Friday, November 09, 2007 Rant Archive
LIONS FOR LAMBS may not be a movie for all time, but it certainly is a movie for these times. It is actually three separate stories interwoven together as tightly as a girl’s braid -- about politics, about the media and about the responsibility we as individuals have as citizens in a democracy. It is a serious film that is as exciting as any adventure flick; and if art is supposed to provoke debate, then LION FOR LAMBS qualifies as art.
Sen. Jasper Irving (Tom Cruise) invites TV journalist Janine Roth (Meryl Streep) to his office. Irving, a graduate of West Point, is a Presidential hopeful. Roth once called him a comer in the Republican Party, and ostensibly Irving is repaying the favor by offering her a scoop about a new military policy in Afghanistan; small platoon-size groups of Special Forces soldiers are being sent to claim the high ground before the snow melts and enemy combatants can get to them.
At the same time on the West Coast, political science Prof. Stephen Malley (Robert Redford) calls one of his students, Todd Hayes (Andrew Garfield), to his office. Malley, in his late 50s and a Vietnam vet, is increasingly frustrated by the students he teaches. They no longer have the fire in their eyes the way his generation did. At one time, Hayes was different; he came to class passionate about the subjects being discussed. But like many of his classmates, he’s become apathetic, less concerned with government than with how to become a wealthy investment banker. Malley hopes to re-engage him.
Stephen Baldwin, Roger Clinton, Frank Stallone. They’re all in a self-help group called Siblings Anonymous. And if you think they’ve got it bad, consider FRED CLAUS (Vince Vaughn), always overshadowed by his younger brother Nick (Paul Giamatti).
That is the premise of this silly confection (and I mean that in the best possible way), about Santa’s no account, scheming big brother. Fortunately, we know Fred is basically a good guy because he’s kind to a young child who lives next door. Also Wanda (Rachel Weisz) is his girl friend, and she wouldn’t go out with a bum. So the chances are good that all will end well.
The question is will we laugh along the way? The answer is a resounding yes. We’re not talking intellectual comedy here. A couple of dozen angry Salvation Army Santas chasing Fred down the streets of Chicago and pummeling him when they catch him is not everyone’s idea of joyous Holiday humor. But, then, not everyone has a sophisticated sense of the absurd. As you and I do.
The film is driven by Vaughn’s verbal and physical gymnastics. He is the greatest film comic since Jerry Lewis – are you listening French people – who raises the level of every film he’s in. He stands head and shoulders above his competition, including Ben Stiller. But then he’s about 6’5” so he pretty much stands head and shoulders above everybody.
In FRED CLAUS the problem is that Fred needs money badly and quickly to open a business. He doesn’t get along with his family, so it kills him to ask Nicholas for a loan. His brother reluctantly agrees to provide the cash, but only if Fred comes to the North Pole to help with last-minute production. Demand for gifts is up sharply and there’s only so much the elves can do.
I am seriously trying to figure out why this episode is called Red Eye at Morning, and maybe I was high while watching it, but I have absolutely no idea. Turns out I don’t even care because Dean (Jensen Ackles) is as cute as he ever was this week. Seriously, can someone get me this dude’s number he’s like my dreamboat. P.S. It wouldn’t hurt if he wore the leather jacket, showed up in the car and carried a sawed off shotgun. Regardless of my fantasies, this weeks episode was sort of boring. Turns out, the ghosts of pissed off pirates from the days of yore are not all that exciting. Probably because all of Hollywood has overdone that scenario a million times over. CAN WE GET BACK TO THE DEMONS? I am seriously dying to know what is up with Ruby the demon & why does she act like she’s helping Sam (Jared Padalecki). Also, I need to know how they’re going to save Dean. If Dean dies off this show I’ll never watch it again. There’s plenty of lame programming with cute lead actors for me to watch.
