Thursday, November 08, 2007 Rant Archive
Imagine, just for a moment, you are a South Korean businessman named Oh (Min-sik Choi). You’re a better drunk than you are a businessman, and you’re stumbling home, late for your daughter’s birthday, when you get arrested for being drunk and stupid in public. Your friend No (Ji Dae-han) bails your ass out of the pen, and while he’s on the phone, trying to placate your wife, somebody spirits you away. You wake up in a hotel room, locked away from the world, a TV your only source of information. Occasionally, you try to kill yourself, which gets you gassed into unconsciousness, only to wake up shaved and groomed. You eat the same fried dumplings every day, watch the TV until you’re sick of it, work out and practice shadowboxing to exhaustion. The news says your wife was murdered, and you’re the prime suspect. Time passes; 15 years’ worth of it. One day, you’re set free, no explanation. All you have is a new suit, your diaries, and a list of people who may hate you enough to do this. What now?
That is the setup to OLDBOY, Chan-wook Park’s 2003 meditation on violence and vengeance, and one of the coolest, and weirdest, thrillers ever committed to film. Soon after his release, Oh decides to track down his captor and find out what the hell is going on. With only the sense memory of fried dumplings to start with, Oh goes on a search for the whack job who kept him penned. Along the way, he meets sympathetic chef Mi-do (Hye-jeong Kang), who helps him on his quest and falls in love with the taciturn Oh. So far, we think we know how this is going to shake out, and then the first of several twists appears: Oh’s captor Lee (Ji-tae Yu) makes himself known to Oh, and offers him a challenge: find out why he was captured, and Lee will commit suicide. Fail to meet Lee’s deadline, Mi-do dies.
Tonight we get more entertainment than we’re used to, when the kids put on a stage show. It is sheer boredom that leads them to take these extreme measures, but honestly, what kid hasn’t put on a show or two and forced all the adults to sit still and watch it? I know I put on a few, in my younger days. But, besides giving them something to do with their time, a stage show can also draw these kids together. Let’s face it there have been some down and dirty tactics by some of the children of Bonanza City, and I’m speaking specifically of Taylor and Greg here. Maybe putting on a show will get them to learn a little bit more about teamwork. Either that or they’re will be fireworks between them all when these two try to take over and run the whole shindig. But there is more going on in tonight’s episode of KID NATION than just a show.
Kentucky natives Kennedy and Savannah prepare a Southern feast for the town as well. I’m not sure how it tasted, but anything has to be better than the like of preparation Taylor usually gives the meals. Besides, doesn’t most of Southern cooking involve deep frying your food? Everybody knows you could deep fry a finger and it would taste good, so I have a feeling these girls dinner will go over like gangbusters. Of course, that doesn’t mean the kids aren’t still craving down home cooking from their own region of the United States. I mean if I were on that show, I’d be dying for some fresh sushi. Be that as it may, a home cooked meal is a home cooked meal, regardless of who’s cooking it.
The Heather backlash has begun on tonight’s episode of AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL. It was bound to happen. For those of you out of the loop, let me briefly summarize. Heather is the absolutely stunning, intelligent girl who suffers from Asperger’s syndrome. At first it seemed as if the judges were afraid to critique her because of the disease, but her pictures have been so flawless and subtle that now she has become the clear frontrunner. Seemingly popular in the house after a couple of initial hiccups, some of the ballsier girls are now curdling towards her. There’s no all out hostility yet, but it’s brewing.
Bianca is the leader of the ant-Heathers. Why’s it always got to be the New York girls who are jealous? And why do they cloak it under the veil of “honesty”? Tonight, early in the episode, Bianca lets loose on Heather to her face. The girls are gathered in the hot tub, except for Heather who looms over it like an awkward bird of prey. Bianca has no sympathy for Heather because she has a “disability.” Looking Heather square in the eye, Bianca takes a deep breath and says that Heather is coasting on her amazing face. In many seasons past the recipient of such criticism would surely cry, throw something, or otherwise have a fit. Heather calmly tells Bianca that she is wrong. Heather is an artist, and she actually thinks about how the picture will look. She uses her body to make art. From any other girl, I would gag at this pretentiousness, but Heather is being honest, and it’s working for her.
Chef Ramsey is back! After taking a two-week hiatus due to the World Series, KITCHEN NIGHTMARES is back with another disastrous restaurant in need of major help. This week they move on to Burbank, California, and I shudder to think what my hometown has in store for this formidable Chef. After watching some miraculous turnarounds for what must be some of the world’s most disgusting and downright dangerous restaurants in New York, I’m keeping my fingers crossed that California won’t be as bad. That being said, this is KITCHEN NIGHTMARES, which means it isn’t going to be pretty. After all, helping a restaurant that just needs a few minor tweaks doesn’t make for riveting TV. What does make for good TV, however, is poor service and a complicated menu, which is what Gordon Ramsey is up against tonight.
We see this complicated menu issue a lot on this show. It never ceases to amaze me how restaurant owners don’t know that they should have a clear direction as far as the food is concerned. Even the fanciest of restaurants keep the menu to a manageable minimum. As a frequent diner myself, I can’t stand too many choices, especially if I’m at a themed restaurant. I mean if I’m going to someplace that is supposed to serve French cuisine, I don’t want to see a fancy hamburger on the menu. On top of that, some of these restaurants are making complicated dishes that are usually hit and miss, as far as quality is concerned. I think chef Ramsey’s taught us all that it is better to have three or four items that you make really well than 10 or 12 that are just so-so. Maybe the fact that so many restaurants make the same mistake is the reason why Gordon is so good at fixing the problems. He really ends up telling them all the same thing, which may sound boring, but when delivered by this crazy chef, is more than entertaining.