By Kevin McCarthy

Oh, hand me a barf bag. When an episode opens with Lana (Kristin Kreuk) and Clark (Tom Welling) riding horses across a field as sensitive-guy music plays in the background, the precious meter just pegs into the red for me. Then comes some sappy dialogue, and a thunderstorm, and … wait a minute. Who left the kryptonite on the ground? Suddenly, Lana grabs the kryptonite, a lightning bolt hits the windmill Clark happens to be leaning against and, in a plot twist we saw about four or five seasons ago, Clark’s abilities get transferred into some unsuspecting mortal. In this case, it’s Lana.

Well, maybe we don’t need the barf bag now. Despite the twist being recycled, the cast and crew run with it. For one thing, Clark didn’t lose his abilities, so he and Lana are on equal footing for once. How do they test this out? Guess. For once, the earth really does move. Of course, this leads directly into awkward moment #57, when Clark discovers that Chloe (Allison Mack) and Lana discuss sex with the superpowered set. Anyway, after the high of no longer being Clark’s woman of Kleenex subsides, Lana starts thinking about what she could do with these powers. Her answer: Turn to her surveillance of Lex’s (Michael Rosenbaum) house for inspiration, then run over and steal the liquefied remains of Brainiac’s ship. Since it exhibits signs of sentient behavior, the odds that it’s actually Brainiac in a can seems pretty damn high.

Anyway, Clark, concerned about the long-term effects of his abilities on Lana, turns to Lionel (John Glover) for assistance in finding a way to restore her normal status, to which Lionel tells Clark she was behind his captivity. Clark goes home and runs into Lex, which goes about as well as you’d expect. Meanwhile, Lana’s burning desire to punish Lex gets decidedly ugly when mixed with superpowers, which she demonstrates at the Daily Planet before heading home to Old Baldy.  Lana decides to do away with Lex and almost succeeds until Clark’s timely intervention. Lana says a few nasty things, Clark pulls the power switcheroo using a power line and a bunch of kryptonite, and the liquid metal makes its escape in the confusion. Another episode ends with more questions: Is the new editor of the Planet on Lex’s payroll? Does Lex have a plan to get back at Lana? Are Chloe and Lana headed for a smackdown? Does the Pope wear a chapeau with some height?


Lots of violence in this episode, and most of it isn’t physical. Welling and Kreuk apparently were told to ring some changes on their superpowers, because in many ways, this is the most vulnerable either has ever been. Clark spends most of the show looking like his Prozac hasn’t kicked in, and it’s to his credit that he does it without being overtly mopey; his feelings are eating at him, and Welling proves that being able to throw a tractor into orbit doesn’t mean you have a handle on what happens in your head. Kreuk is also pretty good here, making Lana into a more complex, darker character than she usually is. After several seasons of wishing they’d ditch her, I’m seeing now the appeal and potential there, and it’s a nice change. SMALLVILLE continues to make play interesting arpeggios on the bones of the Superman mythos, and it’s turning out to have a pretty good tune. Here’s hoping they don’t pooch it.