By Faith McQuinn
It’s finally time for Michael (Wentworth Miller) and Whistler (Chris Vance) to break out. Plans have been made, traps have been set, and it’s all going down at 3:13 in the middle of the day.
I have been waiting all season for this episode. I’ve wanted to get out of Sona prison and on the run probably more than Michael and Whistler combined. Sorry to spoil the surprise, it isn’t going to happen in this hour of television.
Turns out that fight Michael challenged Whistler to was indeed a new distraction. They won’t have to fight to the death because they’re going to be halfway to the beach by the time they need to be in the yard. Right? Haha. That’s hilarious.
After all of Michael’s careful planning—electrifying the fence, getting Sucre (Amaury Nolasco) work at the prison, setting up the guard with some bad coffee—what foils all their plans but a cloud in the sky. A cloud?! Isn’t it always Mother Nature biting you in the ass when you’re trying to escape from prison? So now the men are stuck in the prison facing a fight to the death. They think they can possible wait it out, not really kill each other, and maybe no one will care. Yeah, because that always works in a prison like Sona. No one really wants to see anyone die. After getting booed and threatened, Whistler and Michael finally go at it. Soon, Michael is on the ground and Whislter has a rock in his hand. Michael is ready to die, but of course, in an utterly predictable moment, a guard catches sight of their makeshift ladder and the alarm sounds.
No one is dying today, at least no one important to the plot.
As the alarm goes off, Susan B. Anthony (Jodi Lyn O’Keefe) starts to get a little frantic. Alarms are sounding and there’s no sign of her prisoner. Lincoln (Dominic Purcell) tries to buy some time by saying that he’s bringing Whistler to her. She’s not biting, and Lincoln doesn’t get LJ (Marshall Allman) back. This is one of my favorite things about Lincoln. He’s so incredibly worried about his son that he risks his life to make sure he’s safe. Sucre crashes the kidnap van for him, and Lincoln has every opportunity to kill Susan and what does he do? He hesitates! Is it written somewhere in dramatic television law that no one is allowed to just walk up and shoot someone in the head? No. Things must be dragged out, crying fits must be had, and the hostage has to stay captive until the end of the season.
Back inside the walls of Sona, Lachero (Robert Wisdom) has just been taken down a few notches by the head guard. He no longer has the respect he once had, and now it’s time for him to leave…with Michael’s help of course. Because what would be harder than breaking out of Sona but breaking out of Sona with one of its most recognized prisoners?
After all the predictable and cliché plot twists and all the dramatics, something truly interesting happens in the last two minutes of the episode. I watched two hours of ho-hum television for these two minutes. Susan B. Anthony, who’s real name is Gretchen, comes to visit Whistler. He says that he needs four days to get out and all will be well.
OK. You got me. I’m interested. But if this turns out to be some weak plot point that’s just going to keep me entertained for half an episode, I will not be amused.