So back to the dead pirate haunting. He’s a pirate. He’s pissed off & if you see his pirate ship you’re going to die. Sounds simple enough, doesn’t it? Sophie is a local piece of ass and she’s doing her nightly jog when she sees the pirate ship. Later in the shower the pirate attacks her and she drowns. Boo hoo for stupid Sophie. Sam & Dean Winchester catch wind of the “murder” and head into town. On their way Dean confronts Sam about the missing bullet out of the colt and tells Sam to give up trying to save him. They argue and disagree about saving Dean from his untimely demise that’s creeping up around the corner. Once in town, they speak with Sophie’s grandmother. She tells them Alex has already spoken to her about the mysterious circumstances surrounding Sophie’s death and that it might have something to do with paranormal conditions. Then the old cougar starts rubbing Sam’s hand and I got to laugh my ass off at the fact that the roles are reversed and some chick isn’t getting felt up by old man river for a change.
I guess most of Americans have suffered intellectual trauma by way of the Disneyification of fairy tales because it wasn’t apparent to people that Grimm Fairy Tales, were just that, grim. Sam (Jared Padelecki) & Dean (Jensen Ackles) Winchester stumbled upon a news article talking about a possible werewolf attack so they head out to check the details of the attack. The survivor, one of three brothers arguing over the most efficient way to build houses says a man with a tattoo of Wyle Coyote on his bicep appeared out of nowhere and mauled his brothers, killing them. Sam asks specific questions pertaining to a werewolf attack, but the victim shoots them down, saying his brother’s are dead and this isn’t some sort of joke. Sam and Dean look at each other, relating because they know that Sam & Dean have both died in the past year, and Dean’s number is coming up shortly.
Oh, hand me a barf bag. When an episode opens with Lana (Kristin Kreuk) and Clark (Tom Welling) riding horses across a field as sensitive-guy music plays in the background, the precious meter just pegs into the red for me. Then comes some sappy dialogue, and a thunderstorm, and … wait a minute. Who left the kryptonite on the ground? Suddenly, Lana grabs the kryptonite, a lightning bolt hits the windmill Clark happens to be leaning against and, in a plot twist we saw about four or five seasons ago, Clark’s abilities get transferred into some unsuspecting mortal. In this case, it’s Lana.
Well, maybe we don’t need the barf bag now. Despite the twist being recycled, the cast and crew run with it. For one thing, Clark didn’t lose his abilities, so he and Lana are on equal footing for once. How do they test this out? Guess. For once, the earth really does move. Of course, this leads directly into awkward moment #57, when Clark discovers that Chloe (Allison Mack) and Lana discuss sex with the superpowered set. Anyway, after the high of no longer being Clark’s woman of Kleenex subsides, Lana starts thinking about what she could do with these powers. Her answer: Turn to her surveillance of Lex’s (Michael Rosenbaum) house for inspiration, then run over and steal the liquefied remains of Brainiac’s ship. Since it exhibits signs of sentient behavior, the odds that it’s actually Brainiac in a can seems pretty damn high.
I’m sure everyone out there is excited to hear George Miller’s 4th installment of the Mad Max series, MAD MAX 4: FURY ROAD is back in production as of last week. The movies sort of like every major relationship I’ve ever had, on-again & off-again. Up until last week, word was the movie had been placed on permanent hiatus. Well, we all know the sort of finished product that results when this sort of situation arises in Hollywood.
According to the people at
Moviehole, Miller plans to film Mad Max at the same time as his other reported project, Justice League. Currently, Miller’s working on the sequel to Happy Feet. The original took four years to film—it appears as though this project will continue throughout the making of both Justice League and Mad Max 4: Fury Road.
Miller’s Mad Max project is no longer attached to Mel Gibson as Miller’s opting for a star that’s younger. As of today, there’s been no hint of who may fill Gibson’s shoes in as Mad Max. Neither has there been any word regarding a storyline or moreover a working script. In lieu of these things, Moviehole’s source reveals that the project will begin pre-production immediately, which leaves the possibility that it will be released before Justice League.
The creators of SCRUBS have obviously read the sitcom rulebook. Rule number one: a baby kills your ratings. When Perry (John C. McGinley) had his son Jack, we saw him a handful of times. Since Carla and Turk (Judy Reyes and Donald Faison) had little Isabelle, she’s probably appeared on the show three times at the most. Now there’s JD’s (Zach Braff) son Sammy—born last week and M.I.A. for the majority of this week’s episode.
