By Sabrina Cognata

This week we catch a glimpse into the world of McNamara & Troy as it would be viewed by us if it were less drama and more reality.  Christian (Julian McMahon) talks Sean (Dylan Walsh) into signing onto his reality show.  It’s not that Christian wants Sean, but needs Sean to help make his dreams of stardom a reality because the network will not agree to do the show without the star of Hearts ‘n Scalpels. 

The name of Christian’s reality show, the show he’s suppose to be the star of is PLASTIC FANTASTIC.  They even show you the intro for the show, the credits or whatnot and it’s Sean and Christian flailing around giant size scalpels and staring at hot women.  Basically, the show is an abbreviated version of the show we already see, but with snazzier, reality TV type editing and more pictures of Christian cupping random patients breasts while promising them a bigger, better rack.

The patient they decide to highlight for their pilot episode is actually a man, Damien Sands.  Good old Damien tells the boys that he’s got to get some work done because his sagging face and neck are impeding in his industry.  Sean asks him what line of work he’s in and homeboy gets totally defensive and basically admits he’s a male prostitute.  He then talks about all the fresh, young meat cutting in on his work and glares and Christian.  HEY CHRISTIAN, WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO LOOK BACK AND DAMIEN AND BE LIKE, “SORRY BOYFRIEND, BUT I AM NOT SURE WHY YOU KEEP ALLUDING TO THE FACT THAT I AM A GIGGILO LIKE YOU?”  Christian eventually decides to comp Damien for the services rendered because Christian is such a upstanding fellow and because he wants Damien to shut up about the sex work Christian is/was doing on the side.

The excuse Damien uses to pimp out free face work is that the reality show causes such a ruckus at McNamara & Troy that it’s disrupted his ability to rest and he has to use morphine to sedate himself from the pain even though he’s a recovering addict.  In addition to the fact that Damien initially asks to have the procedure done without any pain killers or anesthesia and Christian waits till the surgery is underway and then disregards this fact for two reasons:  Olivia (Portia de Rossi) is using her acupuncture skills to sedate Damien and nothing makes Christian happier than totally disregarding the woman sleeping with the love of his life and because in the middle of the facelift Damien starts to rattle on about the sex industry and how Christian might be connected to it. 

Meanwhile, Eden shows up and flips out about rehab.  She starts blowing the whistle about everyone’s secrets while whining about the fact that her arms are covered in cigarette burns.  Suddenly, Sean swoops into savior mode and begins helping Eden heal.  Too bad Sean is an idiot because Eden gets all swoony over him and is like YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON ON EARTH THAT’S BEING NICE TO ME EVEN THOUGH I AM ACTING LIKE A MONSTER. Later, Sean proves his nobility by helping Eden, and attributes his Mr. Wonderful behavior to the fact that a M.D. comes at the end of his name.  He immediately kills this notion of himself by deep throat kissing 18-year-old Eden and highlighting the fact that he's a scumbag and she's a filthy whore.


The only reason Olivia is involved in the facelift is because of Sean.  Sean uses Olivia to perform Eastern medicine for two reasons, she’s suppose to be great at what she does and because he continues to try and get Julia’s (Joely Richardson) approval regardless of the fact that she doesn’t want him back.  The reality show’s producers see the Olivia, Julia, Christian and Sean charade as ratings gold so they totally exploit it.  What they do not see ahead of time is the fact that Liz (Roma Maffia), the anesthesiologist and reigning lesbian at McNamara & Troy gets up on Olivia and the two makeout.  Olivia actually comes onto Liz because she feels rejected by Julia because Julia’s been having such a terrible time coping with the fact that she’s now a dyke.  After having some special one-on-one time with New York from I LOVE NEW YORK Christian decides to create more trouble by blowing the whistle on the Liz-Olivia kiss and Julia shows up at the plastic surgery clinic acting like a Jerry Springer guest.

Christian and Sean see how badly things go and decide to tell their new P.R. gal they want nothing to do with the show and they want out of their contract.  After berating her for a few minutes she tells them it doesn’t matter cause the networks refuse to purchase the show because initial testing indicates that PLASTIC FANTASTIC an utter piece of crap and it completely discredits them as doctors according to the results.  Even though Christian and Sean have already decided they wanted out of the show, the duo acts hurt about the fact that their show was rejected and considered a useless flop. 

Sean eventually says that he sees himself becoming very Hollywood and basking in the glory that is fame now that he’s coming out of Christian’s shadow.  Aww, how cute, the two dimensional character might have depth.  The reality show idea is hilarious and well formatted, but stupid New York and her cameo were basically unnecessary and not all that funny.  I could have done without that entire scene and with a scene showing us how Christian realizes that Liz and Olivia are making out.