December 2007 Entries
Hello. Allow me to introduce myself. I am a full time freedom fighter. I travel the globe searching for oppressed people to help. Times were a little slow for me after the downfall of the Soviet block, but thankfully things have picked up recently. As you can imagine, freedom fighting is a very strenuous and stressful job, so whenever I get the opportunity, I take out my CIA satellite receiver and zonk out on TV. That is (besides taking apart and putting back together a variety of weapons while I am blindfolded) my main area of expertise.
The second I see anything that resembles a cartoon I go straight to dreamy town. Maybe it’s the colors and the flashing lights, but probably it’s the fact that I think it’s damn boring and lame before I even get a chance to watch it. That’s judging and narrow mindedness and I am all right by that. Sadly, I cannot maintain the ability to be entertained in a 4th grade way unless there is nudity involved, however, this film’s intense subject matter happens to help bypass my nudity law and I survived my trip to see it.
I guess this article should be subtitled: HOW TO BE AWESOME WITH STYLE: A GUIDE TO HATING EVERYTHING IN A FASHIONABLE WAY. I know these things because I am from Los Angeles: home of the revolving door excellence in the subject of being constantly attractive while acting like a complete asshole. So here’s the catch, I can’t find anything that I actually consider the best of 2007. In fact the best thing about 2007 is this writer’s strike — hopefully it will lead to potential storylines that are not boring, contrived or absolutely obtuse.
The producers of HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF PHOENIX are to be congratulated on a number of significant accomplishments. PHOENIX is the fifth film in the series and David Heyman and David Barron have managed to hold the cast together. If this were an American production, the young actors would have been hold-outs for money when they weren’t out clubbing at night, getting embarrassing pictures (or videos) posted on the web and getting arrested for drink and drugs.
How goes it, my name is Kofi Outlaw and I’ve been your overly opinionated blog-friend for a few months now. Remember that sudden influx of geek-chic news that began flooding this site? Yeah, I apologize, a lot of that was my doing. I’ve been studying (and majoring in) writing and literature since high school, college, and, after a three-year stint in corporate purgatory, I recently began my graduate studies at the New School in New York City, to earn my masters degree in (you guessed it,) writing. I got into this blogging game after my best friend went from being a freelance blogger, to a website editor earning a ridiculous salary, working from home in his bathrobe. Apparently, the American dream really is achievable.
Ask the average person who John Sayles is and you’ll likely draw a blank stare. But his first feature, THE RETURN OF THE SECAUCUS SEVEN, filmed for just $40,000, helped launch the independent film movement. It’s been pretty much uphill ever since -- with the exception of a couple of plateaus. Film buffs certainly recognize most of his other films – among them MATEWAN, EIGHT MEN OUT, THE BROTHER FROM ANOTHER PLANET, PASSION FISH, LONE STAR, SUNSHINE STATE, and LIMBO -- as proof that when it comes to filmmaking, money and quality are not necessarily synonymous.
AVP-R is not so much a movie as a collage of gruesome death scenes. Normally this would be a bad thing—however the truth, in this particular case, is that gruesome death scenes are exactly what you’re paying to see. A lack of gruesome death scenes was exactly the sort of folly that marked the original AVP as a tragic case of missed opportunity. AVP-R begins just where the original AVP left off: with a Predator scout ship departing earth, their slain brother in tow. Just when all seems at peace again, a Predator/Alien hybrid pops out of the dead Predator’s chest...
Hey there LOST fans, I’m sure you’re as stoked as I am for our favorite TV mystery/sci-fi/drama’s return on January 31. To help prep you for your deep-dive back into the island’s (too) many mysteries, I thought I’d remind you that abc.com has been airing a series of LOST “mobisodes” online every week since November.
Check 'em out and rant back and let us know what you think of the clips, and if you are (not) psyched for LOST’s long awaited return to the airwaves.
Before I even knew I would review this film I was hearing things left and right about it. Mostly, I continued to hear how absolutely amazing it is and how I would be impressed beyond all human comprehension. Due to this fact I continued to find myself telling people to shut up and stop tainting my brain with their incomprehensibly stupid opinions. This is something I am wont to do because I hate most everyone, and I believe it is this a contributing factor to the reason that this film absolutely turned me on.
First came OCEAN'S ELEVEN, which wasn't bad, but it was followed up by the horrid OCEAN'S TWELVE. Last, but certainly not least, came OCEAN’S THIRTEEN. As I was still retching from the sour taste of TWELVE, I spared myself a trip to the multiplex to see the flick this past summer. However, by the time the end credits rolled on my DVD copy, I could happily give the OCEAN’S team a solid thumbs-up for bringing the serious to an adequate conclusion, which I would place just a little bit under ELEVEN, but leagues above TWELVE.