Little Sammy wasn’t the only one missing in action. Thankfully, Keith (Travis Schuldt) has disappeared from the halls of Sacred Heart. Hopefully he will stay away. Kim (Elizabeth Banks), too, has left the building—conveniently moving forty miles away for a new job. Don’t you wish real-life breakups could be so convenient?
Fortunately, JD has another family member to contend with—big brother Dan (Tom Cavanaugh). I love when Dan is on the show. Not just because Cavanaugh is one amusing guy, but also because it’s always nice to see JD as the responsible one every now and again. Oh, whoops, spoke too soon. This week, JD gets shown up by his formally deadbeat brother.
At the start of Thursday’s episode, we learn that Tobey has just gotten back from a camping trip with Ryan and the managers from the other Dunder Mifflin branches. Michael was conspicuously excluded from the retreat. Hiding his disappointment, Michael makes fun of a bunch of guys eating s’mores together and plans a “Survivor Man”-like adventure in the Pennsylvanian wilderness. After trying to get Jim to join him, he enlists Dwight to blindfold him and find a remote area off the beaten path.
This leaves Jim in charge, who’s immediately approached by Angela (head of the party-planning committee) about a party for Creed, whose birthday it is. As it turns out, there are 5 office birthdays this month and Jim proposes to roll all the stupid celebrations into one big party. He figured if they go all out on one party they can do something fun while also getting all the lameness out of the way. No one likes the idea, but they don’t immediate confront Jim.
Meanwhile, Dwight has led Michael to the middle of nowhere and left him with a knife and duct tape to fend for himself. Michael thinks he’s alone, but Dwight actually stick around with the cameraman out of sight to keep an eye on his boss. It’s obvious Michael has no idea what he’s doing but he had some fun cutting up his suit for different purposes.
Tonight, James dodged a bullet. The newly formed tribe Hae Da Fung made a monumental mistake by not taking out the lovable gravedigger when they had the chance and James, possessor of two (TWO!) immunity idols made a huge error by not playing one tonight. Basically he got lucky that Todd is a flake.
The action picked up right from the return from last week’s tribal council where Jean-Robert came close to being sent to the jury. Had it not been for Jaime having the wrong placard and therefore not the immunity idol, he would have been voted out- not her. Back at camp he was shaking from the near-hit. It didn’t upset him to the degree that he wouldn’t refer to himself in the third person but he was feeling it. James said, “So what you want? A hug?”
As funny as that was the real line of the night came when James was talking about holding on to tribal lines and how difficult that was the variety of people he considered in his alliance. He named the lunchlady, the poker player, the waitress and Todd, “The stewardess.” Thank you, James. I had been calling Todd weasely, but I think from here on out, “The Stewardess” will do nicely.
Our little Betty (America Ferrera) has become a woman & by that I mean she’s finally the trampy whore I always hoped she could be. Now if I could just wish her some style and a dietician my life could be complete. This week we find Hildra running back and forth from her room to Betty’s room to help hide the fact that Betty spent the night with Henry. Everything is going fine until their father comes in and Hilda is pretending to be Betty when Betty starts climbing in through her own window. This leads to a blow out fight and Betty moves out and says she isn’t going to her father’s naturalization ceremony for becoming a citizen. She asks Cristina if she can stay with her, but Henry finds out about this and swoops down like an ugly night in shining armor, saying she’ll stay with him. If this wasn’t so dramatic, I’d vomit a little in my mouth. And while we’re talking about vomit, did anyone see Henry’s body a couple of weeks ago? If only we could cut off his stupid head.
Anyways, things for Wilhelmina (Vanessa Williams) are not going great. It seems her perfect wedding is being upstaged by Perfect Spice aka her Maid of Honor aka Posh/Victoria Beckham. Wilhelmina even tries to put Posh in a burlap sack in order to make herself look that much better, but much to her dismay Posh continues to shine as a golden idol of fashion awesome. On her wedding day, Wilhelmina has had just about enough of Posh and has her bodyguard lock her up in the ladies room & Wilhelmina proudly exclaims she’ll just have to go on without a maid of honor. Awesome.
