Wednesday, December 05, 2007 Rant Archive
Pictures of the first promotional poster for BATMAN: THE DARK KNIGHT hit the web this
week. As you can see below, the poster is a clever little riff on the characters of the
Joker (Heath Ledger) and Batman (Christian Bale), featuring a lipstick-red bat insignia which, (taken with the two dark circles drawn above it,) forms a crooked smiley-face, reminiscent of the Joker’s clown makeup. The “Why So Serious?” motif, which is also the domain name of KNIGHT’S viral marketing
site, appears scrawled across the head of the poster.
More exciting however, was an event that took place this week in NYC, where DARK KNIGHT director Christopher Nolan allowed some very select members of the press to view an extended trailer of the film shot in IMAX, which will premiere to the general public on Dec. 14, as the lead-in to the IMAX print of
I AM LEGEND, starring Will Smith.
MTV news reports that the six-minute clip covered DARK KNIGHT’S opening sequence, in which a gang of criminals, donned in clown masks, storm a Gotham City bank. A bank employee (PRISON BREAK’S William Fichtner) informs the crooks that the bank is mob-owned, and therefore protected. The crooks don’t care who owns the place, and begin loading cash, until a mysterious figure begins taking them out one by one.
GO is the sort of holiday movie that makes complete sense to me. Maybe it’s because any holiday that comes around my friends and I try to figure out creative ways to get totally messed up, which causes us to end up in all sorts of trouble that we eventually need to get out of. Go is a multi-dimensional storyline being told from three separate vantage points concerning a drug deal that goes terribly wrong on Christmas Eve. Now before you start thinking this is some sort of drug related drama—don’t this movie, my friends, is all comedy.
The story, told three-fold comes from the vantage point of four characters: Ronna (Sarah Polley), Simon (Desmond Askew) and Adam and Zach (Scott Wolf and Jay Mohr). Ronna is broke. Let me rephrase that, Ronna’s broke and in debt. She needs $380 so she won’t be evicted and is willing to do anything to get it. Simon offers her his shift at Sons market so he can go to Las Vegas with his mates for Christmas and she snatches it up. While working Simon’s shift, Ronna is approached by two guys, Adam and Zach, to buy twenty hits of ecstasy. Usually they buy from Simon, but he’s out of town, so they press Ronna and she tells them she can hook them up.
As if the world wasn’t screwed up enough already, actor Nicholas Cage, (now promoting NATIONAL TREASURE 2: BOOK OF SECRETS,) recently told reporters that he would love to do a sequel to
GHOST RIDER, which was slammed by critics (and most viewers with an I.Q. over 50,) yet somehow managed to go to gross $224 million at the worldwide box office. (They’re still trying to thaw Hell out after that one.)
In the past, Cage has maintained a staunch
‘no sequels’ stance though, like most people, his morals probably got tossed out the window once Disney put up the cash-money to lock him into BOOK OF SECRETS. (C.R.E.A.M., my friend, C.R.E.A.M.) When asked about
GHOST RIDER 2, Cage is specifically quoted as saying,
“All they have to do is call, and I would love to see that happen. That would be fun.”
DOUBLE GAG! Rant back and let us know if you are as horrified and offended by the thought of another GHOST RIDER film, or if you are one of the three people who actually enjoyed it. God willing, this story will end here.
This week we catch a glimpse into the world of McNamara & Troy as it would be viewed by us if it were less drama and more reality. Christian (Julian McMahon) talks Sean (Dylan Walsh) into signing onto his reality show. It’s not that Christian wants Sean, but needs Sean to help make his dreams of stardom a reality because the network will not agree to do the show without the star of Hearts ‘n Scalpels.
The name of Christian’s reality show, the show he’s suppose to be the star of is PLASTIC FANTASTIC. They even show you the intro for the show, the credits or whatnot and it’s Sean and Christian flailing around giant size scalpels and staring at hot women. Basically, the show is an abbreviated version of the show we already see, but with snazzier, reality TV type editing and more pictures of Christian cupping random patients breasts while promising them a bigger, better rack.
What is there to say? Some bosses are just nice to work for.
This is the first week that Conan O’Brien, host of NBC’s LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O’BRIEN,
will pay the salaries of nearly eighty members of his staff, who are currently out of work due to production shutdowns caused by the WGA strike.
Unlike fellow late night host David Letterman, who owns his own show, Craig Ferguson’s LATE LATE SHOW, and the production company that employees those shows’ staffers, O’Brien will be tapping his personal bank account to aid his staff, who are employed by NBC. His own eight-figure salary has been suspended until production on LATE NIGHT resumes.
O’Brien’s (foolish) generosity is said to be rooted in the deep sense of loyalty shared by he and his staff — loyalty which will most likely factor into 2009, when O’Brien will relocate (staff in tow?) to the West Coast, in order to take over for Jay Leno on THE TONIGHT SHOW.
