D. is off becoming a parent, Turk (Donald Faison) and Carla (Judy Reyes) are having a good time not being parents for a while. Carla, to the delight of men everywhere, actually plays a video game with Turk. Not only does she play, she’s really good. I think my husband may have drooled a little. Keep dreaming honey; that will never be me.

Perry (John C. McGinley) makes his usual life inspiring rant that brings J.D. around, but not before encountered the best reoccurring extra since the guy with the hook—the intern with the annoying voice. She’s tiny. She’s adorable. And that voice better not be her real one.

I digress. With Perry’s inspirational words, J.D. goes back into the room and actually witnesses the birth of little Sammy. And he and Kim come to happy terms with their relationship. No, they’re not going to stay together, but they will be parents together. Cue collective happy sigh.

On a completely unfunny note, Keith (Travis Schudlt) still loathes Elliot. It was only slightly funny at first. Now, I’m done with Keith. His only reason for being was his attachment to Elliot. It’s over. Can we please move on?


On a completely random note, Aloma Wright, the woman who played Laverne, makes a cameo appearance. She walks into the delivery room wearing a mask. J.D. comments that she looks familiar, and that’s that. What the hell? Did she just drop by to say hello and they threw in front of the camera? Weird. But still appreciated.

Now that they’re two babies in the picture, I’m sure there will be lots of Turk and J.D. dad moments. Can’t you just see it? Instead of bonding over a beer and an apple-tini, they bond over dirty diapers. As long as this show doesn’t fast forward into the future to show Isabelle and Sammy getting married, I’m along for the ride. OK, maybe one fast forward is fine…as long as it’s funny.