I might have admitted this a hundred times before, but good god, I cannot continue to hate this stupid show. I think I am addicted to the drama, but can’t the writers decide to put Ugly Betty in the middle of a Mode special layout—A MAKEOVER—so we don’t have to see her looking like a frumpy lardass?
This week Betty (America Ferrera) and Henry work especially hard to try and give it a go at their SECRET relationship. Betty’s dealing with the fact that everyone’s supporting her at getting over Henry & no one wants her to have a romantic rendezvous with a man that has to leave New York in five months.
Back at Mode, Gio (Freddie Rodroguez) shows up. Now he’s got his own sandwich company, Gio’s Sandwiches. He credits Betty with getting him started on his own company after getting him fired so he gives her some coupons for some free food. Personally, I love Gio. I love the witty banter between Gio and Betty, & I wish the two of them would get together. Someone assassinate Henry so I can get my flipping wish.
It is business as usual on this week's GREY'S ANATOMY. There is; a newly adopted baby with a dying mommy and a feckless father, a boy who swallows magnetic marbles so his parents will get divorced, and a guy who can't crap and a facelift patient who find "chemistry" in their shared room. As usual all the funny, heartbreaking medicine is about the melodrama of our favorite hot docs and their sex lives. And when GREY'S plays fast and loose like it did tonight, that's a good thing.
The show often fails when the medicine mirrors the characters on the show in some inane way. Such was the case a few weeks ago, in the Halloween episode with the little boy who had no ears and his gross little story about flushing his goldfish down the toilet after it died so it could go back to the sea. At the time, Meredith was looking for a place to stash her mother's remains. Stories like that are a little too cute for me. Luckily this week the big picture of the cases wasn't too closely tied to the stories.
I am still not sure if this week's episode of MY NAME IS EARL sucked or not. It was one of those lame “to be continued…” episodes that always leave me feeling the same way I do when I wake up naked & alone after a night of heavy drinking. Basically my major complaint this week is that I hate “to be continueds” and I walked away with a generally dissatisfied taste in my stupid mouth.
Earl (Jason Lee) talks a lot about how he’s spent most of his life taking care of his little brother Randy (Ethan Suplee). While Earl’s in prison & Randy is a prison guard, Earl still ends up taking care of his inept little brother. Mostly Earl finds himself catching Randy before he lands himself in a terrible situation that would lose him his job, but Earl isn’t always around. Earl takes some responsibility for the fact that Randy doesn’t know how to function without him, but still, he feels as though he is continually his brother’s keeper and it’s getting old—fast.
While trying to sort that out, the Warden (Craig T. Nelson) calls Earl into his office. As an aside Randy calls the Warden the landlord & the principal before Earl corrects him. Really, what would Randy do without Earl? In the Warden’s office Earl finds out that the Warden is working on a “scared straight” program where a select few inmates travel to local schools and literally scare the children into being productive members of society. The children use to travel to the prison, but attempted breakouts have caused the Warden to change the policy.
Lordy, my favorite episodes of MY NAME IS EARL are their COPS themed shows. Truly, after watching tons and tons of episodes of COPS it’s realistic to understand that any sort of crazy concept the writers can come up with will work. I mean, once I watched a midget try and climb a telephone pole to get away from the police—COPS is wonderful.
Earl & Randy are in prison. Earl’s still a convict & Randy’s working as a prison guard. The other convicts are giving Randy hell as he’s trying to turn off the communal television at 8 p.m. After one of the convicts swallow the knob off the TV set Earl & Randy’s other episode of COPS. It takes place on the 4th of July—Camden’s first Independence Day since the September 11th attacks and the police are out in full force.
If anyone saw last season’s MY NAME IS EARL episode of COPS they’d realize that most of this episode of a petty rip-off of the hilarious hijinks that went on back then, but for continuities sake it works to play off what went on in it past. It begins with Joy (Jamie Pressly) attacking Earl with a weed whacker because he hasn’t brought her any of the money she’s demanded that he make. After she beats him she sends him back to the Fair to make her some money. As she so aptly screams, “I’M THE QUEEN & YOU’RE THE WORKER BEE. YOU’RE SUPPOSE TO FEED ME, DO ME & DIE!”