Wednesday, November 21, 2007 Rant Archive
“You’re a mean one, Mr. Grinch!”
No matter how many times I hear that song, I will never tire of it. When that jazzy melody kicks up, and the insults start flying, I can’t help but my own ongoing plots to steal Christmas, thereby succeeding where the Grinch failed. To me, Dr. Seuss’ classic holiday yarn HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS! is to be taken as a cautionary tale: there are many people out there who talk the talk, but when it comes to the showdown, rarely do they walk the walk.
Every time I watch that opening sequence with the syrupy songs the jolly Whos of Whoville sing as they decorate for Christmas, I totally get why the Grinch wants to stick it to them. 24/7 happy people annoy the crap out of me too. It’s for this reason that I am perpetually disappointed when the Grinch, having robbed every house in Whoville, suddenly goes big in the heart and blue in the eye (he starts out with red eyes,) just from hearing the Whos sing the same songs which set him off in the first place! Yeah, yeah I get it: Christmas is about more than materialism. But then, if presents and decorations truly don’t matter, the Grinch should’ve been able to dump his sled of stolen goods off a cliff. Lets see the Whos sing their way through that!
One thing about Gregory House (Hugh Laurie)- he plays to win. If only his prospective fellows could have figured this out one of them wouldn’t have gotten fired tonight.
Tonight Dr. Cole (Edi Gathegi) and Dr. Kutner (Kal Penn) take in a magic show and wind up with a patient. The magician himself. He nearly drowns doing Houdini’s last trick.
House doesn’t see a mystery and wants to play his games. Namely, he wants to reward the fellow who can return with Dr. Lisa Cuddy’s (Lisa Edelstein) thong. Whoever retrieves the item can nominate two others and House will fire one. Since the group isn’t sure that House is serious, Foreman tells them, “That’s how I got hired.” At least House and Foreman are having fun together.
While Kutner pursues the case of the magician, Dr. Taub (Peter Jacobson) and Dr. Amber/Cutthroat Bitch (Anne Dudek) team up to get the thong. Both hope to soak Cuddy but both fail. Kutner gives the magician an MRI and the key he had swallowed to escape his last stunt rips through his intestine and spleen. House still insists there is no case.
House and the magician spar about the essence of magic. House calls it trite nonsense and the magician calls House a closet magic fan. “You seem the type,” he says, “Lonely, obsessive.” But House is about lying to get to the truth, not deceiving to get a few “WOWS” from the crowd. And yet the magician baffles him with a card trick.
Much of the political discourse about Iraq today centers on whether we should have been there in the first place and how do we get out of this mess now. Very little is being said about the affect of the war on our soldiers and how we treat them when they return from war. These last two questions are at the heart of HOME OF THE BRAVE, a film that should be applauded for its ambition, though not its execution.
Ironically, the film (earlier this year) and the DVD (now) are timely, if not timeless. The Veterans Administration just released a report that said Iraq vets are becoming homeless far faster than soldiers from previous wars, including Vietnam. And that may be only one of the problems they face.
HOME OF THE BRAVE seems an attempt to update the William Wyler classic, BEST YEARS OF OUR LIVES; in that film returning World War II veterans discover that their lives and relationships with friends and loved ones have been dramatically altered. Even if you’re not familiar with it, you’ve probably seen clips of Harold Russell, one of its stars. The TV networks seem to roll them out every year around award ceremony time. He is a double amputee and the only performer to win two Oscars for a single role, the first as Best Supporting Actor and another for being an inspiration to returning vets.
Dr. Sweets (John Francis Daley) is back, as is this season’s most interesting bad guy The Widow’s Son, otherwise known as Gormogon.
The episode opens with Cam (Tamara Taylor) being called onto a murder scene instead of Bones (Emily Deschanel) because the body is still very much a body. When the team gets it back to lab, it turns out the victim is missing his kneecaps. A discovery made by Zach (Eric Millegan), finally making him king of the lab. Not a major story point, but still worth the mention.
The gooey victim with the missing kneecaps is a bishop. The bishop’s kneecaps, which are delivered to Bones, are the next piece in Gormogon’s unfinished skeleton sculpture. With the delivery to Brennan herself, it looks like Gormogon is finally taking a personal interest in the squints.
Week after week, I find myself with new things to love about BONES. I’m usually one for focusing on the relationship side of the story. Although, with continuing Widow’s Son arc, I’m getting very into the mystery aspect of the show as well. Finding out that Gormogon was once an apprentice who has now become the master is a bit creepy. The team isn’t just looking for one crazy cannibal; they’re searching for two.
Last week Isabeau went against her team and voted with her conscious, sending Amy home. Her teammate and friend Julie was feeling mighty betrayed by this and her trainer, Crazy Jillian was flaring her nostrils with a renewed vigor and approached the subject by telling Isabeau she better not EVER fall below the yellow line because “Bryan will consistently beat you!” I’m not sure where that tactic falls in the trainer handbook but I chalk it up to Jillian being out of her gourd crazy. And Julie is pissy because she hasn’t dropped forty pounds yet which means she is having a tough time and is getting soft in the comfy ranks of a large team. Boo-Hoo.
And, by the way, Amy was no lock to stay with the Black team. She turned on the Red team and I think she would have turned on anyone to stay in the game.
Once again, the staff members of NIP/TUCK have restored my faith in God, but this week I wasn’t the only one. Dawn Budge (Rosie O’Donnell) is back and as annoying as ever. While hang gliding Dawn is attacked by an American Bald Eagle, part of her face is ripped off and she nearly dies in the accident. In order to deal with the trauma she visits her favorite plastic surgeons to repair her “beautiful mug”. Christian (Jilian McMacon) tells her the most successful outcome will come as a result of a procedure where they have to sew her lips together. Post surgery Dawn is attacked by a man known only as the “Butt Bandit”. He attacks people post surgery by finger-banging their assholes with the excuse of needing a stool sample. Once Sean (Dylan Walsh) and Christian hear about this they decide to diffuse the situation by giving Dawn something to keep her quiet—and Dawn wants a field trip to Hearts ‘n Scalpels. While on set with Sean, Dawn accidentally gets a giant 300 pound light. Freddy comes to her rescue and it is love at first sight. I didn’t even know he wasn’t gay. This love affair comes as a shock to me, what about you?