By Brandon Nolta
THE SIMPSONS, “Treehouse of Horror XVIII”: That’s right, when Halloween comes around, it’s time to climb back into the Treehouse of Horror yet again. The fact that it probably should have aired last week … well, how much more Simpsonian does it get? Three parodies this year: First up is a takeoff on E.T., whereupon Kodos the Destroyer is found by Bart in the shed and begins his plan to serve up humanity on a platter. Literally. Fortunately, human weaponry turns out to be sufficient to completely lay waste to Kodos and his buds. As a bonus, Homer gets to take part in a vivisection. What luck!
Next up for the Simpson treatment is MR. AND MRS. SMITH, wherein Homer and Marge turn out to be competing assassins. Unfortunately, Homer works for Mr. Burns, automatically giving Marge the upper hand by any conceivable measure. Like in the source movie, there’s lots of violence, bullets and sex. Sadly, none of it features Angelina Jolie. But, on the bright side, Skinner gets shot. In the third segment, Flanders decides Bart, Nelson, Milhouse and Lisa are having too many Halloween hijinks, so he gives them a forced tour of Hell House to scare them straight. Did it work? Beats the hell out of me; that segment was so nondescript it slid right out of my memory as soon as it was over. First two were good, though.
FAMILY GUY, “100th Episode Special”: Basically, it’s a bunch of clips from various episodes hooked together with a satirical interstitial device of regular, salt-of-the-earth people—or as Mel Brooks put it, morons—being asked their opinions on the show. Does that sound dull to you? If so, then I’ve captured the feel exactly. Seth MacFarlane is usually a funny fellow, so he must have been overworked and under the gun to crank this piece of crap out. Many of the clips are funny in their own right, but taken out of context, it’s tough to give a rat’s ass about most of them. The interstitial clips have moments of satirical wit, but my overall impression is that more thought went into this paragraph on the show than the show itself. Fortunately, there’s an actual episode coming up. Maybe they took some effort with that one, the lazy bastards.
FAMILY GUY, “Stewie Kills Lois”: This is the actual 100th episode of the show, and it only takes a minute to show more smarts and humor than the entire special managed in thirty. It’s birthday time for Lois, and the family manages to fail spectacularly at giving gifts, except for Brian, who comes up with cruise tickets. Unfortunately, Lois takes Peter on the cruise, and Stewie, who hates being left behind, comes up with plan #832 to get rid of Lois. Brian calls him on the “all talk, no action” aspect of his plans, which inspires Stewie to act on his homicidal tendencies for once. Amazingly, for faithful fans of the show, Stewie actually carries it out, blowing Lois off the cruise ship with a lead salad.
Six days later, the police officially call off the search, and the Griffin family has to learn to live without Lois. A year goes by, and the family’s more or less adjusted, except for Chris, who thinks his mom’s on a real long vacation. Brian figures out Stewie did it (it took him a year?) and vows to expose him. Thus begins the cat-and-mouse game … well, dog-and-baby game between Brian and Stewie. Will Stewie successfully ditch the evidence? Will Peter get framed for the murder? Will the creepy old pervert down the street find some other teenage boy to obsess over? Yes, yes, and I don’t even want to imagine. But, there’s a surprise in store, as someone shows up unexpectedly at Peter’s trial to challenge the official story, and set up the cliffhanger for next week. Tune in next week for the thrilling conclusion!
AMERICAN DAD, “Big Trouble in Little Langley”: Dinner time at the Smith house is going along about as well as you’d imagine, between Hayley’s cold sore and Stan’s usual inanity, when an unpleasant surprise arrives: Francine’s adoptive parents. Considering Stan’s usual broad-minded self, in-laws would be bad enough, but Francine’s folks are Chinese, and manage to embody all the usual clichés while proudly not assimilating, as Stan sees it. They’re staying for the weekend, but any length of time greater than thirty minutes is too much for Stan, who decides on a quest: find Francine’s biological parents.
Meanwhile, in order to cop a feel with a hot classmate, Steve embarks on a mission to injure people. I could explain this in detail, but that sentence’s just too evocative to mess with. Since Roger turns out to be fireproof (Stan and Roger discover this in a nutty but successful attempt to find Francine’s birth records), Steve enlists him in his scheme, but ends up blowing his thumb off with a firework Francine’s adoptive dad gave him. While Roger and Steve presumably head off to the hospital, Stan gets to know Francine’s birth parents, who are rich white conservatives. Yes, Stan’s favorite people.
However, they tell Stan they can’t continue a relationship with him without meeting Francine, and she doesn’t want to meet them. What is a halfwit CIA employee to do? Mop up the duck grease, engineer the Chinese parents’ ejection from Francine’s life and invite her real parents over, that’s what. The fact that the rich white conservatives turn out to be monstrously selfish bungholes is just icing on the cake. Surprisingly, Stan has a moment where he experiences good sense, and the episode ends happily. Good thing I was sitting down, or I’d have fallen over. Overall, a slice of fried gold.