So, Sam (Bret Harrison) is dating the lovely daughter of Mimi, the hottie who the Devil (Ray Wise) had been stringing along for years, and Sock (Tyler Labine) and Ben (Rick Gonzalez) are concerned that Sam may dating the descendant of Old Scratch. Considering Sam’s less-than-stellar run with Andi (Missy Peregrym) and their own lack of success with the distaff persuasion, you’d think they’d be more supportive. But, they do have a point, highlighted by a mean little prank Satan plays on Sam before the credits even stop rolling. That rascal.
Jake Gyllenhaal (RENDITION, ZODIAC) has been tapped to play football hall-of-famer
Joe Namath, in a biopic about the life of the famed New York Jets quarterback.
The film will focus on Namath’s meteoric rise from golden-armed prodigy, to Champion football player, and all-around icon for the turbulent times of the 1960’s. It will explore how Namath, a vehement non-conformist, led the New York Jets, and the entire fledgling AFL to football glory in Super Bowl III, helping to establish football as America’s TV sport du jour.
In addition to football, the film will utilize Namath’s status as a 60’s cultural icon to explore historical events such as the Alabama Civil Rights Movement (Namath was QB at the U. of Alabama at the time,) the sexual revolution (sure he enjoyed that) and the war in Vietnam. A script by writer David Hollander (THE GUARDIAN) should be completed when the current
WGA strike ends.
Well, it appears that Denny Crane (William Shatner) is at it again. After getting arrested, for what must be at least the 10th time, Denny enlists the help of his bff and staunchest supporter, Alan (James Spader). While a lawyer who is able to maintain his license after continuously getting into legal trouble may defy comprehension, it makes for hilarious and riveting TV. Come on, only Denny Crane can get away with those kinds of shenanigans, and only William Shatner can pull this kind of ridiculous, albeit entertaining, character off without a hitch. And my hat’s off to Alan who always seems to be able to pull Denny back from the brink of destruction; actually, my hat’s off to the writers who come up with this zany stuff. And while Denny and Alan are busy cleaning up yet another of Denny’s messes, Shirley (Candice Bergen) has a timely case of her own.
In what can be considered ripped from the headlines, ok that’s from another show, so sue me, Shirley takes part in a case involving a radio personality’s dismissal for using disrespectful language. You can call this storyline a major cue, considering Don Imus just went back on the radio yesterday.
WAYANS BROS. TO DO ‘MUNSTERS’ REMAKE
In a recent interview with
MoviePicturesfilm.com, Shawn Wayans, of the famed Wayans Brothers (SCARY MOVIE, WHITE CHICKS,) revealed that the family of comedians was planning a feature film reboot of cult-TV smash, THE MUNSTERS.
Now before you roll your eyes at the thought of Shawn and Marlon Wayans donning yet ANOTHER set of ridiculous customs to serve some implausible premise (WHITE CHICKS? LITTLE MAN?) Shawn was quick to add that THE MUNSTERS remake would only feature the Wayans brothers in the off-screen roles of writer and producer.
“Next we’re taking the old TV show “The Munsters” and making that into a feature film.” [Shawn said,] “We’re contemporizing it…something I want to clear up is that we’re not going to be in it. We’re just writing and producing it. We’re going to get some white people and paint them green.”
Now that Team Red has been sent packing with the elimination of Bryan, the show’s dirty little out-in-the-open secret can be spoken: Kim, the Red Team trainer, just isn’t that good at her job. There is no doubt she can make people drop weight and gain muscle but she just can’t get her teams to win. So not only has her team been eliminated from the show but so has she. After a quick video goodbye from Bryan and no one left to train, Kim was booted from BIGGEST LOSER campus.
The two remaining trainers, Bob and Crazy Jillian, tried to prepare there troops for a rocky reentry into their lives. As difficult as it is to lose weight, it only takes three little things: healthy eating, exercise and the will to do both. As part of this preparation the contestants were sent off to “work” for eight hours to give them a feel for what life will be like off-camera and back in civilization. They were not told where they were going to work. They just had to pack a healthy lunch and snacks, squeeze in a morning workout and be ready for the day.
THIS JUST IN! Actor Ray Park, best known for his role as lightsaber staff-wielding Sith Lord Darth Maul, from STAR WARS: PHANTOM MENANCE, has been confirmed for the role of ninja extraordinaire Snake Eyes in the upcoming live-action G.I. JOE movie.
So far, fanboy reaction to the announcement of the JOE film has been lukewarm to skeptical, with many fans already denouncing the movie for casting actress Sienna Miller as the Baroness. That said, I don’t think anybody is going to be able to poo-poo the choice to have Darth Maul play Snake Eyes. If you really think about it, they’re pretty much the same character: silent, deadly, agile, and able to kick some serious ass with a sword. See? Same thing.
No other cast members of G.I. JOE have been announced, yet casting rumors continue to swirl (Marky-Mark will play Duke, Tyrese will play Roadblock, The Rock will cameo as Sgt. Slaughter, etc.) As fact begins to overtake fiction, we’ll let you know more. For now, rant back and let us know what you think about Snake Eyes going over to the dark side.