By Curt Schleier

TELL ME YOU LOVE ME started its season with a bang.  In fact, pretty much everyone was banging someone.  Graphically.  With the kind of attention to detail that might have won it an award from Adult Video News. However, the series ended with a whimper.

After 10 hour-long sessions, the only message the show seemed to have for viewers is you have to be crazy to see a therapist.  Where to begin? 

Why not start with Jamie (Michelle Borth), who I have affectionately labeled the slut?  When the series started she was engaged to Hugo (Luke Farrell Kirby); but she broke it off when she overheard him tell a friend he doubted he could be loyal to her for the entire length of their marriage.  She did the right thing.  Only later did we discover that the self-righteous whore (in the nicest sense of that word) didn’t wait for the bloom to come off the rose.  She was fooling around on Hugo while they were engaged. 


It seems Jamie is one of those women whose self-esteem is wrapped up in her sexuality.  She uses sex as a weapon (and based on frequent observations over the last 10 weeks, she is an excellent marksman).  Since the break-up, she’s slept around, seen the therapist, May Foster (Jane Alexander), and stolen a co-worker’s boyfriend.  Then, unexpectedly, she runs into Hugo.  Guess what?  They get married.  In between, there is a lot of psychobabble and stupid dialogue. 

Jamie tells Dr. Foster, she met Hugo again.  Foster says “it’s like destiny.”   No, Jamie responds, it’s “more like fate.”  Duh, the two words are synonyms.

Hugo says he’ll take her back knowing that she might stray, because he’s rather have part of her than none at all.  I suppose there’s a chance HBO will renew this series, and I wouldn’t mind revisiting them next year when Hugo is on trial for murdering Jamie and her lovers – and then blaming it on Dr. Foster.

Moving on, Carolyn (Sonya Walger) and Palek (Adam Scott) spent much of the season trying to have a baby.  Apparently, they didn’t spend much time communicating, because it was only after Carolyn finally got pregnant that Palek revealed he didn’t want children.

Again there’s a lot of psychobabble and stupid dialogue: “You’re a quitter…You’re a coward.  I’m not going to let you leave.  I’m pregnant.  We’re having a baby.”  His reply: “You got what you wanted; you don’t need me.”

He moves out. She’s alone.  Sadly, Carolyn loses the baby, and when last we see them they’re lying in bed together, he trying to comfort her. Will they get back together?

I suppose there’s a chance HBO will renew this series, and I wouldn’t mind revisiting them next year when Carolyn is on trial for murdering Palek – and then blaming it on Dr. Foster.

This of course leaves us Katie (Ally Walker) and Dave (Tim DeKay), the 40-ish couple who haven’t had sex in over a year.  Well they’re still not having sex, and there is still no rational explanation for it.  That doesn’t mean they’re exempt from insipid dialogue and psychobabble.

“I felt I left who I am somewhere and can’t find it,” Katie says.  “The one thing a therapist can do in a time of darkness is turn on a light,” continuing that the idea “is not to be so shocked by the glare that you want to turn it off.”


Katie and Dave have a fight.  He runs to her and they start making out.  Will they have a year’s worth of make-up sex?  You have to go to be kidding me.  Instead, Dave forces Katie’s hand down to her nether regions, and they both masturbate themselves.  You have to go one small step at a time.

I suppose there’s a chance HBO will renew this series, and I wouldn’t mind revisiting them next year when Dr. Foster is on trial for murdering Kate and Dave – and blaming it on the stupid patients who she has to see.