By David Valdes
Danielle had her baby! Lynette beat cancer! Carlos left Edie! Gaby left Victor!
The previews for this week's episode of DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES made it look like "the Halloween episode," an excuse to deviate from the set course of all plots and just exist for the sake of fun and holiday spirit. How gratifying, then, that what we actually got was a tour de force episode full of plot development, laughs and even a few touching moments.
The episode began with news that Bob and Lee, the resident gaybors, would be hosting a Halloween party. Judging by their over-the-top lawn decorations, the party was bound to be an affair to remember. Just last week, we learned that the couple spent over 20,000 dollars on an ugly lawn sculpture. This week, their lawn is covered with countless giant pumpkins and expensive-looking Halloween decorations. I'd like to see their annual budget because damn these two like a festive lawn.
Elsewhere on Wisteria, Carlos was leaving Edie. Of course, she caught him in the act and tried to blackmail him into staying. Without saying it, Edie implied that if Carlos left she would tell the IRS about his offshore bank accounts. Clearly, Carlos had planned for this because he seemed rather calm when assuring her that it was over and "I won." The look on her face when Carlos made that proclamation was priceless. I must say I enjoy scorned and vengeful Edie way more than emotional and lovestruck Edie. Sure, it was interesting watching her take center stage during Marcia Cross's season 3 absence but I'm glad to see the return of sassy, bitchy, B-plot Edie. The character just works better as a foil instead of a leading lady.
Meanwhile, Gaby was content as could be as she broke up with Victor via hotel voicemail. I liked how she even found time to answer call waiting mid-breakup message. Only Gaby! The thing is, we all know Victor is trouble and that he won't take this lying down. Especially not after Edie showed him the pictures of Carlos and Gaby kissing each other. Yeah, she totally went there.
Leave it to the writers at DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES to turn a silly subplot that has Lynette trying to kill a possum in her garden into a metaphor for beating cancer. I went from hating this storyline to loving it by episode's end. When Tom asks Lynette why she is so hung up on killing the lawn pest, she loses it. Her reply: "Something has attacked our home and when that happens you don't just standby. You fight it. Screw this creature that has come into our lives uninvited and is trying to destroy us. It will not defeat me." Heavy handed? Definitely. But there is no line so silly that Felicity Huffman can't make it sound prolific. After finding out from a doctor's housecall that she was cancer-free, Lynette stepped outside and breathed in the night air. Huffman's gravitas as well as the musical score helped a ton, but there was just something ethereal and dreamlike about this scene. Beautiful work.
Another surprisingly emotional scene featured Bree and Danielle after the baby was born. The whole scenario was played for laughs, from Danielle's water breaking at the party to Katherine's husband (dressed as Frankenstein's monster) delivering the baby in Bree's kitchen. This storyline was a far-fetched one, what with Bree wearing the fake pregnancy padding and purporting to be the expectant mother, but the writers were wise to give it all a touching conclusion. Danielle had a heart for her baby boy after all, and Bree found herself at a loss over how to handle the situation. "What should I do?" she asked her daughter as she watched her bond with her newborn son. Maybe it's formulaic the way this lures you in with laughs and the socks you upside the head with emotions, but I fall for it every time, don't you?
And then there was Susan, who learned that Mike's father (the pitch-perfect Robert Forster) was still alive. Mike had lied about his death because the truth was too painful: his father was serving a lifelong jail sentence for murdering a man in cold blood. Is it wrong that all I could think of during Mr. Delfino's monologue about murdering his boss was how likable the guys was? In any case, the result was a horrified Susan who worries her unborn baby has the genes of remorseless killer. Mike's dad gave Susan some cryptic advice to keep an eye on Mike because, underneath everything, he is dark and damaged. If the random scene in which Mike popped a prescription pill is any indication, I'm sensing a drug problem storyline in the near future.
Finally, it's a three-way tie for best line of the night. Which was most funny readers? Bree's advice to Lynette about where to buy a gun ("Try Gun City on Route 6 by the Baptist Church. Tell them I sent you and they'll give you a nice discount.")? Or was it Lee's remarks about Katherine's Marie Antoinette Halloween costume ("You came as a self-important queen who lost all her power. Isn't that a bit on the nose!")? Or Gaby's reaction to learning Carlos kept his secret accounts hidden from her during their first marriage ("Carlos, we were married. I was entitled to half of everything you embezzled!")?