By Buzz Byrne
Jean-Robert was voted out last week and the remaining contestants were quite pleased with themselves. Except Denise who wasn’t informed by her alliance that they were turning on one of their own. She rightly feels on the outside of her group and should be guarding her flank a little better. Courtney described camp without Jean-Robert like Christmas morning and then she and Frosti spoke in baby voices to each other.
But with Jean-Robert gone, who will be the new villain? Peih-Gee? The Stewardess? Maybe the Stewardess but that will take a while. This season is sorely lacking in that one guy you love to hate. Jean-Robert never really delivered and now the field is barren. As long as we have touched upon problems with this season, let me mention a few others. What happened to making these people suffer? This is going to be the first season where the final three gained weight while on the show. Every time you turn around somebody is getting sweet and sour pork or fries or a sandwich and a giant bottle of beer to wash it down. The only physical threat to these people is going to be clogged arteries. They are playing for a million dollars after all; I want to see some pain! On SURVIVOR: AFRICA they had to take shifts at night watching for lions possibly breaching their compound. In China the most this crew has to guard against is bed-head.
The reward challenge involved bouncing a tennis ball on Chinese drums through an obstacle course. The players were divided in to two teams of four. Denise, despite the mullet, was not picked last this week. Yea lunchlady! Her team that also included Peih-Gee, James and the Stewardess got positively smoked by Amanda, Frosti, Courtney and Erik. The major skill set for this particular challenge was akin to having a deftness with the hackysack. No real surprise who won.
The prize was a cruise down the Lee river and, uh yep, a feast. Amanda thought it was the most amazing experience. They even saw a goat! And then, OMG! Erik did an impression of a goat! Then Frosti gave Courtney a backrub and moved her bikini strap, and then I tried to find a support beam in my house that would hold my weight so I could hang myself.
James is hoping the old Fei Long tribe can hang together long enough to get to, “Where we have predestined ourselves to be.” Speaking as someone who has tried to predestine himself, I have to say they have their work cut out for them.
At the immunity challenge Jeff Probst started it off by saying, “First things first, Courtney. Time to give it up.” This was probably confusing to Frosti who thought that happened on the Lee river cruise. My guess is that he was drunkenly humping the boat’s tiller in the middle of the night and thought it was Courtney. This is the stuff I think of when the show loses me. I see a backrub and immediately shout, “They are SOO doing it!”
Probst was actually talking about the immunity idol and Courtney did give it up. The players had the option of playing for immunity or gorging themselves on burgers. Frosti, Amanda, Erik and Peih-Gee all played while James, Denise, the Stewardess and Courtney opted for the meal. Peih-Gee eeked out a win over Frosti and saved herself for at least one more week. The major alliance was going back and forth between voting out Erik or Frosti. The group put the screws to Courtney and tested her loyalty by choosing Frosti and seeing if she would follow suit. She did and the bamboo-stalk-shaped vixen sent her boytoy packing. “With cheeseburgers still on their breath!” Frosti said as Jeff put out his torch.
Don’t sweat it Frosti. I’m sure their cholesterol is through the roof.