By Sabrina Cognata
REVOLVER is originally a film released in 2005 and apparently failed to be a big deal. In fact, the idiots that run the studios thought it would be a great idea to re-release it and hope everyone that missed it the first time, gets a chance to experience the fact that it still sucks and Guy Ritchie has lost his mind.
This isn’t the sort of mind losing that you expect after you watch a Fellini film and think that maybe you have been chomping down on mescaline, but the sort of insane that you come to understand as megalomania induced by entirely too much religious brain washing. Here’s the premise as I have come to sort of understand it.
Mister Green (Jason Statham) ends up taking the fall for the crimes of drug dealer/crime boss/mobster Macha (Ray Liotta). Green spends his time in the clink in solitary confinement housed between a conman and a chess expert—intercepting their chess matches and con lectures. The two tell Green they plan to escape and take him with them, but when the time comes to escape, they vanish into thin air without Green, leaving him to finish the last two years of his prison sentence.
After Green’s release he shows up at Macha’s casino and in one massive con, swindles Macha out of more money than he even knows what to do with. Macha puts a hit on Green and during a massive shootout Green’s saved by Zach (Vincent Pastore). Zach takes Green to meet his partner Avi (Andre 3000) and they explain to him that he has a rare blood disease they can cure, but he must pay them all of the money he’s earned and perform degrading menial tasks in order to get the antidote. Did I happen to mention these two idiots are also mega loan sharks?
Green does their evil bidding and a bunch of boring things happen. This is where I usually get into the ending of the movie, but I cannot even bother with that because this movie is actually so terrible I want to waste all the words I have left on telling you what a piece of crap it is. First of all, this movie could have been saved. In the vein of gangster flicks it’s pretty alright, and the problem is Ritchie takes his Kabbala brainwashing so serious that he’s decided to pollute the end of his film with it.
The first half of his movie is written by some other personality, and then the second half of the film happens after midnight when he turns into his other self. The entire ending is some sort of highly surreal existential mess that attempts to express the point of view that the ego can be a terrible thing when it is no under control. THE EGO IS A HORRIBLE POLLUTANT OF YOUR MIND WORLD. This he explains by having Ray Liotta cry and scream FEAR ME while in his manties. I have never been so sad for anyone’s career in my life.
In conclusion, I hate this movie and I feel dumber for having watched it. If Guy Ritchie’s career was soaring in the late ninties now it has crashed into the proverbial mountain and I guess if he wasn’t Mr. Madonna he’d never be asked to make another movie ever. Too bad he’ll probably direct another tragic film with her melting off face in it. Gross.