By Michelle Lerner

How strange must it be to be one of the girls remaining on AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL? They are all certainly beautiful, the sort of girls who were probably told their whole lives “Hey! You should be a model!”  And now here they are, after sending in some B.S audition tape, kind of actually modeling. But not just modeling. They are also thrust into some absurd situations that have little to do with the grind of being a real model. Tyra isn’t teaching these women to model, she is teaching them to supermodel.

I don’t think the Eastern European girl who lives downstairs from me is any designer’s muse. She is very thin and beautiful, and probably makes a nice living. But I doubt anyone ever gave her lessons in how to be “fierce.” Tonight on ANTM, the girls are given as a challenge the chance to be a designer’s muse, at L.A’s version of New York’s Parson’s, (where PROJECT RUNWAY takes place.) I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the challenge is a backwards version of a PROJECT RUNWAY episode; that show premiered its fourth season last night on Bravo. I wonder if it was a little competitive rub from team Tyra.


To be honest, it’s more interesting watching the designer be inspired on PR then watching the girls be inspiring on ANTM. I think this has to do with the way the show was cut. I didn’t really get a sense of how any of the girls inspired the designers, or a sense of the designers as individuals at all. I understood Heather’s frustration with her outfit. The most interesting part of the challenge storyline was watching Lisa trying to explain who she is, and having no clue. It was heartbreaking. I’ve commented on Lisa’s lack of intelligence repeatedly, but what also strikes me about her is her intense insecurity. I get the feeling that some one really took it out of her; there is a little bit of tragedy in her gorgeous doe eyes. It makes her interesting despite her lack of depth. Actually, she is interesting because of it—she’s a marked contrast to the other more sheltered girls. Lisa has a serious story somewhere inside of her; she was an exotic dancer before she came on the show.

Heather fell apart a little this week, as was to be expected at some point. But happily for the viewer she didn’t hugely flame out (the editing definitely made her tantrum seem much more dramatic then I bet it was.) The girls all need to realize that the challenges don’t count for very much except getting a prize. If you lose you’re not definitely going home. If you take a crappy picture you will. Heather doesn’t seem to grasp this; she flubbed her lines at the fashion show, and spends the rest of the episode self-flagellating and snapping at the other girls. She took some great pictures anyway—if she hadn’t I’m sure the panel would have pounded her. As it is Heather gets off with a little advice; Tyra tells her to learn to compartmentalize, which hilariously is what my shrink has been teaching me NOT to do for years.

Bianca is emerging as a frontrunner; her takedown of Heather has made her mentally stronger. When Heather was scolded by the suit from Elite(a ringer for Robert Evans, a creepy look around the girls,) Bianca beamed with joy, as though her prayers had been answered.

The shoot had a “stranded in the desert” theme, which looked like something that would appear in an actual magazine. That is, I believe, a first this season. When the shoots are good, the pictures are more interesting to judge. Along with Bianca, Chantal stepped it up, inviting comparisons to Cheryl Tiegs. I still find her totally fake, but amusingly so. During Heather’s meltdown, Chantal says “we’re all here for each other,” while picking at her ends and rolling her eyes.


I don’t get Saliesha at all, and I feel like the producers don’t either. She made almost no mark this week, despite winning the challenge. She’s kind of floating along in Bianca’s loud wake. It’s Ambreal and Lisa who tanked. Watching Ambreal fall is like watching a rock sink. There’s no hope of swimming back up to the surface anymore; she doesn’t take good pictures, she’s corny and she (and I am going to mock myself relentlessly later for saying this) has not talent for modeling. Lisa, with her grace and Sophia Loren face, is more like a deflated balloon. There’s hope for floating there.