By Faith McQuinn

I am officially annoyed with PRISON BREAK. I may have been hinting at it for the last couple of weeks, but this time, it’s for real. Even with this week’s added twists, I just can’t seem to muster up enough concern to give a damn about what happens to Michael (Wentworth Miller), Lincoln (Dominic Purcell), or anyone else on the show.

This week, Whistler (Chris Vance) gets a visit from Gretchen formally Susan B. Anthony (overplayed, as always, by Jodi Lyn O’Keefe). She tells him that they’re going for the “bang and burn,” whatever the hell that is. “What do I do about Scofield?” Whistler asks. “Kill him,” Gretchen replies with her best bitch face firmly in place.

Yep. I’ve already turned off my brain and given it a rest for the next hour.

And I think the writers and directors of PRISON BREAK know that I, and the rest of the viewing audience have, have taking a brain break because they keep doing those instant flashbacks as if we can’t remember what happened on last week’s episode or even what happened before the last commercial break. Whoever thought that dramatically flashing back to key moments from two minutes ago would make for more interesting television needs to find a new job. I know I’m watching a show on Fox, but I’m not really that dense to not remember Gretchen’s kill command when Whistler pulls out his shank to stab Michael.


Speaking of stabbing Michael. How is it that Whistler would even get a chance to stab Michael? Two seasons ago, Michael Scofield was one exceptionally smart cookie. He had an escape planned tattooed on his body for God’s sake. How is it that this genius took most of the hour to notice Whistler was checking his watch every two seconds and seemed overly paranoid about everything? I guess the level of smartness depends on the plotline because there’s no way Whistler could’ve gotten away with most of the stuff he did today without first-season Michael catching on.

So let’s discuss this bang and burn fiasco. It seems that The Company is mad at Gretchen for not getting Whistler out when she was supposed to. They call in Plan B, and it involves helicopters and lots and lots of weaponry. Exactly why did The Company need Michael and Lincoln if they could just call in the calvary to get their man out?

And why, right before the whole deal goes down, does a man call Gretchen to find out if Whistler OK’ed the killing of Lincoln? Who’s really in charge here? All I know is that there is a lot more to Whistler than meets the eye, and I just don’t care enough to find out.


What I did kind of care about was Michael’s ingenious escape from Sona. No, crawling out the window in the middle of the day didn’t work. Neither did grabbing onto Whistler as a helicopter tried to take him away. What worked was causing all the problems. As the alarms sounds, a man we’ve never seen struts into the yard, picks up Michael, and tells him he’s too much trouble and must leave Sona. Knowing this is the fall finale; I’m expecting the man to raise a gun to Michael’s head and then the theme music to start. But no, Michael is escorted from the prison by armed guards.

Is it too much of a coincidence that this man we’ve never met comes in to take Michael away? Yes, yes it is. How do I know? Because I was told during the preview for January’s episode. Huh, guess I really don’t have to keep watching.