By Sabrina Cognata
Really, this episode has more to do with the gigantic transformation going on for Sean (Dylan Walsh) and Christian (Julian McMahon) in regards to the surroundings their in and how they’re responding to them. Naturally, we all expect one of them to shine a little brighter cause it’s always been that way, but things are not always as they seem. Christian’s an utter flop with the Los Angeles culture and people find him slightly offensive. Dylan on the other hand is finally flourishing. He’s a regular on Hearts n’ Scalpels and has started a romance with his fellow actor, Kate Tinsley (Paula Marshall) and is getting recognized all over Los Angeles for the role he plays on TV. This can only lead to Christian being a bigger, more pompous asshole than usual, right?
Christian is approached to enhance the breasts of a Marilyn Monroe impersonator who is desperately competing with another impersonator for the same spot on Hollywood boulevard. Sound like anyone we know? Christian understands her desire to squash the competition, so to speak, and he happily agrees to apply his craft to a Kinko’s copy of one of the world’s sexiest women. At the same time, her nemesis visits Sean and asks for the same procedure. When Christian and the other Marilyn find out Sean simply says that money is money and they currently need the business so what difference does it make. It’s a slap in the face to both the Marilyns, who’re stuck in the same post op room, and Christian just because he’s Christian.
Christian decides to drop out of the television show and is feeling pretty good about his decision when he hears from Fiona (Lauren Hutton) she tells him that US magazine got wind of Carly Summers surgical procedures. Christian smiles smugly when hearing about this from Fiona, who continues by telling him that she has done damage control and gotten Christian’s name removed from the article by attributing Carly’s rejuvenation to diet and exercise. She then drops Christian as a client and tells him good luck being Sean’s monkey boy now that Sean is the star. Christian does what Christian does best and begs her for a second chance, which for reasons I am not clear on, she does. His second chance starts with a PlayGirl photo shoot. Disappointingly, Christian cannot achieve an erection, but Fiona and her perfect old lady tits save the day. Just like Fiona promises, Christian’s appointment book is filled for weeks to come, but not by dissatisfied women, but gay men. Christian throws a fit, but Fiona tells him that the gay mafia in Hollywood runs everything—who do women turn to when they want work, but their gay friend, right? Christian gloats over this fact to Sean who I am not even sure cares.
Meanwhile, Julia calls Christian and tells her she’s coming for a visit, and that she’s bringing her new lover, Ollie. She also asks Christian not to tell Sean about Ollie. So Christian runs over to Sean and tattles immediately. Sean’s in his own set of trouble as he’s been really fickle with Kate as she admitted to having gastric bypass surgery and has tons of loose skin in her mid-section. Sean tells her he can fix those problem areas with the swipe of his magic scalpel. After seeing all the fat and loose skin removed from her body, Christian mocks the former tubby and makes Sean feel stupid and awkward for liking her. Instead of keeping their date he decides to opt out of it for a People Magazine photo shoot. Gosh, Sean’s sounding more and more like someone we know—I don’t know if Los Angeles is ready for two Christian Troy’s though. Sean sees the errors of his ways when Christian goes to take Kate on a date. He begs Kate to take him back.
Sean and Christian have bigger problems at work when one of the Marilyns decides to off herself in the perfect homage to the original Marilyn and takes all of her painkillers. After pumping her stomach and saving her life the Marilyns decide to give up being enemies. The final shot of the show has both Marilyn impersonators in bed with Christian—what a lame life of Hollywood irony he lives.