By Sabrina Cognata
This week my suspicion about the sad PROJECT RUNWAY typecasts is finally confirmed. Too bad it isn’t killing all parts of this show because some of the contestants are not only happy to play the role they are casted as, but they’re willing to do it while being as dumb as possible.
After last weeks male designing fiasco Heidi brings in the designers and tells Jack, last weeks winner, he can stick with his old model or swap with one of the other designer’s models. Jack decides to swap with Ricky’s model and Hispanic homeboy looks to Jack with daggers. I guess if Jack dies before the end of the season we’ll know who to point a finger at.
After this, Heidi tells the designers they will go the studio and meet Tim and a woman there—and they will explain this week’s challenge. Tim’s in the studio with the wicked queen herself, Nina Ricci, together the two tell the designers their challenge this week will be updating outdated looks. The twist happens to be the fact that the looks will be grouped together in sets of three and must be presented on the runway as a cohesive collection. Simple you say, well exactly what do you know?
Team Jillian w/ Rami and Kevin: Overalls, Poodle Skirts, 70’s flare WINNER, cohesive, modern collection. They decide to incorporate all three looks into the each piece while keeping an updated, chic look.
Team Christian w/ Jack and Kit: Pleather, Zoot suit, Fringe. They decide to incorporate all their looks using muted black and white colors. It was a nice collection. They modernized creepy looks and made them work on the runway. I am still not so sure about the Zoot suit look, but over all it was way less worse than Ricky’s and Chris’s collections.
Team Ricky w/ Victorya and Elisa: Underwear as Outerwear, Neon, Cutouts. Poor Ricky, I honestly think if Chris’s shoulder pad jacket disaster wasn’t so tragic Ricky would finally be out. Once again, his dress looked unpolished and thrown together. In all fairness, stupid Victorya is a monster bitch. I really wanted him to turn to her when he was fixing her stupid dress and be like I AM IN CHARGE. YOU ARE A PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE KNOW IT ALL BITCH! Too bad I never get what I want. Elisa’s dress was cute as hell. That airhead might be a force to reckon with by the end of this contest.
Team Chris w/ Sweet P and Steven: Shoulder pads, Baggy sweater, Dancewear. This uncollection is TERRIBLE, simply terrible. The only thing worth looking at in this collection is Sweet P’s sweater dress. Steven’s stupid Dancewear looks like an ugly Forever 21 dress and nothing like dancewear while Chris’s shoulder pad jacket looks like something campy and ugly that you would use to set a fat old sideshow lady on fire.
In the end, the judges concur with me and decide that Ricky and Chris should be left on the chopping block. Chris looks like he ate something bad, but I guess he always looks that way since he is morbidly obese. Ricky gets ready to start crying again and Heidi says he is safe. He hugs her and runs backstage and I secretly hope he pulls a Naomi Campbell and beats Victorya in her face, but he just cries more. Way to go for blow past gay designer stereotypes Ricky.
Next weeks promo shows everyone crying again after Jack makes an announcement. We already know he’s got the HIV so what else could be such a big deal. I really think these contestants need hormone replacement therapy. There is no reason they should all be crying this much. What they need on this show is a major scissor fight between one of the queens and one of the women.