By Curt Schleier
The unthinkable happened on 30 ROCK.
No, it didn’t suddenly get the ratings it deserves. Some of you still don’t listen to me and watch the show every week. I have your names, and it’s only a matter of time before I get your addresses. So beware. Where was I? Oh, yes, the unthinkable.
What I mean by unthinkable was that the ever liberal Liz Lemon (Tina Fey) ratted out an Arab neighbor to Homeland Security. And that’s not even the worst thing to happen this episode. No the most evil thing was that Jack Donaghy (Alec Baldwin), currently head of NBC and the presumptive heir to the throne at GE, slept with a Democrat. How could he?
The first part of the adventure begins when Liz comes home from work and discovers the mailman left a package at the wrong door. It really should have gone to Raheem Haddad, the new neighbor across the hall. When she brings it to him, he refuses to shake her hand. This, of course, is a sign that he’s a militant who degrades women. When she looks over his shoulder, she sees a map of the United States with pins in what looks like key strategic points.
Of course, she’s thrown for a loop, so when he introduces himself the best she can come up with is “Raheem, that’s my mother’s name.”
Back in her apartment, her temporary roommate Pete Hornberger (Scott Adsit) sings Raheem’s praises. Raheem apparently knows electronics, because he’s fixed an appliance for Pete and also shown him a shorter route to the airport. What kind of an Arab knows electronics and the short route to the airport? I don’t have to spell it out for you, do I?
Liz, however, never makes assumptions based on race. “I asked a black guy if he saw SIDEWAYS,” she says a little too defensively.
Later, Lemon sees Raheem and another Arab doing military style exercises in the park. So she calls Homeland and the folks take him away to apply electronic gadgets to his nether regions.
While you gasp at the implications of that, consider that Donaghy attends a Republican fund raiser where he meets this beautiful blond CeCe (Edie Falco). They retire to his apartment for the evening and it isn’t until he’s watching the news the next morning that he discovers that CeCe is Cecelia Coleman, a Democratic representative from Vermont. Not only that, she’s the pain in the, uh, neck who has been fighting another GE division, the Steinhart Wig Co., which has tainted the local river with pollutants. There is no physical harm to the town’s children – but they’ve all turned orange.
CeCe and Jack vow never to see each other again, but accidentally grab each other’s cell phones. In addition to allowing a plug for Verizon, the “accident” means they need to meet again to return the phones to their rightful owners. That’s when she tells him she’s in New York working in Bill Clinton’s Harlem office helping Hilary draft health care legislation. Those words enflame Jack who says: “I want to kiss you on the mouth to stop you from saying such things.”
Will Jack and CeCe get back together? Will Raheem be able to have children? The answers are yes…and maybe.
Jack says: “Be with me until the sex goes bad and then we’ll walk away bitter and angry.”
As for Raheem, all he wanted was to be a contestant on THE AMAZING RACE. He’d made a demo tape with his brother that showed all the places they’d already traveled to on a map in his apartment. They also taped themselves doing exercises to show how fit they are. And what RACE contestant doesn’t know the fastest way to the airport?
What hath Lemon wrought? A very angry Arab who claims: “Soon everyone will know the name Raheem Haddad.”